9 Signs of Workplace Bullying

According to the website onlinemba.com, there are nine signs that workplace bullying might be a problem at your office. According to a Washington State Department of Labor & Industries report, 47 million American workers or about 46% of them, say they have had to deal with bullying at work this year and about 15 million U.S. workers or about 13% of the workforce had it happen to them at least once during a week’s time.

These are staggering numbers, but is it surprising? I hear often from folks saying they deal with bullying at work. The nine signs as stated from the onlinemba.com website are:

1. Nobody feels as if their accomplishments amount to much of anything
2. You’re all sick
3. Turnover rates and absences increase
4. Withdrawal
5. Retaliation
6. It’s chronic
7. Obsessiveness
8. Criticism comes without evidence
9. The overarching office culture rewards it

I won’t go through at the details of these, you can visit their site to see more information. They have more details on each and links to other information about workplace bullying.

It is important to remember that bullying doesn’t just happen at schools. It is a systemic problem that we need to address at all levels.

Drexel University to Host Free Bullying Webinar

Drexel University Online contacted me to let me know they are offering a free seminar on bullying. Drexel is teaming up with the university’s Center for the Prevention of School-Aged Violence to sponsor a live online Bullying Webinar hosted by Drexel University professor and Philadelphia-based youth advocate Dr. Chuck Williams.

The webinar titled, “Bullying: What Every Educator Should Know and Do”, will take place online on Thursday February 23rd from 6 to 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Visit www.drexel.com/bullyingwebinar to register today!

The webinar is aimed at providing educators, school counselors, parents, and anyone interested in stymying this growing trend with the skills to identify and prevent bullying in schools.

By exploring four comprehensive modules, Dr. Williams will walk participants through an introduction to the social and psychological causes of bullying, including an exploration of both bully and victim profiles, followed by basic and advanced prevention strategies.

If you require CE credits, Webinar participants will be able to earn two Continuing Education (CE) credits for attending the event live.

Additionally, Dr. Williams (@drchuckwilliams) and Drexel University Online (@DrexelOnline) will be tweeting live during the event with the tag #bullywebinar to provide an opportunity for parties to directly ask both Dr. Williams and Drexel questions in real-time throughout the streaming webcast.

Please visit www.drexel.com/bullyingwebinar for more information and to register today.

Bullying Law Summary Fact Sheet

The website cyberbullying.us has updated their “Bullying Law Summary Fact Sheet” that gives excellent information about each state’s current laws for cyberbullying.

This very detailed report goes through which states currently have bullying laws, which ones they are proposed in, which have criminal sanctions, and which states have no active movement on the bullying issue. It is both well documented and actively updated. You can see the current version on their website at:

http://www.cyberbullying.us/Bullying_and_Cyberbullying_Laws.pdf

I hope that eventually all states will have check marks next to having a law on the books. While this will not cure the bullying problem, it will add another layer of a method of protection from those being bullied.

The Drowning of Stephan Jones

Bette Greene, Author of the classic “Summer of My German Soldier” has written a book on bullying titled “The Drowning of Stephan Jones”. First released in 1999, Ms. Greene has re-released it recently as an ebook and it is a very powerful story indeed. Based on true events, this story has been consistently challenged or banned by people who, as Bette says, “think in little boxes.” In other words, by bullies. In addition to writing, Bette’s lifelong passion has been the fight against bullying. Her books’ subject matter and her life’s work teach people to stand up, fight back, and not accept bullying.

The story of Stephan Jones is one based in hate and prejudice. As described on Publishers Weekly, the story synopsis is:

“Greene tackles the subject of prejudice in a small Southern town as she explores the sentiments of a social outcast who dares to stand up for her beliefs. This book, however, is set in present times and features an older heroine, 16-year-old Carla Wayland. The daughter of a liberal-minded librarian, Carla is disturbed when her all-American boyfriend begins harassing two homosexual men who have recently moved to her community. Blinded by love and fearful of losing Andy’s respect, Carla hides her compassion for the victims until Andy’s bigotry leads to murder. It is only during the aftermath of tragedy that Carla finds the strength to speak her mind and fight for justice.”

The new ebook, which is distributed by “Open Road Integrated Media“, offers a new way to gain access to this story. You can learn more about this story and Bette Green by at this link. Below is a video about Ms. Greene and her reason for sharing this story.

