I started this blog/website with the idea of sharing my personal stories about the years that I was bullied in order to both release them from my subconscious and help others who feel that they are alone in their struggle with bullying to know that:
- They are not alone
- There are many of us out there who have shared experiences
- That it can and will get better if you let it and seek help from friends, family, and support groups around you
- That you can turn around these negative times into something that gives you strength as you become an adult
- That we should all work to stop these things from happening in the future
In time, the website has grown to share more news and information about those who are working to help victims of bullying and also bullying stories that are going on in the news today.
While I sometimes think that I have told all my stories, I do find that some come back to me that I haven’t shared. I will continue to share them with you in the hopes that they offer some comfort and knowledge that many others, including myself, have gone through these bad times and come out OK.
You can start to read my personal stories by clicking on one of the links below. That will take you quickly to that story. I will add more to this page as I write a new one. ~Alan Eisenberg
- Story #1: The Dunes (1973) - [Click to Read]
- Story #2: The Sewer (1974) – [Click to Read]
- Story #3: You Killed Jesus (1976) – [Click to Read]
- Story #4: The Wicked Witch (1976) – [Click to Read]
- Story #5: The Wooden Deck (1976) – [Click to Read]
- Story #6: The Rocket Ship (1977) – [Click to Read]
- Story #7: The Long and Winding Road (1977) – [Click to Read]
- Story #8: The Principal (1977) – [Click to Read]
- Story #9: The Friend & The Counselor (1978) – [Click to Read]
- Story #10: The Big Nose & The Black Eye (1979) – [Click to Read]
- Story #11: The Final Stand with Bob (1979) - [Click to Read]
- Story #12: The Long Halloween (1979) – [Click to Read]
- Story #13: Ryan Is My Best Friend & Worst Enemy (1978) – [Click to Read]
- Story #14: Life At Jonas Clarke Middle School (1979) – [Click to Read]
- Story Interstitial: The Importance of a Mentor (1979) – [Click to Read]
- Story #15: The Fight with the Loyal Lieutenant (1979) – [Click to Read]
- Story#16: Me As The Bully (1979) – [Click to Read]
- Story #17: The Weapon – A Decision of Fear (1980) - [Click to Read]
- Story #18: The Art Teacher (1980) – [Click to Read]
- Story #19: The Lost Fight (1981) – [Click to Read]
- Story #20: The New Home (1981) - [Click to Read]
- Story Interstitial: Joan Bedinger, My Mentor (1982) - [Click to Read]
- Story #21: The Best Friend (1984) – [Click to Read]
- Story #22: Cyberbullying Origin: The Telephone - [Click to Read]
- Story #23: The Teacher (1985) – [Click to Read]
- Story#24: The Frat Rat (1987) - [Click to Read]
- Story#25: The Interview (1990) -[Click to Read]
These are my stories, but I also publish stories authored by anyone that wishes to submit their story to me. Many other people have shared their personal stories as well and you can see them all by CLICKING HERE. Please follow these guidelines and standards if you wish to publish your story on this website:
- Your story can be any length you want it to be.
- You should write for a wide range audience from children 10 to adults.
- Do not use foul language or sexual references directly. On this note, I understand and have received letters from people who feel strongly about foul language making a point. I think things can be said strongly without the use and don’t want to limit who can read the site due to it. I have published stories about rape, but asked the author to tone down the direct descriptions. I think it fair to be totally honest in your story, but also allow for it to be read. It doesn’t have to be G-Rated, but I ask that it be accessible to all age groups so it can do the most good.
- No first and last names of bullies or others in your story. First names only are fine.
Please submit your story to me at email address: bullyinglte@gmail.com. Please include how you would like your name to appear (ie – First name only, first and last name, name withheld) and I will post it. If you follow the guidelines above, it will not be edited prior to publication. Thank you.
May 10th, 2010 at 11:48 pm
THE BAD LUCK OF MY BAGPACK
1 day at school 1 of my guy friends Hudson got my bagpack and threw it on the floor. . .i dont know why!!! it was early in the morning,and i had no idea, he came to the basketball court and he said to me ” I tried to steal your bagpack but it was so damn heavy” i remeber his exact words. he wasnt a bully AT ALL. he was a good friend of mine. Until the 1st bell rang andi went infront of my class,i saw a bunch of 8th grader boys (i was in 6th grade wen i happend)around my class room, i ignored them.when i got closer, i saw them around my bagpack. i got closer and i saw the guy taking EVERYTHING out of my bagpack they found personal stuff and they were making fun of it ,i got so mad i punched the guy in the face he fell down.i got my stuff and i came in the corner and i started crying my eyes out, my best friend was there with me, she helped me and tried to put my stuff bak in my bag and then they friend after my other guy friend john. he was trieng to help me but they were choking him!!!!!! they punched him adn he got beat up cus of me,i felt so bad
:( that day i was crying the entire school. . . all of the students were around me and were comforting me. . . when i got home i told my mom everything and she got mad . . . but later on i felt better . . . what happend to hudson? he came and apologized to me. . . what was supposed to say im sure he didnt mean it. . . so i said its ok . . . the 8th greader boys got suspended oh yea becaouse EVERYTHING WAS CAUGHT ON CAMERA i was saved phew
-sabrina
November 28th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
i am so sorry and that is good that they were caught on camera!!!!!!!!!
March 6th, 2012 at 5:24 pm
i just dont understand why people turn something that was a joke into something so mean and hateful!!!!!!!!!#hateful people#
May 22nd, 2010 at 12:51 am
Every day im told that 7th grade is when people are finding there place and all those things that we are told all the time. Still it was the worst year of my life. I had freinds at the begining of the year at first but then turned out to make fun of me and make me feel like crap inside I always try to ignore it but everytime it happens it kills me a little more. This happens constantly people singleing me out becuase i dont do what they do and im told im weird (im not really weird with the clothes and all its just what they call me) and it always happens at least 3 times a week. Getting betrayed by formor freinds. In fact I played baseball with a travel BB team that i knew some guys on i played a weekend tournament with them and when i came to school Tuesday with the jersey on three of the guys had made a plan to make fun of me all day. I just dont see how someone can be so cruel and to make it worse i have a super populer cousin and he just makes it worse in that case like when i give a day to sit with him i have to sufer through the ridicule just to talk to him.
May 22nd, 2010 at 9:00 am
I’m sorry this has happened to you, Bill. 7th grade was a hard time for me as well, as you can see from this website. I hope that you have someone you can talk to, either your parents, a school counselor you trust, or someone else. Remember that you are not alone and that many of us deal with bullying issues and can help you. Thank you for sharing though.
June 2nd, 2010 at 3:10 pm
That’s what they told me Bill. 7th grade was h*$^ for me. I was betrayed by my best friend of 7 years and basically by all of my friends at some point, everyday I was taunted/touched/pushed from the beginning of the day (even during class in front of the teachers) from the end, my once close friends spread nasty rumors about me, my clothes were constantly stolen, I was laughed at and glared it. This lasted almost 8 months until I finally broke down. I don’t expect people to believe me because some of the things that happened to me were so abnormal and cruel…
June 2nd, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Nothing you wrote seems unbelievable, Keeks. 7th grade was by far the worst year for me as well. I share those stories here in the blog. 7th Grade stories start above at: “Ryan Is My Best Friend and Worst Enemy” and end at “The Weapon: A Decision of Fear”. It was a very harsh year for me and one that I won’t soon forget.
But that is part of life and was certainly part of my life. I could have let it drag me under, but made an effort to rise above it. There is nothing fortunate about the cruelty others show, though and I am sorry you have had to go through what you have.
I hope you know that you are not alone in what you went through. There are many of us who have had the similar hard times with bullies.
February 11th, 2012 at 8:14 am
u should try to not listen to them and say something nice to them and then they r going to be like wat in their head i just said something mean to u and u said something nice to me try thatthats what my teacher told me try it and if it still go on try it agin keep being nice to them u will fing a spot at ounce
it will take time u have to belive in your self belive in your self
May 3rd, 2012 at 9:34 am
I believe. i believe everyword you say because that stuff happened to me to it was horrible i didn’t what to say or do. it was h&^$ breaking loose on me. i was also sexually abused so your not alone.
April 11th, 2011 at 4:26 pm
I know how you feel it’s not fun to be outcasted like that. And if your former friends just ditched you. They were never really your friends. You will someday make friends that will last a lifetime. Maybe these people are just at that immature state in their life right now. Best wishes to you!
February 11th, 2012 at 8:24 am
i ounce got bullyed they use to call me names and every time i walk by they would laugh at me some of my friends too they would tell me what to wear or u should dress like this but u know what i would say i would say i like the way i dress what about u and they would say okk i ounce bullyed a kid and kids i did in the but know i regert what i did in the past just dont say anything when they say something about u i know its hard to dont say anything when they talk about u just dont thanks
June 14th, 2010 at 3:23 am
Hello, i was wondering if i could use these articles to help us present an anti-bullying scheme in my school.
