Bullying Recovery – Support a Book and a Company

Bully-RecoveryRecently, I have embarked on an adventure to turn my passion into a reality to help others that suffer with the long-term effects of bullying and C-PTSD to recover and thrive. I have mentioned one of my initiatives, which is to write a book. I am happy to announce that the writing of the book currently titled “A Ladder In The Dark: A Journey from Bullying to Self-acceptance” has been completed being written and should be edited and released by this summer.

I am also happy to announce that I have formed a company around my feelings on the issues of the long-term effects of bullying called Bullying Recovery, LLC. It is with great hope that I plan to try to devote my full-time to the issue of bullying and working toward the recovery of those that suffer from its long-term effects.

It has been eight years that I have devoted much of my free time at no cost to this issue. As the issue and the demand of my time continue to increase, I would like to be able to make this side work of mine, my full work. In order to do so, I have decided that you and people you know can help me through crowdfunding the startup costs and continued rising costs of publishing the book, that I believe will help many people who are currently suffering.

I have set up a site at:

http://www.gofundme.com/bullyrecovery 

You can go there and donate as little or as much as you can to help me continue to do this very important work on the issue of bullying. Through your dollars, I will be able to publish the book and get it distributed, set up more speaking engagements, and start a company with the main focus being the psychological recovery of people who suffer with C-PTSD. I would also like to work with the schools/universities to set up better research and support for school administrators and social workers to learn how to detect and work with bullying victims and bullies.

Please consider making a donation and following me at: http://www.gofundme.com/bullyrecovery

I truly believe that, with you help, I can continue to make a difference and even bigger impact on the issue of bullying than I have over the last eight years of work that I have done pro bono. Thank you for considering to help me with the cost of book publishing and starting up my company. I will continue to keep people updated through the Bullying Recovery Facebook site: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bullying-Recovery-LLC/1567410660204123 and through my twitter page @bullyinglte

Please consider liking both to receive more updates and thank you for supporting me and this cause for all these years.

Bully Incident: – The Sewer (1974)

This is the second in my repeats of stories past as I have been writing my novel. I think many kids feared sewers, particularly after Stephen King released “IT”, certainly a book that tied to the fear of sewers. Since writing this story many years ago, I realize that things like feeling trapped or claustrophobic are common place feelings for people with C-PTSD damage from bullying or abuse. It is the idea of not being able to escape. To help confront this, I would force myself to sit in the middle at movie theaters, go to the barber and try not to panic in the barber chair and go to crowded places. Even though I wanted to run away at the height of my anxiety, I forced myself to stay through the panic attack and eventually, I stopped having them. There is only one way to go with anxiety, and that is confront it head on and go through it. Just as the kids who become adults do in Stephen King’s novel, IT. ~Alan Eisenberg


I have mentioned before how our brains have a tendency to put certain memories in the far backs of our heads. They are forgotten there, until sometimes a trigger can bring them forward.

Pretty much all of my stories I have told on this blog are from my days in Lexington, MA. But, something triggered me to remember the earliest incident I can recall the other day. I’ll call this the Sewer Incident. It’s more of a minor story, but still was an early bullying in my life. I don’t know why I had forgotten it, because when I recalled it, I realized how scary it was when I was only 6 years old in 1974.

We were living in Bowie, MD at the time. I was in 1st grade and took a long bus ride to school. I recall only fleeting memories of what happened, but my older sister was with me to help me recall more.

ITThe bus stop was at a sewer. I was a pretty small kid and, of course, there were kindergarten to 6th grade kids at the bus. One of the older kids had taken the sewer cap off the sewer. Of course these were very heavy metal things.

For some reason they chose me that day. They put me down in the sewer. I can’t recall if it was a bet or just a forced concept, but they made me climb down there. Then they put the lid back on it.

It was dark. I yelled for them to let me up. Instead they sat on it and taunted me from below. I recall just crying and being quite scared. Years later, the author Stephen King made me realize I was not alone in my fears of the dark sewer in his book “IT”.

My sister was yelling for them to stop and let me up. When they didn’t, she started running home and told them she was going to get my parents to come down. Once they heard that, they changed their minds and let me out.

OK, not the worst story and probably more of a joke to them than true bullying, but still something that scared a small 6 year old. I recall years later being offered the chance to go down the sewers at my college for what was billed as a fun night of sewer running by my college friends. I respectfully declined the invitation.