Words Will Never Hurt Me – But Actions Will Heal. Using Examples To Stop Bullying

I talked with Rebecca, who works for SpyTown.com, a group that sells spy/surveillance equipment. Not only do they have that business, but they also take an active part in the anti-bullying movement by sharing knowledge and information and helping to try to stop bullying. I offered and they accepted to guest blog on this site. Below is a guest blog from the folks at Spytown.com. ~Alan Eisenberg

---

Bullying in the workplace is a serious issue that often goes unaddressed – the person being bullied often doesn’t report it, as bullying only happens in high school, right? Not so. Bullying must be addressed, whether we’re thirteen or thirty-three. Using example to stop bullying in its tracks is one of the most successful ways to halt it, so let’s take a look at how we can use example through action to peacefully rectify adult bullying.

• Distribute Responsibility – One of the chief reasons behind workplace bullying is insecurity in performance – the bully feels that she/he isn’t performing as well as others or isn’t given as much responsibility as the next team member. As a manager, identify your employees’ strengths and weaknesses, and publicly distribute responsibilities throughout the team. Your bully will see that she or he is being given increased responsibility, right along with the rest of the team.
• Get Out Of The Office – Ever notice the difference between team members in and out of the office? Take the bullying team member out to lunch and see how she or he acts. Try to connect on a personal level – the negative behavior may be stemming from office stress or issues at home. Show interest in the team member’s life to establish camaraderie, and you may just learn a thing or two about what’s causing the behavior.
• Regular Performance Reviews – Performance reviews should never come as a surprise. Hold quarterly reviews for your employees – it helps the bullying team member regularly see how they are performing, which can reassure them that they are performing at an adequate level (thus eliminating the insecurity), or are on the path to performing better. This is also a perfect time to address the bullying behavior, but be sure to always list specific examples and corrective action.
• Lead By Example – Management must always, always lead by example in the workplace. Statistics show that the majority of workplace bullies are actually in management roles, so for managers to effectively cut bullying out of the workday, this behavior needs to be stopped. Employees look to their managers for performance and behavior, just as kids look to their parents for life lessons. Follow this philosophy as a manager: Act the way you want your employees to act.

Bio: Bullying in any form is a serious issue, and it’s up to all of us to spread the message of bullying prevention. Here at SpyTown.com, we’ve helped many a business choose the right covert surveillance cameras and cctv security cameras to install so they can keep an eye on bullying in the workplace – after all, showing a bully exactly what she or he is doing is a very effective way to stop the behavior!

Attacked by Cyberbullies (A Personal Story)

Robin sent me the below story of how she had been the victim of cyber bullies. Her story of how these attacks take place and the repercussions of them is becoming an all too familiar one. What can we do to stop vicious impersonation attacks and the theft of our identities. It is a hijacking of our life through the internet and reputation is one thing we have that is very difficult to recover  ~ Alan Eisenberg.

---

It started back in 2004 I was talking to not one but three people who I thought were my friends at first but then they started bullying, harassing and spreading ugly rumors about me online that weren’t true.  One was a guy from Elgin,IL and the other two were a girl from Largo,FL and her Mom also from Largo, FL. Anyway they all three were making threats about my family and friends threatening to tell them ugly lies and rumors about me and my friends.

It got to the point where they almost destroyed everything I had work so hard to get in life, they started judging me for the way I dressed,what I was listening to and what I was into and how I live my life. They called me horrible things all over the internet the Mom started telling people that I was her real daughter, which was not true and the girl and the guy started telling others that they were my real brother and sister which they are not. They almost destroyed a relationship I was trying to start with a man I really liked a lot.

The girl was basically trying to turn herself into me even dyed her hair and cut it like mine and everything. This went on up until the beginning of 2011 when I finally decided to change all my online information I’m talking about e-mail address, passwords and all that. The bullying got so bad that I started to take the pain out on myself but cutting myself I cried almost every night because I was lost on how to stop these people from hurting me even more.

They ever hacked my old e-mail, Myspace and Facebook accounts to spread more lies and rumors and to turn my friends and family against me. I took a stand like I said I changed my e-mail,passwords and all my Facebook and Myspace pages and made new ones and set my privacy settings to where they can’t get in then I reported the three people that put me though all that pain and depression. I took back what those people had taken from me and got my esteem, life and reputation back again.

All I ask to others including children,parents,teens and adults be carefull who you become friends with online and do not give out any information or passwords to anyone you do not know What happened to me shouldn’t happen to anyone. I am 32 years old now and have been a victim of cyberbullying and it hurts when people do it. I was suicidal once because of the three that had done it to me and its time to put a stop to bullying and help to keep it from happening to others.

Thanks for listening.