Thank you
Lana
June 14th, 2010 at 8:40 am
You most certainly can. As usual, please credit where you find your sources (ie this blog) if doing an article for schoolwork.
February 11th, 2012 at 8:27 am
yes i was thinking about that we have a bullying thing at school its a project im going to talk to people and ask them questiionds like have theyever got bullyed or have they seen people get bulldey stuff like that
August 9th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
[...] Personal Stories [...]
September 18th, 2010 at 2:50 am
When I was in high school I was bullied. I was tormented by a group of classmates from 9th. grade until I graduated from high school. I was born with a physical disability.
They would call me names, put thumb tacks on my chair (we had assigned seats in every classroom, so they knew where I sat), they got my home phone number and would give me prank calls. One day I got to my locker and they had previously watched me and got my combination on my locker. They got into my locker (fortunately I had not left anything in it the night before). The lock was similar to a pad lock. They turned it around and locked it so I would have to do the combination upside down and backwards. That wasn’t good enough for them, they wrapped the lock with what seemed to be an entire roll of masking tape.
They would cause trouble in class and make it look like I was the one causing the trouble. They would try to distract me while taking tests.
The school faculty, principal, etc. were made aware of this by me and my parents. The school did absolutely nothing about it!
One teacher would always call me out because he always thought I hadn’t done my homework. I was probably one of the few students in his class who did do their homework. By doing this, it just gave the bullys more ammunition.
This has affected my life since. I have run into similar types of people in my life since high school. I cannot hold down a job any longer because of these experiences. This happened over 25 years ago.
I had friends from grade school who turned their backs on me when we got to high school and this started happening. I guess they thought if they defended me, these kids would start bullying them.
Today, I have no friends, only my parents and siblings. I have a miserable life because of the way I was treated in high school and since then. I have no confidence in myself, no self esteem and I am always worried that whenever I try to do something, another bully will surface.
I have tried counseling, but the counselors just try to turn everything around and try to tell me that it’s my fault that all of this happened. So, I quit going to any counseling. I don’t need a counselor who is going to try to tell me that the bullying I experienced is my fault. I do not believe this and I never will.
September 20th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
No wonder why it always happens. The truth is that most bullies come from dysfunctional/abusive families or they think they’re smarter than those who are intellectually different. When I went to high school, I was nervous, scared and anxious. Every day I worried about it and thought, “I wish I could go back to grade school.” That happens to everybody, it’s normal. I also thought I would never make new friends. I have trouble making friends myself.
I have LD and as the first days of high school went by, I saw my classmates making new friends or hanging out with their old friends and there was me all alone with no friends. I wanted to make new friends but I didn’t know how. One day when I was in learning strategies class, we were told to introduce each other and I was shy to do that and happened that I met and briefly befriended a girl from a Middle Eastern country. I was also briefly friends with a couple of girls from the Philippines and two other who were both white, one was Italian, whose last name means “fire” and may be the root cause of people repeatedly shouting out that word in front of me or just to bug me or they’re obssessed with fire, well this might be disputed.
There was a time when I was asked by the same Italian girl if I wanted to go out with the Middle Eastern girl as friends. She rejected it. I’m not sure why but I think it was because I was different from my classmates. I suspect that maybe she was using me as her friend and pretending to be friends with me. This also happened with the Filipinas. I felt that either they rejected me because I was different or they prefer to befriend popular people. I was unpopular. I thought, “Are they using me as their friend and later dump me?” or “Are they’re trying to pressure me to do terrible things that most teenagers do and regret later; smoke, do drugs, drink, skip home to join parties and go out at night?” I suspect that they did it to me. I thought they were my friends but no, it turned out that they weren’t really my friends after all. They used me! How dare they! It’s not nice to use someone as your friend and later dump him/her and pretend to be your friends but they’re not. I sense that popular people do that all the time to those who are not.
There was an incident in Religion class where three girls asked me to say curse words. I was shocked and hurt by this. Swearing is unacceptable in public places. Why don’t people say polite words like “oh my gosh” or “darn it”? Maybe they’re too lazy to say them or they thought there are no other words to express. Anyway I was deeply hurt when I was used as a friend. I was alone with nobody to talk to. That hurts. I have difficulty joining in any clique. High school can be tough sometimes, especially when teenagers naturally want to fit in, just like kids. What some may or may not realize that the cliques they join in pressure them to take advantage of other people. Some are lead to bully the weaker ones. Most popular kids are bullies and come from rich and sometimes dysfunctional families. Some join in, others are rejected. I knew I did not want to be friends with those kind of people. I prefer to wait and see if others want to be friends with me.
I became lonely and depressed. As one year went by, I matured earlier than most teens. I was annoyed by those who act like 6 and 7 year olds. I thought they don’t like those who are more mature thatn them. That may be true. The cruel teasing begins and I was repeatedly called “fire” in the hallways. As mentioned earlier, a dispute that was the root cause of me being “friends” with the girl with the last name “fire”, the obsession with fire and might have thought of threatening to set me on fire, just to irritate me or I was different from my classmates. I hated school more than I hate winter. I wanted to get and as I was told, “You won’t be there forever. It’s only four years.”
As the bullying went on, I fell into depression and became suicidal nearing grade 10. I had a little bit of a breakdown. By the time I went into grade 10, it got worse. In art class there was an incident where a girl who is half German and other race I’m not sure kept saying fire is sexy and this irritated me and started to throw water at her and others who were watching. They were enjoying the scene of me having a breakdown. I walked away from class screaming and crying for help. I couldn’t believe the trauma I was caught with. That girl pretended to be my friend when all of a sudden she turned out to be mean. She liked to say fire to get attention. The verbal bullying got worse and worse. It traumatized me so much I wanted to kill myself to escape the nightmare.
I began to grow bitter, scared and depressed as grade 10 went by. I was so scared that I felt like vomiting or cutting myself. I had suicidal thoughts and I decided that if I felt scared, I rather hang myself or cut my throat. I remember the day a group of cruel teens teased me as I enter the schoolbus on the way home and got mad and shouted back. I came home crying after the bus driver dropped off a kid with autism home with his mother waiting.
The taunting went by and more horrible than ever. I was terribly bruised by those cruel people. I had no friends through the half of high school. I behaved erratically and got so severely bitter. The brutal taunting left me depressed and I had difficulty recognizing that there are some people who try to be nice to me or help me. I cried each night before I fell asleep. I had a recurring depression as well as suicidal thoughts. The bullying continued until the end of grade 12.
High school was the worst part in my life. The heartless people, the bullies and the ignorant people. I’m glad this is over but I’m still bitter and depressed. I hated everybody there! They made my life miserable. I’m left with no friends and no happiness. I’m worried that I might remain friendless and miserable for the rest of my life. Deep in my heart, I longed for friendships. I still don’t recognize those who try to help me and I felt like I was hiding from the world. The cold feeling I once had, but I can never get over my bitterness. Cold as a stone I am today. I hope the bitterest foes don’t try to tear me down leaving blood stains. I bitter I am, the colder I get. If I happened to look at my yearbook or look at my school, it would haunt me. I’m almost getting close to the journey of my new life. To the end of high school I dived for joy. Never will I be alright. Always holding on to God’s hand whenever obstacles come by. I’m alright and will always be.
March 17th, 2011 at 10:09 am
THATS SAD i JUST CRiED i USED TO BE A ViCTiM BUT i STAND UP i HAVE STARTED A NON BULLYiNG THiNG i GUESS YU COULD SAY EMAiL ME =)
October 10th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
my son codys been bullied since the age of 12 by his own teachers and student hes been beatburned and totured today he is 16 years old we parents teachers student princapals can make a difference it i think starts with the parents tell your child not to bully but if he or shr sees abulling situation tell someone or try to help by stoping it
October 21st, 2010 at 7:09 am
[...] Personal Stories [...]
