The Fat, The Ugly, and The Stupid (A Personal Story)

Anna tells her story like it is, no apologies. She remembers all the details of her life. Sometimes it is the honesty of the voice they write with that has the impact. I think this is the case with Anna’s story. She is honest about herself and all she has gone through. I think you will see it all in her words. ~Alan Eisenberg

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I grew up with short hair.

I get jealous of all the girls I seen with long, beautiful hair.

I was in first grade. My dad took me to the barber shop before he took me to school. When I walked in the classroom, one of the boys said I look like a boy and all the boys laughed. I started to cry. My teacher, took me into the office. She told don’t listen to them and that I’m a beautiful girl and our hair will grow. All my teachers were females.

The girls in my class made me feel better and the boys had to apologize. Having them make me feel better didn’t work. I get teased because I look like a boy. I had to attend summer school because I didn’t pass third grade. These older boys teased me by calling me a monkey in Spanish. I didn’t cry or tell my bus driver. I told my sister and my parents and they said I need to tell the driver. They kept doing it but I never did.

I was happy to pass and move on to the fourth grade. One day when we had a substitute teacher, one my classmate shouted that I looked like a monkey and they all laughed and I started to cry. The sub, had me go to the bathroom. As I close the door, I can hear her yell at the class. One of the fourth grade teacher, saw me and asked if I was okay and I told her yes. When I got back in the class, they were all quiet. When our teacher, came back, she was not pleased. She wanted everyone write her a letter about what happen. One my classmate, who I became friends with name Tessa, wrote an apology letter. The whole class apologized. I wish I never accept. They really hurt my feelings.

I should have mentioned about the kids that called me that on the bus when I attended summer school.

January 2003, my mom cut my hair. My hair was finally growing til my mom ruined it. She didn’t care what others will say and made me go to school. I cried in the hallway. The Chorus teacher saw me and had a talk with me. He told me I’m a beautiful and that I don’t look like a boy and I shouldn’t listen to anyone. He sounded like my first grade teachers. We saw a fifth grader name Angela walk by and Mr. Walker told her to come over her and said she has short hair. It wasn’t short like mine. It was a short bob cut. She told me I looked beautiful too.

I smiled when she said that. The teacher walked me back to class. My teacher in the class was worried and told me the same too. Half of the boys in my class were rude to me. While my friends and I were reading on the floor, they came up to me and pulled my hair. I started to cry and my teacher  had to yell at them. I don’t know what I did wrong. I was hoping fifth grade would be better but it wasn’t  We had to put on a Chorus show. While practicing dancing, two boys (one of them from first grade who said I looked like a boy and his friend T.J. were teasing me. The teachers tell them to stop but they continued.

In May, my mom took me to see a doctor. I told her how the students are mean and that I don’t want to attend Lowe’s grove because it’s a bad school. For some reason, they got the idea I wanted to kill myself. I didn’t know it was called suicide. The doctor called my teacher, and she was very worried. My whole class knew. They told me how scared they were.

I didn’t think they would care. The fifth grade teachers also knew and they all hugged me. I never said that. I didn’t know what to say. I had to attend Lowe’s grove.

I meant to send an application for DSA (Durham school of art) but I couldn’t find it. But I finally did find it in my dresser but it was too late. My first day of sixth grade went okay. I was really mad that I didn’t have a bus to ride. I had to wait a week so my mom had to pick me up on her way from work. Then, I rode bus 249. I had to wait for my principal. While waiting, a girl popped her head out the window and said where did you get your ugly skirt and they all laughed. I started cry.

The Principal saw me and told me everything will be okay. I could not believe I was riding the bus where a group of kids were picking on me. We had a boy/girl side. Girls sit left and the boys on the right. They made me sit on the right because none of them wanted me to sit with them. Our bus driver, Mrs. Alston, saw that I was sitting on the right and asked me why was I sitting there? I looked at the girls and didn’t say anything. Mrs. Alston wasn’t mad. She told me to go sit on the girl’s side. I sat by myself. I didn’t say anything else.

In life class, a boy was teasing and I had my head down, crying. After class was over, the teacher ask me what they said and I told her and she asked should I ignore it and I said no and she said yes, I have too. Then a boy said life would be better without me. I just wish all this teasing would stop. I just wanted to transfer to another school but my parents said no. I wish I had different parents. Ones who care about me.