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A Painful Video That Shows Bullying Damage

For some reason, I found this video very painful to watch. That said, I think it is an important video that captures just how young someone can be to be damaged by the bullying that happens to them and how they are forced to try to understand and come to terms with the cruelty.

I think the mom who shared this video on YouTube was brave to show her children in this light and expose the damage that bullying can cause to another young human being who is just trying to understand what life is. It is exactly this issue, if left unresolved, that can lead to the long-term effects that bullying can cause. That is why I think this is an important video to share with our community.

How to Deal with Bullying

I am happy to have author and speaker Stephen Scoggins, who has his own blog website, and his book called “The Journey Principles”, share his thoughts and story here as he has on his site. Certainly, his tips on ways to deal with a bully help us realize there are things we are empowered to do to deal with this form of abuse. A big thank you goes out to Stephen for this post and his efforts to help deal with our bullies. ~Alan Eisenberg


Cowering girl with bullyWhen I think of the word bully, a mean kid from my elementary school pops into my head. In my childhood memory, he stood head and shoulders above the whole class and rumor had it he’d started shaving before 5th grade. We often associate the word bully with childhood, but bullies can exist in all walks of life. Adult bullies are usually more skilled at masking their behavior, but their actions can affect both our personal and professional lives. When someone treats us poorly, it can be difficult to see things from their perspective. However, we can change our approach to dealing with bullies by understanding their motives and sometimes we can have a positive effect on their lives.

The first thing to remember about bullying is that as much as it may be directed toward you, bullying is not actually about you. At its heart, bullying is a reaction to a force. What makes bullying so confusing is that it seems unprovoked, but the force that inspired it is still there. If this force comes from inner turmoil, the bully may seek to control or dominate to feel more secure. As mentioned in my book The Journey Principles, a bully/victim relationship is inherently a Giver/Taker relationship. If you are being targeted, it’s because you have something the bully wants. It may be an inner peace or giving spirit; whatever the reason, your bully’s aggression is an attempt to self-soothe.

5 Ways to Deal with a Bully:

Identification: Try to find the root of your bully’s insecurity. Does the insecurity stem from a difficult environment or something lacking in the person’s life?

Affirmation: Remind your bully that his or her words have a unique ability to change lives for better or for worse.

Discouragement: Do not reward your bully’s actions with the behavior her or she wants from you. This will only make the problem worse.

Physical and Mental Outlet: Encourage your bully to focus on a subject/activity he or she enjoys as a way to redirect energy in a positive way.

Outside Help: Seek the advice of someone outside of the situation. This person can add valuable perspective and keep you from suffering in silence.

When you seek to understand your bully, you might see an amazing transformation. Sadly, you might also see a repeat of damaging behavior. Remember that you can’t make people change, but you can deter them from treating you poorly. When you encounter bullies in your life, try to think of the motivation behind their actions. Everyone wants to feel valued, and when you sympathize with bullies, you’re giving them that gift. Your kindness may not fix your bully, but when you put yourself in another person’s shoes, you are ensuring you don’t become a bully yourself.

“God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth.”
(Matthew 5:5, NLT)

In your service,
Stephen Scoggins

How to Prevent Bullying Through the Martial Arts

Boy Martial ArtsFor children who may experience bullying, participating in martial arts is a positive way to build both coping methods and ways to deal with bullies on the spot. The effects of learning martial arts such as karate, kickboxing, or jiu-jitsu, are long-term, and changes can take effect immediately in some children.

The martial arts improve both physical and mental health. The obvious benefit of physical health improvement through exercise can give children and adults alike a feeling of well-being. But Martial arts also allow children to build confidence and self-esteem through goal setting, learning self-defense tactics, and making like-minded friends. For instance, if a child’s quest is to earn a black belt, he or she must take steps along the way and set individual, smaller goals to reach the final result. With each achievement, that child will feel more powerful and resilient.

Children who understand self-defense poses, stances, and maneuvers because of martial arts often have a sense of preparedness when faced with bullies. They are more likely to be able to defuse a bully without having to resort to violence. Role-playing responses on how to deal with a bully can often be helpful, and the martial arts teach just that. In addition, the confidence this preparedness and sense of worth provided by martial arts training may even ward off bullies altogether.