October 23rd, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Adult Bullying–What we can learn from the Wicked Witch of the West
“I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!” These infamous words spoken by a perennial bully originate from the iconic movie, The Wizard of Oz. This classical villain is commonly known as The Wicked Witch of the West in the “Land of Oz.” Her other alias is that of Ms. Almira Gulch when in Kansas. In honor of the recent mass initiative spearheaded by Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Phil McGraw and others rallying to end cyber-bullying and other forms of bullying found in younger circles, I thought that I would discuss the subject of adult bullying. It is often assumed that bullying only applies to that big imposing ‘mean-guy’ on the school playground or the petty ‘mean-girl’ middle/high-school locker scene. Not true. Mean girls and mean boys do grow up, perhaps not psychologically, but physically, and often tote their destructive behaviors into adulthood unless they own, deal with, and ultimately change their pathological patterns. Bullying can be found in adult circles where it often manifests itself in more covert ways as adults are able to cower behind authoritative titles in the workplace, in churches, families and other various social organizations. I vividly recall a young boy who relentlessly teased me in Kindergarden and went so far as to squeeze a wad of bubble gum into one of my neat ribboned braids. The gum came out with the help of peanut butter and, while initially upsetting, it served to instill character. In fact, I am thankful to that boy for his relatively minor attack on my braids as it helped me more easily and readily identify childlike immature bullyish behavior. Decades later I would find that this insight and building of character would pay off in effectively managing several bullying attacks from a female thirty-something-adult-serial-bully. There are times when we may need to revert back to the archives of childhood in referencing and understanding abusive playground dynamics in order to identify and make sense of abusive behaviors in the realm of adulthood. No, we cannot involve a school principal. What we can do is involve other resources that might include human resource departments/supervisors (workplace bullying), law enforcement, attorneys for legal recourse, and the court system if need be. These agencies are usually the suggested routes for apprehending adult bullies and personally disengaging from them and their destructive, harassing behavior.
Apart from those measures, we can turn to entertainment. Much insight into bullying behaviors can be obtained by simply sitting back with a bowl of popcorn and watching an old classic, The Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy navigates the Yellow Brick Road with the protection of her charmed sparkling ruby red slippers. The Wicked Witch of the West is relentless in her attempts at bullying Dorothy. It all begins in Kansas as Ms. Almira Gulch, the alter-ego of the Wicked Witch of the West steals Toto, Dorothy’s beloved puppy, and threatens to destroy him. Fortunately, Toto escapes her clutches. Dorothy realizes that something must be done. She runs away and desperately consults a fortune teller known as ”Professor Marvel,’ for guidance. Like Professor Marvel, people can help, they can lend a hearing ear and empathize and understand, but victims are quite often on their own in combating bullying, as was Dorothy. The abuse from Ms. Gulch perpetually terrorized and haunted Dorothy in her dreams and assailed her into other dimensions known as “Munchkinland” and “Oz” where Ms. Gulch morphed into the Wicked Witch of the West and resurfaceed in a cloud of flaming orange smoke hunched over and wielding a broomstick. While the Munchkins resorted to retreating and hiding, Dorothy was left to deal with this Witch who tauntingly demanded that Dorothy give her the ruby red slippers. Fortunately, Glenda, The “Good Witch” of the North, appeared in Dorothy’s defense as a protective and maternal vision of truth, purity and light. She managed to banish the green-faced villain with a few choice words: “You have no power here! Begone, before somebody drops a house on you, too!” The viewer is usually quite relieved! She reprimands her firmly, wisely, and gracefully while maintaining her composure. She effortlessly diminishes the presence of this bully who then disappears in her menacing cloud of orange smoke. With a deft flick of her wand, Glenda magically transports the ruby red slippers onto Dorothy’s feet, gives her a pep talk and a course of action which would involve following a yellow brick road. She invites the munchkins to come back out in her musical voice, and then, just as quickly fades away leaving Dorothy on her own to wield her battle, but not without the empowerment of a pair of lovely sparkling ruby slippers.
Bullies usually manage to terrorize others in the periphery of their victims, who, sadly, oftentimes cower and hide as did the Munchkins. It is vital for bystanders or witnesses of bullying to refuse to enable the bullying by speaking out and standing up, even if doing so is awkward or uncomfortable. One of Dorothy’s friends, the ‘Cowardly Lion’, is an example of a bully and a coward who eventually owns his bad behavior and works to make the necessary changes to gain the courage and the self-confidence to change his bullying ways. He is a testament that a bully can recover from their pathology. He was, of course, not much help to Dorothy when she most needed it, but nonetheless this Lion should be applauded for eventually overcoming his handicap of bullying and cowardice. Blessed by a bit of serendipity and armed with the acquisition of a support system along the path to the Emerald City, Dorothy managed to fend off occasional attacks which would include apples being thrown at herself and her friends by imposing bullying trees. It is interesting to note that the trees took issue with having their apples picked by Dorothy’s tribe. Obviously, they felt bullied and attacked. Dorothy apologized and acknowledged their offense. This highlights a difference in character between Dorothy and the Wicked Witch. The Wicked Witch never owned her actions and she never apologized. She constantly evaded accountability and, instead, plotted new ways to harass Dorothy and her friends including lighting an innocent scarecrow on fire! She enlisted her army of flying henchman monkeys to help carry out her dirty deeds. She schemed and concocted a potion to cause Dorothy and her friends to be lured into a beautiful field of poppies only to be poisoned and fall unconscious. She maliciously cackled and attained great glee in imposing suffering. She rode her broomstick and, in the classical form of a bully, ordered Dorothy to “surrender” in a message of black smoke etched in the sky. Eventually, the bullying came to an end. Interestingly enough, her minions were relieved and grateful at the end of their enslavement after she pathetically disintegrated into a puddle of non-existence. They then realized that they too were victims of her bullying. They were the very ones to hail Dorothy and strike up the band celebrating their liberation from their cackling green-faced Master’s reign of terror.
When being bullied, harassed, or slandered by a villainous person be they adult or child, I highly recommend sitting down to watch The Wizard of Oz as well as taking any other appropriate defensive action through the aforementioned agencies. We are not living in the Land of Oz, so these bullies are not likely to melt into puddles of nothingness, but they can be apprehended and managed. It is all too easy to become hurt and offended by their attacks or worse yet to absorb or internalize their attacks. The key to disengaging and rising above their vitriolic behaviors is to gain insight into their malicious acts, and become objective in realizing that they are driven by personal fear, anger and insecurity. These factors define their misery as do their abusive projections onto their victims. This understanding and insight alone can be enough to serve as one’s personal virtual bucket of water that worked to extinguish Oz’s inflammatory Wicked Witch and her insane bullying behavior.
Author: Nicole Maendel
October 23rd, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Thank you, Nicole, for writing such a thoughtful and thought provoking piece for this site.
November 11th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
You are very welcome:)
October 24th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
And I began to hate myself! I felt that if I’m hated, belittled and teased, I planned a sex change as well as lighten my skin so nobody will know I was once a loser!
October 25th, 2010 at 9:35 am
Hi. My latest post on my blog tells the story (true) of a bullying incident I suffered through in high school. Please read at porcinedrone.wordpress.com. Thanks. it was very painful to recall in detail. Thanks. It’s called “I’m Jackin’ Beats”. All my titles are misleading.
October 29th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
I want to tell you about something that happened just a few days ago that gave me a glimpse into what it might feel like for a young person to be bullied because of a physical appearance that is outside the norm. On Monday I found an anonymous, typed note in my mailbox at work. The note informed me of how bad my clothes look on me and that I really need to get some new ones. The tone of the note implied that this person cared about me, and therefore, thought I should know this.
I have no idea who wrote the note, and I don’t know if this person is aware that I am a cancer suvivor. Perhaps they aren’t aware that two surgeries, radiation treatments, and hormone therapy have left me with a body quite different than the cute, petite figure I had a few years ago. Perhaps they don’t know about the challenges I have in finding clothes that will hide the deformities that will be with me for the rest of my life. And they probably don’t understand the financial challenges that come with a cancer diagnosis.
When I read the note, I told myself that as a mature adult, I should just let these cruel comments roll off my back. Instead, I went home and wept. I cried to know that someone thought my appearance was so bad that they felt compelled to leave me this hurtful note. And I cried because the note was a reminder of the losses and changes that I’ve seen in my life since cancer moved in.
But, as in all of life’s experiences, there was a lesson here. If I, as a 50 year-old woman, could be bothered so much by an anonymous note, then I thought about how a fragile teenager might feel when exposed to hurtful comments, especially when they happen repeatedly.
Please feel free to share this in any way you like if it will help people understand the need to consider the potential impact before sharing hurtful opinions with others.
October 29th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Your hurt in your words and feelings you wrote come out. I talk a lot about the need for Empathy and to try to understand others before you act (such as writing that note). Sometimes, when we see someone, we make many assumptions without realizing or learning. Empathy is all about understanding without experience. When you wrote this, I felt that empathy was the one thing this person is missing. I would like to share this as a post and will. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and talking of the hurt. My sister is currently going through final treatments for Breast Cancer. I know that she does not currently look like the sister I recall before the cancer. It hurts me as I know it hurts her and I work to give her my empathy and understanding. Others must learn from this as well and your words are very important.
November 28th, 2010 at 2:39 pm
I was a kid who was very shy & therefore an easy target for bullying. But secretly i got my revenge.
I stole a coat from one bullys locker in the middle of a snow storm. I called ones mom (pretended in my puberty voice) & told her he was skipping gym (which he was) & made an appt w/ her to come in & speak w/ the principle. I stole this fat bully term paper which made him almost flunk the course. I changed grades on bullies in teachers grade books….
