Their Taunts and Insults (A Personal Story)

Melanie started her letter to me talking of the courage to tell her story. To think it doesn’t take an enormous amount of courage to share specific insults and hurtful words said to you is to think that it is easy to relive the worst moments of your life. When I get these stories I usually have to read them many times so that I can see them with calm, which is usually after the third read or so. Melanie vividly recalls the harsh words said to her and does not see a solution. What can you offer to help her? ~Alan Eisenberg

Their Taunts and Insults

You should know that I am a 17-year-old girl who comes from Germany. And was bullied from kindergarten up to high school. But for me it was the worst time from primary to secondary school.

In 2002, my parents and I moved into a small village. A new home also means new school. For the first few weeks, it was quiet around me. I had found some friends. And then it hit me straight in the face. I did not get along with the new school curriculum and was therefore called Dumb. It got worse as the summer came. Instead of making ordinary sports, we went swimming. This meant that all must change together. However I was for a 7-8 year old girl, already quite well-developed physically. They began to point with a finger at me and laugh. They insult me. Monster. Freak. Witch. My friends turned their backs on me. They said that I am no longer usable. One day a boy came to see me and put a knife to my throat. He threatened to kill me. This boy was in a class below me. No one helped me. I was hated. I cried a lot. At school (and at home). This was also the reason why I was called crybaby.

I came into main school. Again, it was quiet for the first few weeks. I had made friends.

But then a friend wrote a letter to me. The letter was written that I was a bitch and I should disappear out of her life. Shortly after the letter, began a group of boys to bully me. Shove. Pick with their fingers. Hair pulling. So they began. But at some point they wanted more.

They threatened to rape me. So I told my parents. And my mother went straight to the school. But the school has done nothing. However the guys forgot the rape threats.

In return, they insulted me. Bad. Bitch. Miscarriage. Whore. Freak. Monster. Witch.

Ugly. Fat. Amazon. When a bird would poop on my head, I would be pretty. They shouted “yuck” when I walked past. And when I touched them they fell back. For this they would say that they would have to be disinfected. My so-called friends always watched. Laughed. They ignored me.

So I started to pull me back into myself. I lost confidence in the people. So I created my own world where I felt safe. They quickly realized. They spread, that I had depression. They spoke also of illnesses. And that was the point where I gave up everything.

I had no friends. The teacher looked away. And the bullying was getting worse.

I felt dead. Unintentionally. Hated. Unloved. I saw myself as a monster. I tried to kill me. The first time had not worked. Although it had left its traces. I tried it a few times. I gave up. It did not work. So I started something else. I started listening to them. If they had problems, they always came to me. And after I had helped them, they gave me a small smile. But that was about it. They bullied me further. Until the day where I was beaten.

I had not defended myself. I said to myself “It’s okay. It will soon be over.”

I went to high school. It was most of the time quiet. But when I once wore an unusual T-shirt, they started the same again. Phantom or ghost of the school they called me.

But a teacher stood in front of me. I will never forget. If we had to work in groups, he had allowed me to work alone. I had him however only once a week. As long as he was not there, they would continue.

Now I have finished school. But I have no friends. But then I think to myself, it’s better without. I like my peace.


10 thoughts on “Their Taunts and Insults (A Personal Story)

  1. your story touched me and my best friend we almost cried to the fact what they said to you and what they did toyou when i was kid i was a bully victim. your story inspired me not to give up on life.

  2. your story touched me and my best friend we almost cried to the fact what they said to you and what they did to you when i was kid i was a bully victim. your story inspired me not to give up on life.XD

  3. You must be an incredible sexy girl, that’s why women hate you. But I don’t understand why those people hate you so much! Be brave, and confident, if anyone beat you, beat back immediately. Then they will learn their lesson!

  4. As you build on the courage needed to publish your story here, you can tell and write more about what happened to you in your school. The more you write and speak, the more friends you will find. Most states now have anti-bullying laws which mandate programs in schools to prevent the kind of abuse you endured. If these laws don’t exist or aren’t enforced in your state, your story and others like it will build pressure for change. Do not give up; you have taken the most important first step!

  5. I want to thank you all. Your words have given me much strength.
    Lamar, thank you for your book tip. I will read it. I promise.
    Zyaire, thank you, too. I’m very sorry. I did not want you crying. But I am happy to inspired you not to give up on life.
    strongeryy, thank you for your words. This is the first time that I am called sexy from an other person. I smiled when I read all this. Thank you so much.
    Dave Crowley, also many thanks to you. Your words hit me deep. I’ll take to heart.

    • Melanie – Your story is so important, because you share the words and the truly devastating affect it had on you. You can see from just the feedback that you are not and were never alone. Publishing here gives you a community of people that care about you. Never forget that and you will find that time can heal if you let it.

  6. Melanie, your story is truely heartbreaking and one of the worst cases of verbal bulling I’ve heard. In my COOL COMBACKS section of the blog, I offer disarming responses for this sort of relentless bashing. Sometimes standard one-liners help, like…
    ~ I wonder why you’re trying so hard to upset me.
    ~ Hmmm….You say that like it’s a bad thing.
    Instead of withdrawing into hurt silence, people feel more empowered without being aggressive. Even imagining what you could have said in the past may help.

  7. Sorry for the 15 day late reply, but i have discovered this site only 2-3 days ago. I’m a boy, only 1 year younger than you are, and I have been bullied in a similar way, although not as much as you.
    Firstly, I would like to congratulate you for having the courage to post your story on the internet using your real name. You made the first (and most important) step to stop people bullying you.
    Secondly, I would like to give you some tips based on personal experience (on what little experience a 16 year old could have). I understood that at some point, you helped the people that bullied you and they would come at you seeking help/advice. After that they kept taunting you as if you hadn’t helped them at all.
    Something similar happened to me too, I have good grades and the other pupils would come at me asking for help with homework etc. I noticed that the more I to helped them, the more they picked me on. One day I decided to stop helping them. Every time they asked for help I would reply with something like, “No, I don’t know how to do that exercise.” or I would simply avoid them. Little by little I became braver and every time they asked me for help, I would tell them that I didn’t want to, because he was one of my bullies. So most of my bullies stopped picking me on.
    The point is, don’t help your bullies, unless they have stopped bullying you for a lot of time. Even in this case, don’t trust them.
    The part where you were beaten upset and angered me. To avoid fights and to defend yourself in case you can’t avoid it, learning a martial art, like muay thai, krav-maga or taekwondo would be a smart thing to do. It has also been scientifically proven that taking a martial arts class raises your confidence. If there are no such classes near the place where you live, you can still use a book or the internet. It can’t teach you the advanced things, but you can still learn most of the basics.
    And lastly speak up! Don’t be afraid to make a scene. When the taunting starts, you can use some of the COOL COMEBACKS, I personally find them effective and even somewhat amusing.

    Sorry for the extremely long comment, and sorry if i have made grammatical mistakes, as English is not my native language

  8. Pingback: Hard to Leave It Behind Me (A Personal Story) « Bullying Stories

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