Then two boys whom I call Beavis and Butthead always make jokes on the bus. My bus mate thinks they liked me but that’s not truth. I get teased because of how ugly I am. No guy will flirt with me or even say I’m beautiful. I hated gym class. I sucked at sports and get picked last all the time. After it was the last day of school, I got another transcript for DSA.

I got a letter back and I didn’t get in. I didn’t think things would be any worse til Doris, my older sister, forced me to get a haircut. I cried while the man was cutting it. After he was done, he told I am very beautiful. Doris told me there a lot of pretty celebrities like Kirsten Dunst and Kelly Rowland with short hair. They look beautiful with short hair, not me. Boy, was I not ready for school.

Seventh grade was okay. I was still called ugly and someone called me fat. I wore makeup and I still didn’t look pretty. In Spanish class, our teacher, Ms. Logan, decided to throw us a pizza party. I missed a day of school because I was sick. That was the day she collected the money. We had to give her five dollars. During the party, she went to get the pizza. My friend asked me if I brought my money and I told her no. The teacher didn’t say anything. She looked like she had enough. She asked why and some girl said because I’m slow and a boy said because I’m spoiled. I felt like crying. One of my nail on my index finger broke and I was bleeding. I showed my classmate Jessica. When the teacher came back, she told her my finger was bleeding. She blamed the class because of what they said. I went to see the nurse but she wasn’t there. They gave me a bandage.

During the second semester, I had art class with a girl. She was really mean. I mean, she threatened to punch me in the face. People think we might get into a fight. While playing soccer in gym, I got kicked in the leg and none of the girls would apologized. I still got picked last for the team. Things got when everyone had the idea I had a crush on this girl. They pick on people who are gay.

I don’t know who started it. I really hated Lowe’s grove. All they do is bully others and misbehave. Not only do they tease me because I was fat and ugly, they also tease me because I’m different from them. I love Harry Potter and the Black eyed peas and they hated them. They think I’m a loser because of that.

After seventh grade was finally over, I got another transcript for DSA. We never got the letter back. We went to the school board and we didn’t get in. I was really mad. Doris said it’s my last year but I didn’t care.

Eighth grade was the worst semester of my life. I was tease everyday. I got another haircut. I try avoiding but pretending I’m sick. I also get teased on the bus. A girl was saying hurtful things to me just because I told the assailant principal, , that she is being rude about the bus seats. She thinks she owns the bus. The assistant principal finally assigned seats. I’m so glad she stopped bothering me. She became nice now. Dianne (who started sixth grade) and I sat with a nice seventh grader name Cassie. I don’t know what took her so long to assign seats. I had the biggest crush name one boy. He’s the cousin of the girl who picked on me. He thinks I’m ugly and calls me retard. Even his basketball teammates are mean to me.

I hated middle school Worst year of my life. I couldn’t wait to start high school because I’ll be going to Jordan, a really great school. I was supposed to go to Hillside since that’s my district school but it’s like Lowe’s grove. I was happy to get in. I had to attend summer school because I didn’t pass my math ECO. But I passed and I couldn’t wait to start my first day of school.

I woke up around five. My mom drop me to my cousin’s house. He was starting his tenth grade year. Jordan was the perfect. I had amazing friends and no one has bothered me. I come home happy and not complaining how much I hate school. Jordan is a much better high school than Hillside. It’s a clean school and the students are well behaved. It’s also nothing like Lowe’s grove either. After my exams in tenth grade, I couldn’t wait to start eleventh grade. But I had to repeat tenth grade and what’s worse is that I had to attend Hillside. I cried when I got the letter. Hillside was just like Lowe’s grove.

This one boy in my math class also said mean stuff to me. He calls me ugly. Even the class goes along with him. Hillside was the worst school ever. Even the teachers and principals and counselors don’t care about bullying. It’s the same thing over and over. They didn’t do nothing. I finally graduated on January 25, 2012. I was happy to leave Hillside and leave all this abuse behind. All I know is that my bullying days are over and if I ever see them again, I will tell them “I moved on and I don’t care what you have to say to me anymore”!

~Anna