The point here is be creative & GET EVEN! These dumb asses never suspected me cuz i was sooo shy & timid.
December 1st, 2010 at 10:24 pm
I noticed some similarities to some of the stories.
I read a few where it started in 7th grade and friends in grade school were no longer really friends once 7th grade started. This is the same for me.
I hated 7th grade and on. My life in school was pretty much go to school and come home. I didn’t hang out with any group or click. I was my own person, shy, quiet. I think thats’ what made me an easy target as well. I didn’t really have any friends. I got along with many in school but I knew that I wasn’t good enough for them. I remember sitting at this table during lunch time. One student told me “why you sitting at this table with us” I wasn’t wanted. I never really ate lunch at school after that. I never liked going to gym class when it was time for swimming cause I didn’t know how. I was threatened by a few that they would dunk my head under water if I didn’t stick my head under. One of the students that threatened me told me something that I’ll never forget. During homeroom he looked at me and said “I bet you will be one of those people that will end up becomong a child molester” How does someone respond to that? I said nothing.
From reading some of the stories, it seamed that some had it much worse than me but high school was still pretty rough for me. It did effect me later in life. I struggled making friends even after school. I struggled with my self esteem which led problems dealing with women. Of coarse what man doesn’t have problems dealing with women? Lol! I trully believe that most of my family doesn’t understand me and probably never will. There is only person that understands me. That person is someone I met 5 years ago, my wife. She is the best friend I ever had and the only one that gave me a chance to get to know me. I will always love her for that.
December 2nd, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Thank you for this. I was bullied, borderline sexually harassed, by classmates (they were anything but mates). Teachers and other students were complicit.I felt I could not turn to my family or school teachers. Home life was no picnic, either. I had everything I needed, food/materially/education-wise, but my parents had a horrifically toxic relationship which stunted my intimacy with either one.
Bullying scarred me tremendously. The sense of insecurity and lack of self confidence negatively impacted me in my 20s and to an extent, today. I cannot explain the dread and stomach pain I experienced every morning while in high school. I didn’t dare show my face in the lunch area at lunch time. I just darted to the library to be safe.
I have advanced degrees and am comfortable, for the most part, in my skin and happy with my life and marriage as I near 40, but one thing remains true:
To this day, I shudder at the prospect of meeting certain individuals and have avoided contact with all classmates. I just sense that even as adults, they would still taunt and bully me in such a setting.
I have worked so hard to get away from these people that the thought of having the last 20 years of my life undone with a single taunt horrifies me.
That’s one of the reasons I am not on Facebook: I want my past to stay exactly there-in the past.
Thank you so, so much for bringing light to this. I thought I was the only one who couldn’t overcome such a horrific experience.
The problem is school staff frequently don’t act. Why can’t criminal charges be pressed against perpetrators?
Silvia JD
December 20th, 2010 at 7:15 am
As you can see from this website and other comments, Silvia, you are most certainly not alone. There are many people who feel the same as you and they have been kind enough to share here and open up the conversation and issue of the long-term effects of bullying. As for criminal charges, the biggest problem today is that the laws have not necessarily been created for bullying issues.
December 19th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
I’m nearly 30 years old and find myself thinking that it is time to let go and forget school, but even now it seems to be able to cast a shadow over my entire life.
If I’m placed in or find myself in a social situation where a group of people has formed, I am terrified. I feel open to attack even when there is no danger of any. I find Personal relationships extremely difficult to cope with as a result also.
Yes the bullies have gone, but I now find myself left with the after effects, which, when I think back to leaving school never occured to me that as an adult would still haunt me to this day.
Evan as an adult though, I have found myself at the centre of homophobic taunts and insults which have lead to physical attacks.
December 20th, 2010 at 7:13 am
This seems to be very common, Ben, and you are certainly not alone. For me, I even found that for years I had thought it behind me, but as I realized more about my own personality and quirks, I could see the tie to what happened to me during my “bullying” years. Thanks for sharing.
March 17th, 2011 at 10:12 am
iM SORRY SOME PEOPLE ARE CRUEL =( EMAiL ME I HAVE SOME STORIES khadejah.bradley@stu.warren.kyschools.us
December 20th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Thankyou for your comment. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in feeling this.
I think, the worst part of all, is that I turned against myself at some point as well. My mum and dad paid for me to see a counsellor when I was 18 – it didn’t really work and as we lived in the same area as the people I went to school with the taunts carried on well into my mid-twenties.
I seem to have fallen more of a victim to my own self hate rather than to any lingering comments and names that I have been called.
I am currently seeing someone, but suspect that this will end soon because I just dont think he can cope with my over sensitive nature and to be honest I dont think I can blame him. He’s the first person I’ve dated that I can say has treated me with respect but because of school and the events that took place after I find the constant worry of his perception of me exhausting and heart-breaking.
December 28th, 2010 at 10:16 am
I am 34 years old , I gave birth to twins recently. I am chartered accountant and I am married for 10 years old. I am very proud of me . During 10 years, they called names about me , rejected me . I had no friends . In a nutshell , I was a target . I had physical attacks, they told I was lesbian but it was not true. When I was 15 years old , a gang of boys raped me . I could not identify them , I was so afraid but it did not really traumatize me . I had a coordination problem and I struggled with my marks even I failed one year but I got a bachelor degree. Despite of this , I wanted to be 100 years old and It’s still the case today. My secret is to remain positive. It’s really worthy. I don’t care about my bullies .
January 2nd, 2011 at 8:03 am
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March 7th, 2011 at 2:15 am
As a student throughout school, I was different and fortunately never got noticed very often. There is one incident that sticks out to me, occurring in fifth grade where a female member of my class decided to pick on me. The teacher eventually found out and we were separated and it stopped. For this, I was grateful to her, my teacher. Bullying is wrong, especially in school. And it would be a lie if you told me teachers and school workers don’t see it, I know they do and sometimes they do nothing!!! How wrong is this? What fresh hell is this for those who are different, the people we are taught to trust leave us to our own defenses, against the cruelest force on this earth, CHILDREN. Shame on you all!
Schools should have a no-tolerance policy for bullies. In fact, I am shocked that more schools don’t have such policies. I have read through several LBGT sites, merely for research, and have found that most suicides in the LGBT community occur from bullying, something that can be avoided. Please keep our children safe from the horrors of the masses and the cruelty of children, whom anyone can tell you are the cruelest of them all.
MSW
March 9th, 2011 at 3:49 am
Hi my name is Tay
I understande that bulling need to stop but it not .I sould know I have be one I became a monster because people where judging me the way I look and my size ( I ‘m very small for my age ) saying horrable things.
But as I became this thing, I found out what makes up a bully, most adults think they know why bullys act out like this, I can tell you that it because they are scared and feel in caged with emotion with that the only way to act is by telling every one what to do. By tryin to scard bullys it not going to work.
I learnt to come clean with my mistakes it may have taken me a long time but I ‘m tryin to help people understand that DON’T PUSH BULLIES because the more you do the further away the are to go, you need to make them feel safe and loved .
March 15th, 2011 at 6:11 pm
One time in school there was a cute boy so i told my friend to ask him out for me but he didnt really reply he just said nice things about me so i felt really happy so i kept talking to him,but at lunch he said he wanted to talk to me so i though he wuz gonna ask me out……so i told my friend(big mistake!)and she went up to him and said u wanna ask her out and he said no i want to tell her to stop stalking me so he came up to me called me a stuped stalking bitch so i stood there crying and said im sorry but it kept going on and everyone laughed at me. So now i cant go to my locker, go to the halls, or even to my class withought him saying anything. I feel so crushed and now my heart is broken its still going on and i dont know what to do i guess i have to just deal with it.:(
March 23rd, 2011 at 11:01 am
hey abby im sorry that, that happened to you. i have been bullied a lot i have been put in hospital. it was very hard. im soory that you got called a bitch. i wish that i could of been with and could of helped you out. i hope they will stop being so mean.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:25 pm
Im in 9th grade and my best friend is bullied all the time. He gets people constantly making fun of him, pushing him, making plans to jump him, and generally being mean to him. All the guys that do this to him are part of the popular crowd so im legit afriad of them (thats a whole other story) so im too afriad to do anything. (Im also afraid because i just have the feeling some of those guys have no shame hitting a girl..) So i dont know what i can do for him? I feel bad for him because im scared one day they will push him too far. They dont know this but hes actually a sensitive guy, and hes self concsious… It hurts me to see them hurt him like that
April 27th, 2011 at 5:23 pm
there are alot of bullys but you cant let then get to you…….
