I Can’t Go To School (A Personal Story)

Taylor sent me this story of her struggle to go back to school. This is becoming more common among bullying victims and in fact, just recently I was reading about the building of Virtual High Schools by some states in order to accommodate public school for those that can’t get to a school. Taylor shares a very personal side to this story. It is the struggle to want to learn mixed with the struggle to want to go to a school that you feel safe at that many deal with on a daily basis. As seems to be the case, there is no easy answer to that issue. ~Alan Eisenberg

I was bullied from 8th grade to 9th. I say when I was in the 8th grade it wasn’t that bad cause it would only be little words here and there and I didn’t care too much about.

It still got me a little sad and all but, didn’t get to me.But when i got to High School 9th grade that’s when i would drop it and really start to fill the pain a lot.

The first day of school already you would have these girls talking bad saying things to bring me down. So I stayed home for two days. As the year was passing, little words would be said here and there, but then all of a sudden these girls I don’t know come up to me trying to start things saying things. It got so bad.  I was scared going to school and I would always miss a lot of school. When I did I would go late for I wouldn’t be seen by anybody. It was the last day for me when I finally had enough.

It was lunch time and i was in the computer room and we would like to just hang in there with the teacher and do are projects, when these group of girls were saying stuff and then all wanted to jump me. But the teacher saw what was going on so he closed the door and told me to stay in the class room cause they were all waiting for me to come out the door.

So i thank the teacher for realizing what was going and helping me, cause you don’t see teachers helping a student at all. So after lunch was over and everyone was gone he wrote down everything he had seen and sent me to the office and let me tell you that was the last time I’ve been to school. The schools don’t help with bullying they make it keep on going. I went to them and all they said was they would give those girls a talk and when they told me that I left school cause all that does is make a bully more of a bully if you tell them the victim was scared.

So Its been 2 years now I’m 16 I’ve stopped going to school, I fill bad for myself , my parents make me fill bad, that it’s all my fault, that I was just being a baby I should have stayed in school. They don’t understand going to High School now is a lot more harder than their days. There’s allot more drama and people being bullied. But going through all that and still it’s hard because I remember it everyday. I talk to no one.

I tried going back to a high school but I can’t do it.  I’m too scared.  I can’t talk to my parents cause all they say is “shut up your just a (expletive removed) up” and they just bring me down. I can’t say dropping out was all because of the bully’s in my life, because I know it’s not…its mine. But when your all alone and no one to help you, you don’t know what to do at this point.


2 thoughts on “I Can’t Go To School (A Personal Story)

  1. I know this does not help, but first you need to get your high school diploma and then move on to college. Bullies have territory and when they see someone whom may invade their territory, they pick. They don’t want anyone who may be better than they to show their followers that they can actually be a better person. It’s hard to keep a “stiff upper lip”. You might be able to fight one. You can’t fight ten. You can’t fight the world. I have created multiple personalities. I had one for high school because that was what the atmosphere demanded. I had another when I got home and could be myself. I have another for work. People expect you to act a certain way and I am sorry, but that is the way the world is. Being able to acclimate to different environments has been able to help me cope. I write a blog on bullying. http://thetrainrunsnomore.blogspot.com/
    I have also written a book on my experiences called The Train Runs No More. Bullying may not follow you all of your life, but the scars do. It just depends on how you treat the wounds. Don’t allow others to stop you. That’s what they want. Go back to school. Show them that you can become something better than they.

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