Is He A Bully?

I just read and wanted to share a blog post I found on another site called “I Said, You Said“. This mother of a young boy is dealing with her son being accused of bullying on the first day of summer camp. In fact the victim’s mother took it as far as to call the police in.

What I found interesting is that this mother is seeing it from the perspective of surprise that her son is accused of bullying. In the article, she says:

It seems like you can’t open a newspaper or turn on the TV without reading or hearing a story about bullying. Well, yesterday my son was accused of being a bully, and I’m horrified.

My horror extends to two fronts. One, because I obviously think bullying is awful and don’t think any child should have to suffer through that torment. Secondly, I know my son well and he is no bully. There must be a misunderstanding. I’m sure all parents say that, but I really mean it! There has to be a mix-up.

According to witnesses at the scene, this is what happened: A boy named “John” approached my son and another boy. He wanted to play kickball with them but the game was already in process. “John” then took the ball he was holding in his hands and threw it at the boys. The other boy threw the ball off the field and into a nearby field. “John” took off his baseball hat and began hitting both boys. The boys backed away but “John” continued hitting them. Then, both boys picked up their pool towels and snapped them at “John”. At this point, a camp counselor stepped in and advised the boys to stop and they did.

She goes on to say later, the police arrive to question her son about the incident. It seems the boy is accusing her son of bullying him all school year as well. You can read the full article here. Now I have no idea of the case and truth, but the mother of this boy is surprised about the police being called. I personally think we are going to see more of a trend of police being involved in cases of accused bullying.

Right or wrong, bullying is now heavily in the news and people are trying to pass laws to prevent bullying now. As these new laws are attempting to be passed, it only makes sense that the police will become more involved in bullying incidents.

In the past, the idea of physical contact between kids would be called “Boys Being Boys” was accepted by society as the norm. But I believe those days are over now with a new trend to view physical violence among youth, particularly in bullying situations, as assault, the same as would be the case with adults.

As parents get informed either one way or the other that their children are accused as bullies, I would recommend to them to take it seriously and advise their children of the consequences of even being accused as a bully. I do believe that as laws try to be passed, physical violence between children can and will be prosecuted as assault, if for no other reason then to set precedent for future cases.

6 thoughts on “Is He A Bully?

  1. I absolutely agree that precedents are being set in this regard, and the nine teens who have been charged in Phoebe Prince’s suicide are a perfect example. The DA had to work very hard to even come up with HOW to charge these teens, but she did and others will too.

    In this particular example you use, it is difficult not to wonder if this mother might not be in complete denial; but perhaps she is not.

  2. The thing I find interesting is that the other boy allegedly started the physical assault. Shouldn’t he be charged as well? Isn’t hitting more serious than towel slapping? I’m not following the logic there.

    As for the “boys will be boys,” I have to wonder how much of that is because we live in a society that assumes boys should engage in physical violence.

  3. Pingback: 50 Blog Posts On School Bullying That Every Teacher Should Read

  4. Incidents of teen bullying seem to be escalating, while some may say that bullying has always been present in society and that it only SEEMS to have increased due to the prevalence of videos, cell phones and media coverage. However the viciousness of the attacks and the often fatal ramifications of the bullying are not at all in question. But the ramifications are not just for the target of the bullying but as noted by many posters, the consequences are also those of the bully themselves. Police intervention, school suspensions, guilt, stigma, and the potential financial consequences felt by the entire family.

    Sadly our most vulnerable segment of our society are suffering, children are dying at the hands of their bullies, or by their own hand as a consequence of that bullying. Tragically some of these children/teens bullies are encouraged an egged on by a parent to bully and torment another.

    Children who bully often grow up to be adult bullies. They will bully their spouse, their child; they will bully the elderly or the general population.

    The reason why people bully, children in particular, are many; on December 8th and 9th there is going to be a Conference in Manhattan in New York City hosted by Today’s Child Communications Inc. It will be our Sixth Annual Conference to discuss bullying, gang violence, the use of synthetic drugs, the critically low graduation rates and scholastic achievements of our minority children in particular our black youth as well as other issues that are plaguing our minority children, and stopping them from leading healthy productive lives.

    At this conference there will be over 500 participants, which includes numerous experts, and media personalities all there in an attempt to seek viable solutions to these dire issues. This is a conference for everyone and while the focus is on minority children the fact remains that we are an interconnected community and the SUCCESS or FAILURE of one ultimately affects us all.
    Some of our Conferences Guest will be:
    • U.S. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY);
    • Marc Morial, president of the National Urban League;
    • Ed Lewis, co-founder of Essence Communications;
    • Dr. Adelaide Sanford, former vice chancellor of NYSED’s Board of Regents;
    • Dr. Calvin Butts, pastor of Abyssinian Baptist Church;
    • Dr. Winston Price, former president of the National Medical Association;
    • NYC Deputy Mayor Dennis M. Walcott;
    • Mike Woods, news reporter for New York’s Fox 5 TV;
    • Egypt Sherrod, radio star for New York’s top-rated WBLS FM 107.5
    • Justine Simmons, co-star of MTV’s top-rated Run’s House.

    I encourage anyone who is a concerned individual to attend. For additional information you can go to and to register.

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