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Ever since pre-kindergarden, I was picked on in school. The top names I was called were fat ass, geek, and faggot. It confused me to no extent because I’m not even gay, but because I’m feminine and I had a high pitched voice, I was harassed. I didn’t mess with anyone. I just stayed to myself, but that didn’t help at all. They picked on me, took my belongings, ripped my drawings, destroyed my comics, made me the target of any gym game, and broke me down mentally. I told the teachers and the principal of my school but they didn’t do anything. The principal said something once but it didn’t help any. Now I’m a guy with pretty much no emotions. I can’t let anyone in emotionally. I always put up a front but my emotions are either not responding or a hurricane, always jumbled around. I can’t trust a single person because of those 10 years. I’m even extremely shy with my family. Imagine it, saying I love you without meaning it because your afraid to feel it and feel vulnerable.
May 3rd, 2011 at 6:58 am
Your story is only all too familiar. It is a very unfortunate part of being bullied that many of us who have gone through it feel. I myself find I need the acceptance and approval of others to feel good about myself. I have spent almost 30 years trying to improve on that and “get over it”. I hope you find that, just by writing it down and sharing like you have, you have made some progress to recovery.
May 15th, 2011 at 7:18 pm
I was bullied in school because i was shy and quiet and school just got worse for me it got so bad that a lot of times i had no friends. The few i did have either used me or betrayed me in the end i was treated pretty badly so by high school i tried skipping almost everyday. But my family found out i was skipping and tried to make me go but they never knew and still don’t know about what i had to go through in school. It was hell for me mentally but i kept going as much as i could. But i couldn’t take it anymore so i dropped out in 11th grade im only 19 and my life is ruined. I’m trying to get my life back together but idk if ill ever be able to
i cant this anymore…..
October 5th, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Heloo im sorry to hear that but i was wondering if i could use this story for a anti bullying project at school plz i really need i think your story will inspire us to st bullying now
October 5th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
Of course you can, Amber. That is why they are here.
October 6th, 2011 at 2:16 am
Idk if your talking about my story? If you are you can use it if you want…
May 29th, 2011 at 1:11 pm
I know firsthand the trauma of being bullied. My younger brother and I were badly bullied by the same group of bullies for 3 years in the school bus and in school. It happened when I was around 9-12 years old. They picked on my little brother as he was shy and was mildly autistic and nerdy looking too. They constantly beat him up in the bus, put thumbsticks on the bus seat and forced him to sit down and so on. While in school, they’d try to empty his bag and throw it into the dumpster or the girls’ toilet. Being d older sister, I would try to help and defend him, but I’d end up getting dragged by the hair, punched on the nose or face, slapped on the face and hands, kicked etc by these group of mean boys.
I was too afraid to tell anyone about this when it was happening. Whenever I threatened to tell the teachers or my parents, the bullies would threaten to call their older gang members to beat my brother and I up if I were to tell any adult about the bullying.
There was once when I tried to defend myself after being slapped hard by one of the bullies. I retaliated by hitting him hard on the arm. What I didn’t realise was that he just had an injection before that and I hit him right on the spot where he had the injection. He hollered in pain and got so mad that he started hitting me repeatedly on the arms and face and the other boys joined in. Later, he told me to watch out since he’d told his older gang members from another school to come and bash me up after school as ‘punishment’ for hitting him. I remembered crouching and hiding in the girls’ toilet each day after school after that, sobbing in fear. Thank God I had a friend who would come and tell me whenever the school bus came, else I would’ve missed the bus. This went on for more than a week.
My Mom only found out about the bullying three years later. Usually my brother and I would’ve tried to clean ourselves up before we stepped into our home. But that day, the bullies beat my brother up so hard that his nose was too bruised and bloodied, while his shirt collar and pocket was too torn that my Mom suspected. My Mom brought us to each of the bullies’ home and told their parents about the bullying. After that, they stopped bullying us.
But I became very angry, depressed and suicidal after that. I would cry most nights and had so little self esteem that aside from a few close friends and my family members, I was too afraid to talk to anyone. I became so suspicious of everyone and thought they were trying to attack me in some way. Despite this, I tried to make friends and ignored my problems. However, the depression did not get better. In fact, it got worse the older I got to the extend I began using a belt to hit myself or started cutting my arms, stomach, thighs because the pain inside would not go away. This problem went on even untill I graduated from university.
Fortunately, my healing started when my family fasted and prayed for me everyday non-stop for 49 days just before I was about to start work. Miraculously, after that, my depression lifted although a lot of the other negative feelings still needed to be dealt with. Right now, I’ve forgiven all the bullies. I no longer feel any anger when I see them and in fact I feel sorry for some of them as I learned that some of them came from very abusive families whose fathers beat them up almost constantly.
Of course, the depression and negative feelings would occasionally return to haunt me, but it is so much easier for me to not give in to them now. There will still be times when someone would make some innocent comment and I’d overreact by screaming or lashing out in such anger because I thought that he/she was trying to criticise or attack me in some way. This happens often when I’m with my family and it really hurts me when I see myself hurting them this way. What still gives me hope is the fact that I’m on my road to recovery and someday I’ll truly emerge free from all these oppression that has kept me bound for so many years!
June 7th, 2011 at 7:10 am
hi..
i was wondering if i can use one of ur stories for anti-bullying assignment in school..
June 7th, 2011 at 9:27 am
You sure can. I just ask that you credit me and the site when you use the story. Thanks.
June 7th, 2011 at 9:40 am
As a former victim of female bullying, I feel it is my duty to reach out to other girls who are being bullied. After extensive research, I have discovered that my story is not unusual. However, the female bully works through intimidation and bullies her victims into silence. This is why most of her victims are too frightened and ashamed to tell their story. I want the victims of female aggression to realize that THEY ARE NOT ALONE, which is why I must speak out.
Here is my story:
When I was 11, I moved to a small town close to a big city so that I could pursue my dreams of becoming a professional dancer. In grade 7, I went to school in the small town, and took dance classes in the city. The next year, I attended a ballet school in the city, and lived in residence there. Then, at the end of grade 8, I returned to the small town, and decided to attend the grades 9-12 high school there.
The bullying began at the beginning of grade 9, when an extremely popular girl decided to turn on me because I happened to have a date. To seek revenge, she created a fake account on msn, and talked to me through it. At first she was sickly sweet, and she pretended to be my best friend. Much like the crooked politician, she had a talent for deceiving both her peers and adults (in fact, she was later recognized by the teachers for her leadership abilities). One day, she told me to meet her in the bathroom. I listened to her, and low and behold, she was there, accompanied by her followers. I hung out with them, but I noticed that they were very quiet, and they kept looking at each other. Then, they started giggling hysterically. I was very confused by their behavior, and I began to feel self-conscious and insecure. That night, the leader came on msn again. She told me that we WEREN’T FRIENDS ANYMORE, and she HATED ME. Then on the weekend, her best friend went on the computer and began asking who my friends were at school. When I didn’t have an answer, she told me that I had no friends. This nasty treatment was just the beginning of the worst 4 years of my life.
After that incident, I tried to befriend another group of “popular girls” in my grade. At first they were very nice to me, but they would always talk about these parties on the weekend that I wasn’t invited to. After hanging out with them for several weeks, things went sour for some mysterious reason. When I was with them, the leader of the group told another girl that she had “become one of us.” After she said that, the leader and her group glared menacingly at me. At that moment, I realized that I would not be “one of us.”
Then I tried to befriend some girls on the fringes. However, they were hostile because they did not want to be ridiculed by the “in crowd.” It was against the social code to associate with me, thanks to several girls who were ringleaders of their cliques. One girl, who desperately wanted to be popular, told me that cutting yourself is fun and I should try it. Nevertheless, I still tried to befriend her because the other girls had alienated me. One day, when we were talking on msn, she said, “NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU.” When I told her that this was not the case, she told me to “F*** OFF!”
Since I had been rejected so many times, I began to think that there was something wrong with me. Nevertheless, I endured this hardship, thanks to my dance classes in the city.
In grade 10, it only got worse. A new girl came to the school. Initially, she was very kind to me, and I believed that I had finally made a good friend. However, she wanted to be accepted by the cool chicks, and to accomplish this, she would have to diss me, which is exactly what happened.
I noticed a sudden change in her behavior when she began to hang out with this popular and ruthless girl in my grade. Whenever the new girl saw me with her newly formed alliances, she would either burst into giggles or scowl at me. I wondered what I had done wrong.
One day in Phys. Ed. class, her popular friend walked up and whispered to her. Then, they both looked at me and giggled. A few minutes later, I felt something hit my hair. I tried to see where it had come from, but by the time I had done so, my hair was hit again. Then, I looked back, and saw the new girl aiming another piece of something at my hair. The substance was gum, and she was giggling wildly at me. After that incident, she was very popular.
The next week, she was in the bathroom with one of her newly made alliances. Her friend told me that my hair looked like straw, and the new girl roared. Soon afterwards, she and her friend began to get physical. One time when I was in the bathroom, they stood by the door, and tried to prevent me from leaving. Meanwhile, the popular girls were standing outside of the bathroom, giggling at me. At that point, I spent lots of time in the bathroom because I was trying to avoid the nasty girls at all costs. But even the bathroom had become an unsafe place.