Why, though, do children bully? Commonly, bullying is a cycle: bullies may be bullied at home or have been bullied in the past. Oftentimes bullies haven’t learned the social or problem-solving skills they need to get along with children and in their day-to-day lives. Bullying becomes an aggressive, hateful response to being insecure, socially awkward, or even just bored – all of which are situations where these bullies may feel powerless. Bullying gives them a feeling of power. Regardless of the reason children bully, it is never okay.

Martial arts can provide skills for not only combating bullies, but for helping children not to be bullies. They can help stop the cycle of bullying by providing accountability and structure for children. If a child doesn’t experience discipline at home or at school, then he or she has the opportunity to do so through the martial arts. It takes a particular kind of rigor and focus to be successful, and martial arts instructors do not allow for goofing off during class.

The confidence that the martial arts instill in children can also benefit those who may be at risk for being bullies. The same way role-playing benefits those who have to deal with bullies, it will help children be prepared in case they feel like being angry or mean. The martial arts also teach being calm, as well as breathing in a calm manner to maintain composure.

Lastly, the martial arts teach children the importance of respect: respect for the teachers, for other students, and for themselves. Learning how to respect all kinds of people may help reduce bullying behavior.

For children on the East Coast, Tiger Schulmann’s MMA offers a bully prevention program every year. The program teaches children the definition of a bully, the different forms in which bullying may manifest, and how to stop a bullying situation without getting physical. All of these lessons teach the basic martial arts principles of discipline, respect, role-playing, and confidence to help children to better handle themselves in any situation.

~Tiger Schulmann’s MMA

Message to a Bully (A Personal Poem)

I remember the days when I enjoyed
my work,

Confident, with my experience,

figured yes I was earning my pay
Sometimes arriving to work early
Keen, to start my working day.
I’d think about and plan ahead
How I would accomplish important
tasks,

Certain I’d be able to address the
needs

Of people whose lives seemed in the
dark.

But then for some unknown reason
You felt you needed to take control,

Over time you made it difficult for
me

To achieve my working goals.

You stood over, and you yelled

And critised me too,

Your complaints, sabotage,
manipulation, jealousy and exclusion

Made me think what could I possibly
have done to you?

Nightmares and sleepless nights
Afraid to go to work,

I believed I was no longer capable

To do the job

I once loved to do.

No longer confident

Left with feelings of hopelessness,
despair,

You continued with your whispered
lies and bad behaviour

For a while my work life governed by
fear.

But today I want to tell you
I’m no longer a bumbling mental
mess,

Resilient, stronger, my confidence
restored

I’m now back to working at my best.
So now I’m asking you stop your
subtle behaviour,

Your malicious gossip, with
destructive intent,

And leave my workmates and me
alone

To do what we know best

~ Lilee

The Elite Cyber-bullies (A Personal Story)

Sometimes, when I read a story, it is hard for me to connect with the writer, because their world of bullying is so much different from my experiences. Such is the case with this story and the world of elite hackers cyberbullying that is going on. It is hard to distinguish the pain that comes with what people post on the computer screens of the world, as is the case here. ~Alan


CyberbullyingCyber bullying for me started a few years ago when I was a member of a forum called elitehackers.info which now no longer exists. Yeah, this saga has lasted a while and these cyber bullies that are after me refuse to leave me alone. Back then I wanted to learn about computer security, infosec,…but I was not doing any thing bad on-line and had no bad intentions but some one got a different idea when I changed my nick to, “cy83r7r0n.”

At that point I was contacted by this low life called, “Nacky.” I guess it appeared like I was too hungry and really eager to get into black hat sort of stuff but she was wrong so when requested to crack into some ICQ e-mails I refused eventually out right and instead posted the entire conversation that took place on that forum to my site (that was hosted on a free account and removed by just one e-mail to the admin by Nacky) and later on my blog (was removed just as well with all the comments that the victim of the ICQ e-mail made) and that is where the abuse started because I refused to be silenced and continued posting that conversation and later on even the e-mails she sent to me on myspace and other bloging platforms.

