I Am Weird (A Personal Story)

One of those weird kids. That’s what the author of this story says about himself. Who told him that? What makes him weird to himself. The judgement of what is normal is one of the bigger issues in bullying. If we were all “normal” then the world would be less interesting. Seen pictures of Albert Einstein? Does he look “normal”. I could go on, but if you look at those that are break-out successful change-makers, I’d say few are “normal” by conventional standards. So for this author, I say hang on, because you might just be a change-maker. ~Alan Eisenberg

So all you see on the tv about bullying is beating kids up, shoving them in a locker, and stealing from them. Well from my experiences none of that is true.

My story all started way back in the 4th grade. I was one of those weird kids. I was ok with that at first. I didn’t really notice when the kids made fun of me for imagining I was a superhero. Then I realized when it became a dare to kiss me. Yup that weird that no one would even touch me let alone kiss me. I cried because who I though was my best friend came up with the dare.

I eventually got over it and moved on. Then the new bully rose up to control my 5th grade class. I was so gullible and he told me that the kingdom hearts books were read from back to front because they were Asian. Looking back now I remember why he laughed each time I opened the book the wrong way. Later he pinned me against my best friend saying he was spreading rumors that I liked so and so. It was stupid but I was 10. So I lost my best friend.

Later in 6th grade he stole more of my friends and spread this huge like that I was gay and admitted to liking him. I was teased and when I tried to say that I wasn’t they never listened. I went home crying at least once a week. Then a gift from above came; we moved.

Now in this new state I was new! But the lies followed. I was smaller than all these 7th graders who had al already hit puberty. Soon people were making fun of my name because it can be shortened but I go with the long version. I like my name long it makes me feel special. Anyways the made fun of that, my ugly haircut, my cheap clothes, me being smart, my purity, the fact I’ve never had a girlfriend, and a whole lot more. Eventually I though hey look high school is a few weeks away. A fresh start. I was wrong.

My new best friend turned on me and spread a lie about being bipolar and mentally unstable. So I cut the cord and moved on. Soon I got chubby Because food was the only thing I could turn to. The fat jokes started and a new bully emerged. He stalked me on Facebook and tagged my photos with the word boob and other stuff. I blocked him but he went on in real life. Eventually he moved away and I went into the 10th grade. Everything got worse.

I added about 5 friend and with that comes 5 bullies. My friend made fun of me not doing something they think as popular. So I lost 3. The girl I had a crush on stopped talking to me. And later my only friend was this one girl who talked to me and made me feel like I should still be alive. The bullies though were in all of my classes. No escape.

My teachers never stop them even when they heard it going on. They just watched and saw my self-esteem lower. My self-esteem was generally at 1%. Suicide was always on my mind. I tried my parents but they just though I was a wimp for not sticking up for my self. I declared myself depressed and stopped eating in hopes of loosing weight.

My story ends there because we have caught up with the present. I am on spring break and dread going back for fear of more judgement. Help…

~A Lost Loser

14 thoughts on “I Am Weird (A Personal Story)

  1. Sorry to say you are feeling all the things that go along with bullying. I was that kid in school and now my kids are that kid in school. I don’t know how to tell you to ge through it other then you are nspecial and you are the bigger person in all of this. Don’t let them control you and remember that when you graduate they will not amount to much and yet know you will go on and become the person you are meant to be and you will succeed in life and forget those llosers that you go to school with

  2. Hey you sound like you are in a pretty bad position, but don’t give up. I was also bullied when I was younger but it eventually got better. I turned to God. The best way to deal with your problems is to turn to Jesus Christ and lay all your problems at his feet. When you confess everything to him he will always be with you and even when it seems like everyone else has left you alone; he will always be with you. I will pray for you and you pray too. God Bless you and I pray that you find your way.

  3. if i was there, i would stand up for you. im in 10th grade also, and i try to stand up for every person i can. i am a girl, myname is brittany, and i have a girlfriend. i get made fun of a lot too… there are always people somewhere willing to stand up for you, and anybody else. _with love_

  4. if your friends turn on you they obviously don’t deserve friends you have to stay strong and remember there are always people who can help you, you just have to find the right people I hope things get better

  5. Stand up for yourself, even if it means confrontation, and you CANNOT waiver. They will NOT respect you until you show ATTITUDE and GUTS. Sit down while you’re alone, and think of the negative things about a couple of them. The next time they talk about you, be ready with your own comebacks. You call them on their own weaknesses. If it’s bad grades, or ugly, spiked hair that makes them look like roosters, or bad acne, horrible breath, or if they seem too perfect, call them on their big egos the size of China and why they can barely get their heads in the door. Tell them to find something better to do with their time, and question why they’re so worried about you? Do NOT go on and on with them for an hour. Make your couple of comments and turn away, shutting them out. If they keep talking, ask them if they care so much to either do something about it, or shut up because their big mouths are just shooting air. You MUST be prepared to fight for yourself if it comes to that, and fight like you mean it.