One day at lunch, I caught the boyfriend of the new girl’s friend drawing a cartoon of me with my side ponytail. The boyfriend and his girlfriend were looking at me and laughing hysterically (ironically his girlfriend wore her hair in a side ponytail at grad).
My very astute English teacher began to notice how hostile the girls in her class were being towards me. Ironically, the most vindictive ones weren’t even in there. To combat the problem, she held a meeting with my teachers to inform them about the way I was being treated. At that time, she was very concerned about me.
Due to my teacher’s concern, I was asked to join a group called the “Circle of Friends.” This group was devoted to helping students who were having trouble making friends. One day, the older students in the group took me to the mall, where we happened to bump into Taylor Swift. For some reason, Taylor Swift put her arm around me, and we had our picture taken. There seemed to be an unspoken understanding between us. Later on, I learned that in high school, she was also bullied by the other girls. However, at that point in time, I never would have believed that someone as popular as her would have had the same problem. After that day and until graduation, the girls who bullied me kept saying how unfair it was that I had had my picture taken with Taylor. Little did they know that they were the very reason why I had met her that day!!!
Another day in Phys. Ed. class, the most popular girl in my grade (who would later receive a leadership award and become a leader of the student council) gave me a malicious smile and threw a ball in my face as hard as she could. I told the Phys. Ed teacher what she had done, and the teacher said it was just an accident. If that girl had not have been one of the “leaders,” perhaps the teacher would have believed differently.
By the end of the year, I had become a mouse. I was afraid to express my opinions or show any personality, and I had become very self-conscious about my appearance. Girls who I falsely believed were my friends would either glare or giggle at me. Furthermore, whenever I tried to talk to them, they would ignore me, or start talking to someone else. I rarely had a place to sit in the cafeteria, and when I did, the girls would automatically move away from me like I was a parasite. One time, I took a seat, and a girl who happened to be a dedicated peer helper said, “Seriously F*** OFF. You are such a B****.” A girl who wanted to be popular even formed a hate page about me on myspace. These girls wanted me to believe that I had a problem, so I would lose my confidence and never succeed.
Nevertheless, I got through grade 10, thanks to my supportive parents and proactive english teacher. I also continued to take dance classes in the city on a regular basis, where I was able to socialize with other girls my age.
In grades 11 and 12, I continued to be a mouse. I would walk through the halls, and go to class without saying a word to anyone. However, I realized that I had a future after high school, and I became a serious student. Whenever I happened to show a keen interest in math and science, the girls in my class would laugh at me behind the teacher’s back. One time, in calculus, the girls who were recognized by the teachers as the leaders and star students, giggled, whispered, and glared at me, for no apparent reason. It was so bad, that my calculus teacher noticed, and talked to them after class.
Since I was dancer, I carried myself with very good posture. A girl who was trying to impress her popular friend, told me that I walked funny. She said walk like this, and she started walking with her back hunched over like a monkey. The other girls who were walking with her agreed, and they told me I would look much better if I walked that way. Furthermore, I spent hours working on a life sized drawing of a dancer in art class. My art teacher liked it so much, that she put it up in the hall for the school to see. However, after it had been up for a day, it mysteriously disappeared. I asked my art teacher what had happened to it, and she said that it had been defaced.
I realized that what was happening to me was wrong, and with time, I grew to be strong. Due to all the great people I had met in the past, I knew that not everyone would treat me that way. I began to ignore the perpetrators at all costs, and when they tried to intimidate me, I looked right through them and kept going. I can now say, I was lucky that I wasn’t accepted. This is because I developed my own interests, and unlike the majority of these girls, I did not turn to binge drinking and promiscuity for kicks. I managed to keep it all together, and remain an individual with confidence and direction. I was a dedicated student, and I began to spend my time at school tutoring other students and volunteering in school-based organizations. However, if I wanted to do anything enjoyable in town, such as going to school dances or to the beach, I would have to go by myself, and face much ridicule by the other girls.
Nevertheless, in the end, I was rewarded. I graduated from high school with the highest grades along with the biggest university entrance scholarships. When I walked up on stage to receive my diploma, my fellow students (mostly the guys) gave me a huge round of applause. The funny part was, barely anyone cheered for the girls who had tried to bring me down. Through my victory, I demonstrated that even the underdog can become the champion.
At the graduation ceremony, many of the bystanders gave me big hugs, and told me that my success was well deserved. I believe that they had had good intentions all along, and they had only joined forces with the bullies to survive. Furthermore, a group of very tough girls in my graduating class also hugged me, and wished me the best of luck. One of them said that I was beautiful and brilliant, and I had a very promising future. These were the girls who the teachers thought were the bullies, but in reality they were much nicer. I believe that they became the tough chicks because they were too nice to fit in with malicious girls.
Looking back at what happened, I’ve observed that you can’t control the behavior of others. You can only control how you react. You don’t react by feeling worthless, and giving up on life. Instead, you react by being strong, and succeeding despite what you are going through. High school lasts for a short period time, and a girl’s ability to be a bully does not determine her future success in life.
This past year, I had a totally different experience at university. I met lots of interesting people, and I had the time of my life!!! No one told me that my hair looked like straw or threw gum at it, and there it was actually cool to be an intelligent individual. Now, all I feel is empathy for the girls who bullied me. I WOULD NEVER TRADE PLACES WITH ANY OF THEM. Just remember, “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, bully.”
For more information about the female bully, go to: http://www.wix.com/ktrotter/the-female-bully
July 15th, 2011 at 3:01 am
Thank you so much for this blog! i was Severely Bullied all throughout middle school. Im 16 now and still Dealing with the phycological scars that this has left me. Your blog has helped me Learn how to deal
at the time of the bullying i felt alone. Whats even worse is That my circle of “Friends” where the ones doing this to me. They used to sit me down and Point out “Flaws” in my Personality and on my body but at the time i was convinced that, that was what friends were soppoused to do. Im about to be a senior in High school now and I want to thank SHANNA LOPEZ & Her GODSISTERS. if You ever See This I want you To Know that I Pulled through it and Thank you for Making me the Strong Young women that i am Today.
July 19th, 2011 at 5:58 pm
Thank you for putting this blog up, i was bullied this past year by my “best friend”! i believed she was my friend, but she used my sexuality against me, and had almost all my friends against me. she told me i had no use in life and that i should end it. she told me i was an annoying “witch”. when i went to the counsler at my school abput it, he listened to me, but called the girl, Brittany, into his office. she monipulated him, and he believed her! i never got my justice. but my mistake was not printing out what she was telling me on Facebook, because i deleted the stuff so i didnt have to look at them again. now i know to print out the bulling to take a stand against it, and now i am stronger because of it(:
September 22nd, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Expand I’m a 16 year old african american girl, I was bullied in school. I literally only had one friend and we would hardly talk. kids would call me names all the time no one would sit with me or even talk to me. People acted as if I had a disease or somthing. Even when I had gym I never went into the bathroom to change intell almost everyone was gone.I never ate in the lunchroom and I would say I was sick so I could go to the nurse and avoid the people and my bullies in the classrooms. In school I would sit in the corner far away from everyone .I couldn’t even go out in public without thinking the worst! . People called me a lesbian, ugly,stalker,weird, and any other name they came up with. I even tried to tell my school counselor in 9th grade and my other counselor in 10th grade but they bassically callled me crazy saying that I heard voices!! WHICH I DON’T! They thought I was hearing voices because when they called my bullies into the office -WITH ME THERE- and the bullies would tell the counselor that “they didn’t know me” or,” I never bullied her”. I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone so I told my mom she believed the counselors for a while and had me evaluated in various hospitals. The doctors just told her that I was depressed -and not crazy- One day I said “I’m having suicidle thoughts and want to just run out of school”, I only said that because I wanted to leave school so bad. Yes I got bullied but I would NEVER end my life.For saying that I wanted to kill myself my counselor -who already thinks I’m crazy- puts me in a mental hospital called Valley Vista! I spent 9 days there. I got better and I was happy I ,made 6 new friends and I used to wear my hair all in my face to hide but now its all pulled back! THANK YOU Valley Vista for your support! -no sarcasm-. Finally my mom decided enough is enough and sent me to online school but before I went my school counselor told my mom a lie saying I did all that to get attention and that I was lieing about being bullied!! I WAS NOT! Please dont let your kid go through what I went through if you suspect that counselor is like mine tell your kid to tell another person someone trustworthy! Now because of my counselor my mom thinks I’m a liar and our relationship is ruined, I don’t know what to do?! I just want to say there is hope! Online school was the best choice for me. Thanks k12 -no sarcasm-
October 5th, 2011 at 1:40 am
I was bullied, from the kindergarten to 10th grade. Im old as dirt now. and im still having issues about it. Im like totally anti-people. I dont want people around me, I cant talk to people face to face. I drank from about 9yrs old to 10yrs ago. I cut to feel. The first time i tried to kill myself i was 9. still think about sometimes. I was adopted so that didnt help. and im a minority who grew up in a ultra white neighborhood with a white german family. This all lead to being bullied. I had a soccer coach…he used to hit me. and other things. Most days i can soar thru. but some days things or people bring up memories. or just a look from someone….and i think they are gonna say something mean or spit on me…or worse. maybe if i read more of your site here it’ll help. umm thanks for being here.