Now I refer to her as a non-entity. Not just because I am pissed at her but that is how she referred to her self in one of the e-mails that she sent me over the years trying to confuse me and get me to believe that she was some outside observer and here is a typical e-mail from her,

“You may remember me, you had me confused with someone named Naky. I had contacted you some time ago trying to warn you about a Shawn person. I had gotten to the bottom of some things but not all re: elitehackers. Something about this Shawn guy and the admin there. I could resend the info I came into if you wish.”
I believe that she has mental issues as all e-mails that I have received from her show that she has an enormous problem writing any thing with a head and a tail and no clear idea is expressed and it always comes in rambling sentences with grammatical errors. Besides that I believe she is an individual who has been coerced into the abusive world of these cyber bullies who are using her as a proxy to as they are involved in various cyber crimes such as cracking into peoples e-mail accounts, harassment and they even put peoples personal information on the doxbin site that is hosted on the tor network and once there it can not be taken down (last year three Finish teens were arrested in relation to that:
http://occupypeace.blogspot.com/2013/10/scoop-doxbin-arrested.html),…

So when the initial phase was over two hate blogs were on line and are still on line to date:
http://lyecdevf-is-lame.blogspot.com/, (I would like to ask for help to get these two blogs removed), http://failtrolls.blogspot.com/2014/02/gregor-aka-lyecdevf-aka-cyber-cunt.html, (For now they can only attack my on line personality but they are determined to figure out who I am in real life), two abuse reports were made to Google, and I received a whole bunch of e-mails full of confusion and statements that angered me. So if any one is wondering why I am writing this it has in part to do with Nacky as well who writes to me in a way that equates me with some low life and I can not accept this type of attitude.

She was trying to shut me up her self for a while but she could not get Google to delete my account but then others steeped in. Who ever was behind all this wanted to shut me up. These cyber bullies do not want to see me post on line the conversation where I was asked over and over again to crack into an account by Nakcy because that is illegal as it is a solicitation to commit a hacker crime but it goes beyond that. They do not want to hear any one talk about there techniques, e-mails,…in fact they try to censor all posts including this one. So I would ask the admin already at this point in time to take note of that as this page is going to experience a lot of heat and I do not blame any admin who feels the need to remove this post.

Nevertheless as I am going to continue my campaign to shed light on these cyber bullies in spite of being aware that they are going to try and censor me and fill my e-mail in box with abrasive messages. I believe that some one needs to do some thing as they keep a very low profile so to try and keep undetected while they are just going go around hurting people unhampered. They are an organized group who may use proxies to log in to there stolen e-mails and stay in general clear of social media sites. Such behavior is not typical of cyber bullies and they may leave me alone on twitter but Shawn would e-mail me there comments about what I wrote on line in his poisoned demeanor.

Shawn is another non-entity who after Nakcy tried to shut me up and to intimidate me even further by threatening me in an e-mail where a picture of a dead snake and a picture of who he believes is me were included. His e-mail account he was using ended in “ucide.” It was all so clear to me and in my abuse report to google regarding the threatening e-mail I wrote that he may want me to commit suicide. Google seemed to respond quickly but after he received the message directly from the abuse department he wrote from the same e-mail account again to me the following, “I am cheering for you to commit suicide.” Apparently what ever google abuse department had to say to him did stop him from continuing sending the abusive e-mails to me. That is why in part I need to take things into my own hands as this non-entity has proven beyond doubt that he is the lowest scum who has anger management issues and the only thing out of his mouth is disdain and rage.
Many times I have received e-mails from these non-entities who seem to believe that they can trick me some how to stop exposing them down to outright threatening me. All this time they acted like I was the bad party and called me every thing from spamer, trol, creep,…They even forwarded to me an e-mail with a generic answer from the police abuse department when they made a general type complaint about an abusive person because they are trying to turn the tables and make it appear that I am the offensive party when it is the exact opposite.
The attitude is really some thing from some middle schoolers and that is one of the many things that angers me. They invest enormous amount of time and energy to silence me and for the last few years I let them get away with it but now I have had it. After I received another e-mail from Nacky after half a year of complete silence I decided to take this to a new step. I want to spread the word all over the net because for one I know they are going to try and censor this stuff from all the blogs but also because I would like to get advice on how to effectively deal with this issue appart from just sitting there quiet and never mentioning any thing. I do not believe that silence helps.

P.S: I have written this to post on blogs to inform people of what has been taking place during various intervals during the past several years. I would be willing to edit this if you were willing to post this on your site.


“The apocalypse is not something which is coming. The apocalypse has arrived in major portions of the planet and it’s only because we live within a bubble of incredible privilege and social insulation that we still have the luxury of anticipating the apocalypse. If you go to Bosnia or Somalia or Peru or much of the third-world then it appears that the apocalypse has already arrived.”

~Terence