As I was looking at other’s posts about the Long-term effects of bullying, I came across Heather’s Blog called “Fixed Air”. Heather and I share much in common in her feelings on the long-term effects of bullying. Besides the fact that we like the same new WordPress design for our sites, we also share the experience of pre-high school bullying and then finding an outlet in acting in High School.
It is always interesting to me how similar the stories and life paths are for people who have bullying experiences in their past. It begs the question about if certain personalities or traits attract bullies to you. Given that actors have to be in tune with the emotional world, it seems to me that a correlation between a person’s emotional sensitivity and bullying may be at play. Heather was brave enough to share her past in being bullied by both girls and boys during her younger years. In her blog entry she writes:
If you’ve been bullied in the past, the feelings of sadness that follow you will sometimes resurface at inopportune moments. I remember a period a few years ago during which a very close friend had decided she no longer wanted to be friends, and I had the comfort of a boyfriend to help me with the pain I was going through. I was receding to thoughts of 8th grade, of utter and complete rejection. However, my ex-boyfriend completely failed to understand why I dwelled on such events. He didn’t get it because he was voted homecoming king and was on the football team. You know, he was one of the types that does the bullying. I tried to explain how it really felt, but he often would tell me “to get over it”. If it were that simple, I would certainly do that, but it’s not. You must understand that when someone is bullied for an extended period, a few assumptions form in their head. You end up expecting everyone will hate you, that you are unworthy of respect or kindness. When you are the victim of a bully, you expect rejection from nearly everyone you meet. Today I am a very social person, but that did not come without years of struggling to overcome the feelings of worthlessness I once felt when I met someone new.
I think that for someone who has experienced bullying, the most important thing to realize is that you are the person who matters most. Spending time alone is not something you should avoid, but embrace.
These are very brave and true words. Heather says many good things in this blog entry and has an honest and personal message to anyone that might also be suffering with long-term bullying issues. Click here to read her full post.