October 5th, 2011 at 7:14 am
It is so true that some days some trigger just brings back these memories. Please do read the site, you will see you weren’t and still aren’t alone. And you are welcome to have an ear here that will listen any time.
October 5th, 2011 at 4:23 pm
I was a target for bullying in grades 7 to 11 ( I graduated from high school a year early to get away from the school) because I looked different from everyone else. I was called names, attacked, and worst of all: shunned and ignored because I looked different. I HATED going into the cafeteria or any situation where partners had to be chosen. It left a scar that took therapy and workshops to get over.
I can tell some stories… In fact, I tell some stories in my program, Fowl Behavior an antibullying program for k-12 in Massachusetts and New England. I present this program with my helper, Mooey, a live chicken who got bullied last winter and became a bully!
I tell Mooey’s story, then I get my heart together and tell some of my story to educate kids and teachers to be more empathetic to those who are different. Contact me to come to your school. Go to my website, http://www.fowlbehavior.net.
October 5th, 2011 at 5:44 pm
This sounds like an excellent presentation, Susan. I too tell my stories in live presentations and share others stories both good and bad. The experience for all has been very worthwhile for me.
October 6th, 2011 at 2:04 am
Do you ever feel like you lost some or all of your childhood because of bullies? i do. i had to grow up long before i should have. now im in my 40s and………i just dont feel i belong…anywhere. I never had friends. There was this cop. All the parents and adults thought he was the greatest. taking time to help the less fortunate kids. what joke. He did things. who would have believed us if we told? no one. he was a COP! he once dislocated my shoulder and now its getting to where i cant use it without severe pain. a reminder every day. i guess what bugs me the most is that some of my bullies were adults…people who should have helped me.ill never trust again. i just dont know….anymore.
December 2nd, 2011 at 9:17 am
Heya i am for the primary time here. I found this board and I find It truly helpful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others such as you helped me.
December 15th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
hi im 16 years old i was bullied along time ago but im alive ok for thoughs u killed themself im sorry for the parents
December 31st, 2011 at 2:59 pm
That Girl
First day of school I was called THAT GIRL
Walking down the hall I was called THAT GIRL
While getting teased I was called that THAT CRAZY GIRL, not my name Sydney
They called me CRAZY because I said I can see the future
And I told them they will all DIE at age 20
They called me THAT CRAZY GIRL everyday after that day until the day before my senior graduation
That day when everyone was getting ready THAT GIRL got ready too
But for different reasons
When people was walking to the stage to get their diploma I was home,
Getting ready to kill myself
I took 30 pills then yelled I AM NOT A CRAZY GIRL and then i took a breath and hung myself in the closet
The next day I was in the papers ,”GIRL HUNG HERSELF”
All the students at her school said I knew THAT GIRL WAS CRAZY only crazy people hang theirselves
2 years later……
All those students from THAT GIRL’S school said It is know January 1st I am now 20 years old and not dead I knew THAT GIRL was crazy
On January 20 all her classmates died, they died on the twentieth because they were twenty,
They died in january because that was the start on the new year,the month I started school
They all went in the sky thinking THAT GIRL really could see into the future she wasn’t crazy she was just misunderstood, we were the crazy ones if we would have listened maybe we would be ALIVE, THAT GIRL killed herself because of us I will tell THAT GIRL, THAT I AM SORRY, I mean I will tell SYDNEY THAT I AM SORRY
BULLYING CAN KILL PEOPLE,DON’T BULLY OTHERS AND THEY WON’T BULLY YOU
(not a true story, made it up, tell me if it is good)
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:56 pm
A school project had to make a bullying story
January 4th, 2012 at 11:16 am
Yeah I’m a victim of bullying too it all started in school one day he threw amarker at my forehead so I defended my delf and it broke into a fight and wen I got bak from being suspended my freinds me he’s gnna keep messing with and I didn’t believe them and wen I went to class with him he threw stuff at me and toldmy freinds to tell me that he was gnna beat me ups after class or after school but I slipped off when the bell rang and wen I went to lunch he came up to me and told my freinds that he beat me up and he pushed me but I just stayed quiet and I was so emberassed and every class after that my freinds told me he was going to beat me up and after school he was chasing me but I ran on the bus and the next two days I didn’t go to school because I was nervous and wen I went back to school my mom went with me and tld the officer but he couldn’t do anything document it and the second time in the morning hetold me heat beat me up and cuzzed at me and I went to tell the officer again he documented it and sent me to meet the assistant princepal and he called my bully and we were sitting next to each other and I told him wat happened and he told me to grow up and the bully gave me a mean look and the next day we were in lunch and he followed me in line and was yelling into my ear and I went home to tell my mom and I begged her to transfer me to another school so my next I was nervous to go there because I heard a lot bad stories so I told my mom I was nervouse and my mom switched me back to my old school and wen I went back every body was telling me I switched school because I was scared of my bully I was but I didn’t want tell them that so I started going to library during lunch and got my schedule changed and one day he came in the library and he saw me and ever since then I havnt went to the library and iv been walking around during lunch and I can get in trouble for it and I dnt know wat to do any more I also have a lot of hair and everybody tells me to get a haircut but I’m afraid they will make fun of me if I do and he also called my cousin a lesbian and bulyd her and he touched her freinds private part and they both reported him for bullying and all the school did was changed there schedules and my cousin still has him for a class! And the principle told me if u bully twice u go to an alternitive school he is still there following me and bullying me and I missed school today because I’m nervous can u help me please I need help I’ve had some thoughts of suicide but I need tips please help.
January 4th, 2012 at 11:28 am
Yes I’m a victim of bullying to I need serious help he bullys my cousin and her friend too they both told the principal and so have I but they just changed our schedules and my cousin still has him for 2nd period! I missed school today because of this I m nervous right now and my principal said if u bully twice u go to an alternative. School he’s done it 3 times! I don’t know wat to do anymore itryed transfering but it was too hard for me please help I need advice sometimes I have thoughts of suicide too I have the full story but its wayy to long.
-Leonardo Rodriguez
May 3rd, 2012 at 9:50 am
i wish i was there to help you. i wish i had the right words in my mouth to tell you, but all i say i don’t give up. don’t be scared of him, i mean if he’s bigger yeah, but if there is a law in your state that is against bullying you can press charges you. i did. and she backed off. the bully is just a show off. don’t kill your self. i may not know but i CARE and i can relate. Violence is not the best option. Seriousely. and your cousin can have him be suspended even because what he does to your cuz is sexual harrasment.
January 16th, 2012 at 2:59 pm
My name is Eva. I’m 33 going on 34 this year. Since 5th grade I had to fight Bullies. And Every-time I get in trouble to the point I had to go to the alternative school. Then to my Adult years it got worse. Now I’m with a 36 year old Man that use to be a Bully all threw Elementary to Collage. I’m 5’2 130 pd.. He’s 6’2 245 pd. He can just yell at me and I start crying. And what’s really F@$K up. My Best Friend for over 10 years is dead. I’m so tired of fighting. I’m so scared. Now he wants to get Married. I gotta get out
January 20th, 2012 at 12:25 pm
PERSON TRAGIC STORY!
Tate Jackson
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jacobs-Diary/223655577719333
Jacob’s Diary
My nephew, Jacob Rogers, commited suicide Dec. 7, 2011 after suffering years of bullying for being gay. This page is for kids that are being bullied (for any reason in or outside of school) to come and talk to other kids that are going thru the same thing. If you don’t feel comfortable using your real name feel free to…
January 20th, 2012 at 3:00 pm
So sorry to hear this, Tate. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time.
January 21st, 2012 at 7:44 pm
I know how you people feel, being an outcast isn’t how we should be treated at all. I have been bullied before and can place myself in your positions easily. If you have any stories or problems i would be glad to help.
February 1st, 2012 at 6:11 pm
hi my name is Anna
i am 17 years old
for all my life ive been called fat, ugly, stupid, or even a terrorist
im a musluim and when i was in 4th grade i had a teacher who had a students write things they hated about me on the bored then read it out loud to the class
that same year a kid beat me up in front of the whole school and the office didnt call my parents for 3 hrs
i will never forget that day
February 1st, 2012 at 6:38 pm
I totally understand what you are saying. I don’t ever forget the days either. You are very brave to share.
