No One Did Anything (A Personal Story)


I was sent the below story and poem from Akira, who wrote, as many do when writing their stories, from their heart. It is always hard for me to choose how to edit and show these stories to the widest audience possible so that you can read and share this site. This was one story I debated sharing for many reasons, but mainly because the raw emotion Akira used in telling it includes language that many might not share. While I edited the language, I only masked it, but it is here. For that reason, I suggest this as a PG-13 Post. But I wanted to share Akira’s story and poem, because much like the current movie “Bully” that had ratings problems due to language, you can only edit reality so much. ~Alan Eisenberg


Hello everyone, I decided to share my story and my experience with being bullied. I hope it will help someone…

We all ask our self that same question, what for?

I started to be bullied as a kid in 3rd grade – nine years old.

Why? Because I wa sa different nationality, yes it started that way. Everyone was teasing me for Christmas and rest of holidays. I remember one time in my 4th grade there was some notebook where kids ask bunch of weird stuff for fun. One day I accidentally got that notebook in my hands. There was that question with that answer which opened my eyes. There were like all sort of questions: do you like, and what you think abt N.K., S.P and bunch of other persons, answers was like yas, she is cute, good friend, cool and other kid stuff, but under my name, everyone said NO. Comments were terrible. I was a kid, I didn’t know what that means, why they don’t like me. I was sad, but didn’t understand it too much…

With years they made more and more jokes on my name. And I was more shy with every time. Comments were flying till my 7th grade, than the REAL bullying were started. Every f$@king day I needed to listen and don’t say anything, even I felt like I’m going to explode literally. They constantly called me with all possible bad names, and put me awful adjectives. Thy embarrassed me in front of teachers, all students, whole school. NO ONE DID ANYTHING.

Gym was something terrible for me, because we always needed to be in pairs, and guess who always was left out. In classrooms was terrible too, when some teacher told to anyone to sit by me, whole class would lough, I was subject for laughing self-esteem was unbelievably low. Lowest it can be. Teachers ignored all of this of course, so when someone needed to sit behind me he moved his chair on other side of table. In eight grade it was even they were humiliated me, gossip me, throwing stuffs on me. I was NOTHING. I think in that point I lost my mind, because I remember I talked with my self in frond of school, and I imagined to my self like i live in some ”movie, other world, dream” I cried and prayed every night before sleeping, EVERY. Nothing happened. I started thinking abt drop some bomb or something to punish them, I was so crazy. In my case school wasn’t the only place where I was bully, father was very violent to. He called me names, and i was punished for every little thing. He hit me or slapped me when i get bad mar in school, but he never taught me, or helped me. He was also like that to my sister and mother. I can’t imagine how terrible that period was. I go to school and think what they will do to me now, what should i say when they do. But it never happen I always kept my mouth shut.

I wasn’t talked with no one in school at all. And than i come home in other nightmare and constant fights. Luckily I didn’t make nothing stupid.  Eighth grade finished soon and I finally was free, at least at school. But now high school was question. I hoped I will find someone who is ”quiet” like me. But no, I was alone again, I wasn’t talked with no one. I wasn’t bullied in high school, but I was judged. They gossiped me and talked behind my back. They called me weirdo, stupid, mute and all other stuff,, But nothing in my face. I was so alone that i stopped go to high school in my third grade. I was hide it from my dad. I was kinda cooperative with my mom, she was confused too, and she new how hard I was. My dad thought i go regularly to school. I started use xanax and painkiller so i wouldn’t feel so terrible. There was problems abt school way to much to write right now. But when I got another chance to do my tests in my third grade I would be on pain pills and xanax because of fear, so everything I learned I completely forgot, blocked.

Somehow I managed to finish school. Later I found good friend on Internet, so I kinda started to have social life. But when we went out i always needed drink, because i was to shy.

Now I’m 22 years old. Kinda manage to recover even now I take Xanax regularly and painkillers to lose my self sometimes. I still can’t go on party on some event without drinking, cause I am still with low self-esteem to open my self.

I hope I will soon go to my art academy like I planed.

This is one song I wrote about bullying:

F#@K OFF

I’m sitting in the corner of darkness,

no one’s here, just me so hopeless.

Keeping the sorrow in my head

making bigger confusion from it self.

”Don’t you know it hurt so bad

Didn’t you feel that razorblade

When you decide to become a killer

Destroyer, raper and molester…”

So I’m forcing my self for not to think

I want you to hear,

but my lips are sealed.

F#@k offf…..

I don’t give a f#@k.

I don’t give a f#@k.

You didn’t give a f#@k for my life…

Than get a hell out of here

I wanna disappear…

If you are attention seeker

stupid little kid with no brain

or just some other s#@t instead

don’t bother me anyway…

Even when i run away

far from you and your games…

I can’t see you,

I can’t hear you,

but i feel so lame…

I got hurt from this game…

You think I’m stupid, yeah i think it too.

I was stupid because i wasn’t cry.

I suffer now,

cause i wasn’t screaming for my life.

Because i was so fragile but strong

I thought i could hold it so long…

My way to cope

was God and hope.

But i felt so forsaken,

weird, rejected,guilt…

But must important i was alone

and NOBODY didn’t know….

I don’t give a f#@k.

I don’t give a f$#k.

You didn’t give a f#@k for my life…

Than get a hell out of here

I want you to disappear…

I don’t give a f#@k.

I don’t give a f#@k.

You didn’t give a f#@k for my life…

Than get a hell out of here

Let me live….

I were crying all night

praying, blocking

Looking for miracle

I hiding it , forgetting it

Most of them knowing it

but no one help it…

So it must be my fault.

I became so cold

angry, dispatched,

Are you proud!?

I’ll fight to chase of that fear

And you, get a hell out of here!!!

~Akira

5 thoughts on “No One Did Anything (A Personal Story)

  1. Brah, I’m so here for you. I think I’m gonna put this out to the world. On you know, Youtube. I’ll help you, me amigo.

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