    When you speak, BELIEVE what you say. Put it all on the line. Get fed up. Anything less and they own you.

    I hate to tell you to do this, but showing strength and toughness is the only way to make them leave you alone. In order for them to stop, they have to see that you will call them on their crap and take it all the way to the mat. Every person I’ve talked to who’s been bullied as a kid OR as an adult has shared that things went better when they stood up to the bullies.

    It doesn’t go away, not even once you become an adult, because when people see you’re weak, they think they can treat you any kind of way. Except as adults, the bullying is different, and you have to be smarter about how you handle people- same psychology, bringing them down to size, but different tactics. Yesterday, I simply ignored one of my colleagues by not answering her while she spoke to me. I looked past her and said nothing, and she got the point- I don’t need her, and my work will get done with or without her- so I would not acknowledge her existence until she improved her attitude. She was so much nicer today.

    So stop walking around scared. WELCOME the opportunity to shut them down. If you have never seen the movie “8 Mile” with Eminem, I suggest you rent it and watch this weekend. Watch how he gets so nervous in the beginning when he’s on the stage that he vomits, and how by the end, he gains the confidence to belittle his main opponent. He accepts his flaws and refuses to let people make him feel bad about them, and he calls his opponents out on their weaknesses.

    I have taken up bullying as my cause, and written a fiction book about a girl who gets bullied and becomes a superhero who ultimately must save the girls who bully her. It will release this fall.

    I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  6. hey call them out on messin with you but please dont sink to their level. I have done research on how the bullied often become bullies in an account to get rid of the anger or redirrect it to someone or something else. I belive you can stand up to them but please do it by telling them that they need to stop, not by trying to tear them down. Yes, hurting them and their egos might make them stop bullying you but it might not stop you from becoming a bully too.

  7. Its hard when someone says stand up for yourself. they donnt know how it feels but your not alone. Also I noticed your a good writer keep writting it takes the pain away mabey one day you will be a poet while those so called ” friends” still work at mc donnlds

  8. I’m in your position as well,but I’m a girl,and I actually AM gay,to put it bluntly.I am the freak,I’m rather tall for my age so I get picked on for that,until one day I snapped and punched a kid who was teasing me,which got me into a HUGE ton of trouble,I got suspended and grounded,so don’t go for Violence,EVER even if you don’t or do have the chance now,If Ignoring doesn’t work,use sarcasm,that is always my defense mechanism,I’m in 10th grade an the year is almost over,I’m not bullied as much any more,I understand if you try,and connot,stand up for yourself,find some TRUE friends,I know that sounds Impossible,I know,I’v been bacstabbed several time by fakes,but it’s possilbe :3 Keep going kid, life DOES get better.

  9. I am sorry to hear that, just because your smart, unique, and better human being people tend to bully you, you know why because they want your knowledge and in the same time their popularity. In my school system we have our class which the teacher comes to, so I am with my classmates all day long. I am good in academics. Whenever someone just starts to bully me with words, I respond more aggressively, if it continues there I will begin to smack him down. After two fights for the same reason, my classmates knew what could happen to them if they bully me so they stopped even highly respected me.

  10. I know someone saying to stick up for yourself isn’t what you want to hear, so I won’t say that. I know how you feel, but instead of havig a bully, i was bullying myself. I was bullied though. I listened to everything they said, I listened so much that i was convinced it was all true. You can’t listen to them, even though its hard. It’s hard to imagine but it all ends. You have to have that friend you trust and you can tell everything to. Having someone with you can help more than you know. Tell your parents, be honest and tell them how serious it is. Suicide is not the way out. You can never come back. You would hurt so many people. People love you. You were born for a reason, you need to find that reason. One day you are going to be so happy. Be strong. Focus on getting good grades and in the end you’ll have a great life.

  11. I was almost exactly like you back since I was 3rd grader. Though the only difference was that I had friends who’s going through the same thing and stick it through.

    I changed myself when I hit high school. The only thing you need is confidence.

    I swear it really does works, it just involves being someone that you are not but still keeping yourself up. Eventually you’ll be the one giving people advices on going though bulllying, and make people realize.

    I guess it’s just a part of letting go of your past or something. I had my best friend died when I was 6th grade and lost one to the bullies 2 years later. I moved 4 times just to be the one that’s always in the bottom.

    I am now half nerd and half easygoing-person. Though I usually avoid people who are popular and bullies, I’m always in good terms with everyone, always helping.

    Maybe I’ll share my story here . . . . . just to give you a bit of inspiration (and i imagined there’s a lot stories here for you that you can relate with)

    And I know other nerds that has stories similar like you

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