February 4th, 2012 at 12:21 am
thank you
its been really hard for me
February 10th, 2012 at 9:54 am
I had a problem with my sixth grade teacher. She sent me to deliver a message to the office, then told the entire class that I was a retard, which is of course untrue. And even if I was, she would still have no right to tell everybody! Now, in the ninth grade, everyone still calls me a retard. Unfortunately, I still have years to go, and possibly have to endure it through uni/college as well.
February 13th, 2012 at 7:47 am
Can I use this for a school project? (Proper credit given of course)
February 13th, 2012 at 9:26 am
Yes, you can use this for a school project. Thank you for asking.
February 14th, 2012 at 8:55 am
Thanks =)
March 5th, 2012 at 10:11 am
hi , ive never done anything like this before but i’ve had enough and need help.
My name is Jessi Power and im 16 from Australia.
im in year 11 and i have been bullied terribly since i was in year 8. i would like to know when does it stop? i’m well known at my school and town , liked by many. Good life , still in school , go to tafe for beauty and have an apprenticeship in hairdressing. Happy family, great mates and amazing boyfriend.
but people still manage to make me think , fuck the world. Im called horrible rude names, while there walking past, or on facebook and shit like that. threatened to be bashed , stabbed , even killed.
Im a very outgoing person ,i have no shame at all. i love to have fun with my mates , who doesnt?
people always say ” they’re just jealous cause you have all this and they probably dont” I have blonde and black hair, tall , long legs , toned body , true Australian chick. i love and care for anyone who needs it. but im still treated like i shouldnt even be alive?
about an hour before i started writing this , i was considering , lets just say , i wanted to leave the world. cause someone said on facebook from my school that i shouldnt be alive and i dont deserve a place on this earth. i ended up having a fight with my boyfriend but he is my bestfriend he showed me i belong on this earth.
1st of feb , i lost my friend to suicide , thanks to bullying. in my town alone only this year , 4 people have commited cause of bullying.
i dont wish and pain to the people who bully me , i would never , i just want it to stop.
March 26th, 2012 at 10:03 pm
Hello my name is Katie,
I can say that i have been bullied, it was the day after my boyfriend had broke up with me for some other girl, we had been together for about half a year, and everyone was picking on me, calling me all the swear words you could think of. I was in so much pain, i’d walk down the halls in my school, people were yelling names behind me, yet my best friend didn’t even know i was being bullied, how sad is that.
The person that i thought was my best friend hurt me the worst part of all, telling everyone all my secerts. Every single one of them, like my whole life was turned around. My ex, the guy that said he was always going to be there, left me, alone, to fend for myself. My parents hated seeing me crying, every single day after school, just coming home in tears, that just wouldn’t stop falling, no one would stand up for me.
Until my sister found out, then she and her boyfriend, started helping me, posting things, helping me. I don’t think i’d be here without there help, even thinking about my bullying is making me tear up.
I even would skip school, it got bad. everyone was against me. They would keep me in the school office so I wouldn’t get hurt, by such rude names. I cried a lot in the office too. My parents got involved.
It has been five months now, and it has cooled done much. But, people are still talking about me. It hurts badly, i’ve cried so many times because of it, I even seen my dad start to cry because i was crying so badly, he never wanted this for me, then again, what parent would.
Everyone needs to find out about bullying. its a horrible thing. No one should ever have to go through it. I never even did anything but date a guy, and it got tooken out on me. I really don’t see how that is fair. Please people i beg you, stop bullying. It is killing many people. We reallly need to stop this.
This was my bullying story, help others like me. Please<3
April 4th, 2012 at 10:00 pm
Oh my, that is sooo sad that the were doing that. And just because your boyfriend broke up with you?
April 1st, 2012 at 11:14 pm
I need help. Everyone bullies me about how skinny I am. Also,about how I am afraid of dogs. HELP.
April 14th, 2012 at 11:55 pm
Man, these are some sad stories OMG people need to get hurt from that.!
April 16th, 2012 at 1:22 am
When I was a Junior in HS and in GYM class we were playing volleyball, there was a ‘less’ than athletic boy in my class, who… oof course was picked last for the team… then when the game started he made a mistake and people started ridiculing him (really bad!!!) I BROKE OUT IN TEARS, and left the gym floor telling my teacher I would NOT play until the ‘assho#@!’ apologized!! I hope I helped that boy in some way…..
I was ALWAYS an advocate for the ‘bullied’… always rallying!!! and making sure everyone had a fair shake…
May 3rd, 2012 at 9:37 am
My name is Elia and I am in the 9th grade. I have a smile on my face everyday. If you ask they would tell you that I am a cheerful person. But as much as I hate fake people or things, I do put on an act. What people don’t know about me is I have been bullied for so long. For the longest. And my tears are my only companion at night. Bullying didn’t’ start for me until the 6th grade. When I had just moved. It was horrible. People used to talk about me. Tease me because of where I was from. When people ask me that question, I first say I’m Jamaican, they act like its all cool, but I’m also part African. That’s when everything gets messed up. They started saying that I stank, and I was dirty, they said I was ugly and I should go back living with the bonobos. I was shattered but I ignored them. I didn’t have many friends I kept it most to my self. When 7th grade year started, it was as if I told them to add more to their bombs. They exceeded their insult; I used to get jumped so I just stayed home by myself. African booty scratcher. Ugly ape. Then a new girl came and she made everything worse.
She added to the pain the others caused. She came up to me and said everything that was already said about me. She even brought soap one day. I never smelled. Never. I took 2 showers in the morning. One when I came back from school and another when going to bed. I had two different deodorants and a cupboard of perfume. So how could I smell? I didn’t put too much nor did I put one too little. Just the right amount. I became a clean freak. But it kept on coming. I was so insecure, I hated my body. Everyone told me I should model but some said I should go to a hospital because they thought I was anorexic. It was never like that, food was my refuge, and then later on it was useless, so I started to cut. The insult, a whore, a skank, the threats. But all I did was keep quiet. That same year, my step dad took advantage of me. I was so young. I was only 11. Not even 12. He got kicked out but the scars are still there. In the 8th grade, she called me an African booty scratcher again, that Africans should only marry Africans, and for my case she doubt s an ape would even want me. She laughed. I was so done with it that I told her she got African in her so why does she say those kind of things. For all she knows I could be her long lost cousin. We could be related she doesn’t know if we are. She snapped and grabbed for my hair. I fought back and apparently I “won”. She became unpopular in school and I got more respect. I tried to be friends with her but then she told me she wanted a rematch. And I said no. so she’s still there. But her friends were still on my case. They posted things on my face book wall. They sent me email. They did all those things. I blocked them, I got a new email. But they still followed me.
I moved again freshman year. I thought I could get a fresh start. But I guess not. Ppl were still on me calling me the same thing. And they even told me once that I looked like Kony. A Tutsis cockroach. Hutu killer I was shattered to pieces I didn’t know what to do or say. And I was like why? What did I ever do to you? Why. But it seemed as if they cared less what my thoughts were or how I felt. I was talking about a fresh start but it was continuous. I think of killing my self everyday. The thoughts cross my mind. I even almost killed my self. I slit my wrist and almost cut my artery. I almost jumped into a river but I random man stopped me. Keeping your head held high is hard. You can, but it takes time to heal. They break your brick wall of self esteem that you’ve tried so hard to build up during the summer. It’s stupid. What can you do though? Walk away. I try as much as I can to but I lay my burden before God, for he is my helper. I would have been dead but I just let it go, for his sake.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Hi my name is Aria, Im 16 years old and in the 11th gr. I’ve started my sophmore year at a high school, but in Febuary I left for a while and started homeschooling. The reason i left for a while is because I was bullied and i tried to commit suicide because of being bullied.
The people who where bullying me where my best friends and their friends. And let me tell you they where some fake people n everything but i didnt tell them a lot of stuff about me. So they bullied me because I was best friends wit my friends’ ex-boyfriend. But i was already really good friends with him before they got together.
So these people were getting others involved and trying to have them jump me, fight me and everything. They talked a lot of CRAP behind my back, when i went to face them. They lie to my face and say they did say this or that. But once i leave they start running their mouthes again. Everyone was starting to believe those lies they said and not me.
The presure was so much, i was tired of everything; life, people, EVERYTHING. i told my family they said to ignore them, etc. i went to the school, they didnt care,i even went to a police officer, they didnt do crap. So i decided to try to commit suicide again.(I tried twice before but i was not succeesful my family stop me. So i’ve been cutting myself.) So instead of cutting myself again, i was going to do an over dose. So i got one of my family members to buy me ib profin so it can help me sleep better. But i was gonna do it before i went to sleep so i can die in my sleep.
The day i was going to lil_bit1224@yahoo.com. thank you so much