Robin

---

The Loss of Self-Esteem (A Personal Story)

What does it truly take to break a person? If the bullying never happened to us, would we be more attractive, more outgoing and friendly, more caring about ourselves and others? When I read Mariah’s story I couldn’t stop thinking about her experiences that she so dramatically shares and about who she would see herself as if it didn’t happen to her. Through her words and each story, I can literally hear her self-esteem be ripped from her soul. She is brave to share and her honesty is both brutal and truthful. I hope that you will share with her some positive words in your comments to let her know that she is both not alone and that it can get better.  ~Alan Eisenberg

---

For me I worry that the experience is far from over. I’ve never been a “popular”, or “pretty” girl. I’m unattractive being that I’m overweight and short.

Throw in my lack of money, glasses, joy of goth fashion, my high iq, and an awkward personality I might as well been born with a bullseye on my forehead. It started off simple. Guys in kindergarten whispering about me, yeah that early. Then it painfully increased.

I never had many friends. I was the girl who got a few good friends and no more. Rumors saying I didn’t bathe and ate all day spread. The two most signifigant moments were when a girl in my 8th grade class had been dating my older brother and they split up would follow me down the halls of the school asking me when the last time I bathed was. In gym she told the Teacher Something stunk. The teacher just joking told her maybe she should bathe. To this she loudly yelled It’s not me it’s Mariah.

I broke down crying. I normally would have shrugged it off but after weeks of her making sure she harassed me I just broke. The teacher just told me if she did it again let him know, but what about doing something then! All he did was make her walk laps all class her making sure to hold her breathe and nose every time she walked pass me. Then the day after the 14th birthday I was regretting it, the teaches always sing to you and the math teacher being my mom’s close friend I was really worried I thought I avoided it by skipping on my birthday. I knew someone would say something. Then the math teacher made sure the class sung and a girl, who was immediately mean to me for no reason said she would have to get me some soap.

Then I got to highschool. My social circle had decreased significgantly. I only hung out with one person. But I was possesive because I was scared otherwise I wouldn’t have that. The beggining was terrible. I had gotten rid of the main agressor who was my brothers ex, she got pregnant and left school. I was put in a class with all the mean kids. Who would pick on a kid for sitting down. All druggies, sluts, and jerks. Including one who had attacked my brother the year before and wasn’t suppose to be near me or my brother.

I told my mom because I was so scared of him I ditched first period the first day! I wanted to be transferred, but she had him transferred leaving me with his buddies. But first period wasn’t the worse aside from some paper airplanes because they talked to each other. The worse was when in one class I was sat next to one. I had never talked to him but he talked crap about me.

Then when a new kid came I quickly allowed him my seat to sit alone. The boy promptly informed the new kid that he had safed him from sitting next to me. I heard some people talk shit about me when they thought I wasn’t listening. Then my locker was set on fire. I had some papers sticking out and someone set them on fire. The principal swore t was probably nothing against me, just a coincidence. My locker stunk like ashes for a week. Then things got worse between me and my friend. She began lying to me and avoiding hanging out with me.

Due to the bullying I was so paranoid that I would constantly think that she was talking about me or something. The fact she admitted that most people ask her why she hangs out with me didn’t help. Eventually she said, If you don’t believe me than why are we friends. So I stopped being her friend. But after that things with my other peers got better some how. Kids stopped at least letting me hear them talk about me. the kid who sat next to me got nicer after realizing we listen to the same music.

I still don’t have any friends among my peers but I do conversate with them more. The thing is I wanna say this had a happy ending but it doesn’t. I will never be the same after all they did. I am still paranoid after hearing even friends talk about me behind my back, after hearing people lie to me. I just now finished my freshman year of High school. I know their still 3 years I got. I contemplated suicide at 8! No child should even have to fathom ending it. I would come home crying and tell my mom. She just told me to beat them up. But I couldn’t. I’m not that person. I can only be aggressive towards people I’m close with. I help people who hurt me. You threaten me and I’ll help you with your homework. That’s me.

Teachers told me let me know if it happens again, never thinking what about now? Because of the long term damage I will probably never have a fully healthy relationship. I’m so paranoid I can hear total strangers talk and worry it’s about me. I worry people are reading my mind, knowing it’s crazy but I’m so damn paranoid that it haunts me. I can’t stand to be criticized because I’m so desperate to feel like I matter.

I’m almost in tears typing this. I’m hoping that maybe this next three years will be good enough to mend some scars but I doubt it. Heck, I’m worried to put my real name in fear someone from school will see it but oh well.

~Mariah