Pushed Too Far (A Personal Story)

When I first read this story, I was worried there would be no happy ending here. Abby’s story is very serious and shows just how close someone can come to losing the most precious gift we have…life. ~Alan Eisenberg

Hi my name is Abby.

This is my story.

I was a perfect, happy, giggly, funny kid. It started in Elementary School. 1st grade I had a best friend. We did everything together. She was sweet, popular, kind, and just awesome. I loved being her friend. Since se was popular, I was too.

girlbullyAfter that, I noticed I was getting heavier and she was thin, She started ignoring me in 2nd grade, One day I confronted her about it and she pulled me over and said,” Listen, I don’t wanna be friends with you anymore. You’re ugly, fat, worthless and you don’t matter so go away loser. I never liked you and never will!!” That hurt me. I came to school the next day and I confronted her about it but instead she didn’t respond a few popular boys pushed me to the floor an said,” listen she doesn’t like you so go get out of her and our lives. you’re a mistake. just go away just notice nobody likes you!” I got up and cried. I hid in the bathroom all day.

When I got home, I picked up a razor and started cutting my wrist. I swore I would never do that again. I kept putting up with the bullies until 3rd grade. I started cutting again and it became addictive. I attempted suicide 3 times that year. I tried choking myself, drowning myself and overdosing. I couldn’t take it. I slit my wrist more and more. I almost hit a vain.

4th grade, I was starving myself because I was called fat. I Was diagnosed with Anorexia and weighed 45 lbs in 4th grade. I almost died. Kids told me to choke myself. Finally I didn’t let it get to me. I got my metabolism up again. 5th grade, Kids called me a mistake, worthless, fat, dumb, annpying, and I cut again and again.

On the last day of school, I was shoved into a trash can.

I attempted suicide more and more.

6th Grade, I was going into middle school, It was a new year, new friends, new lives. I ignored all the bad past. I made new friends. they were popular. I was in their group and felt happy. Little did I know they were using me a joke. They back stabbed me and started hate groups, I got a swirly in the bathroom stall as well. They had a hate wall dedicated to me in the bathroom stall, I was told to kill myself because I’m unloved and unwanted, I had no friends, nobody, Nobody to lean on, nobody to be by.

I had to fend for myself. I got poor grades, poor sleep, poor appetite, I refused to go to school.

7th grade, It got worse. I cried myself to sleep every night, trying to kill myself, having my parents walk in on me trying to kill myself. I cried so much. I had to switch schools. I got beat up, let down, stepped on, backstabbed, choked up, knocked out, pushed around, I just wanted to end it.

8th grade, I switched schools. There was a rumor going around saying something stupid so I got yelled at and it started again. I cut. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, bulimia, panic disorder, etc. I cut so much and attempted for the last time I overdosed on 30 Advil & passed out. I woke up in a psych ward. I am getting therapy and help now. I still cut but not as much but my story shows how messed up the society is. Now I have friends, I inspire others and I wake up with a smile on my face knowing I am loved and still alive on this planet and I will not end my life over anybody. I am glad they did it to me because it made me who I am today. Just because I had a negative past, I am not gonna have a negative future.


3 thoughts on “Pushed Too Far (A Personal Story)

  1. Yeah, what a powerful story. Thank you for writing and sharing this, Abby. Yes, I too had a best (and only) friend who–at the start of 6th grade, it was–turned on me and said “Get another friend. Don’t you have any friends?” And was beaten up from 3rd through 5th grade, called names and ignored for the next three years. But then it got better, as you are seeing in your own case–and therapy, if good, can really really help. But I agree with you, it’s the society that’s messed up; it sure isn’t you.
    And you can still have a beautiful future—plenty of us have gone on to find and do wonderful things. Especially if someone is, as you obviously are, open and willing to share with others so they too can know they’re not alone. Thank you again, Abby.

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