Stronger (A Personal Video)

Megan contacted me to share a video that she created called “Stronger” about her personal experience with bullying. She shared some insights in an email to me as well, where she told me what drove her to make the video. In her email, Megan shared the following with me:

“Hi, I’m 15 and wrote this and made the video because of a personal experience. I was not going to let them break me.  Reality, if it shows that it bothers you, they’ll just do it more. I hope my song will help those that are starting to feel torn down — to rise up! Don’t let anyone make you a victim. They aren’t worth it.”

I’m happy to share Megan’s video here so it can be seen and heard by a wider audience. Please give Megan any feedback to her video and her message you might want to share.

aeisenbe:

My friend Karen Mueller Coombs and I have been talking to Doug Ratner, lead singer of the rock band, Doug Ratner and the Watchmen. Doug writes lyrics dealing with the issue of bullying and is very dedicated to making a difference through his music. I am reblogging his story on Karen’s site here to share the news with you.

Originally posted on BULLY AT AMBUSH CORNER:

 

On Monday I posted a blog called Down and Dirty Rockers Take On Bullying by my guest Doug Ratner, lead singer of the rock band Doug Ratner and the Watchmen. Yesterday, I received an email from Doug with the following:

“. . today we played “Bomb in the Backseat” on a popular morning show and … the management was not pleased. They kicked us off the show, and told us we’re not allowed back. … a lot of uptight people don’t seem to understand the message of that song and the current state of society. Talk about ‘bullying’ and ‘not accepting.’… It’s going to shine light into the fact that our music is serving a purpose and in no way are we condoning violence or terrorism.”

The goal of Doug Ratner and the Watchmen is to address issues such as bullying, depression, teen suicide, gender roles, and greed. “Bomb…

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Why Do They Do It? (A Personal Story)

Below is Chris’s story and one that is difficult to read. He talks of paranoia and fear and right now he is feeling it, yet only a few months away from getting away. He asks for help at the end, really a cry for help. Can anyone answer his call? ~Alan Eisenberg


My names Chris. I’ve been bullied from the time I step foot on my secondary school ( Year 7 ) till present day ( Year 11 ) .

I have 3 more months left until absolute freedom, and I’m really stressing to find out how long 3 months actually fly past to anyone who’s been bullied for a long time at 16 years old. I am experiencing a lot of cussing and laughing and taunting from many boys in my year, and I actually don’t know how long I can stay strong before I have a breakdown. I’m frightened to see certain boys in my year every day because I know if I see them in my lessons or in the playground, the same thing always comes, the taunting about how i got pushed or who i am as a person.

I am really really confused into why they do it, and I have managed to not cry from the very point i realised I am starting to get hated by people and getting cussed till now, but I really am starting to crack. I HATE those boys, and i don’t know what to do at this moment of time. The fact that there’s only 3 months left is the only thought i have got to hang on to, but i feel depressed, frightened about walking past or getting attention from the specific, horrible bullies, i feel paranoid, every night I’m going to bed without having to think what happened today, WHY it happened. What could’ve happened if they just left me alone, why do they HAVE to taunt me, am I that much different from a normal human? do they have to do what they did today? Every night I try to block out those thoughts by keeping myself occupied with something, but it’s always there. Even now I’m paranoid about what might happen If actually, the bullies might see this on the internet and taunt me even more back at school.

I”m frightened and paranoid of what’s going to happen tomorrow in a specific lesson, at a specific time, If i try to try new ways into avoiding that boy, moving away from him, try to not get his attention, it would force myself to not be MYSELF, to not hang out with my friends in that area, since they have no problem into hanging in that area and don’t recieve any bullying. I have no reason to just force them to come with me because im getting bullied, That would seem greedy. They are great friends, so that covers it.

I have no idea what to do. Does anyone experience this in some sort of way, or have they been through those times and is a recovering victim? I don’t know what to do. I really need some help into what i should do. Should i stick it out for the remaining 3 months? I’m getting so much headaches when I go to sleep, i hold on to my will and strength into not crying because of many factors. For one im a boy, and boy’s don’t cry. But im on the edge. I spoke to my local GP, and he said I;m not going mad, im just very frightened, extremely scared, and that it’s not my fault. I hold on to this thought as well, but it really seems that i can’t take much of this anymore, even for three months. I pray. But that’s it. I don’t believe in karma, because i know for a fact karma hasn’t helped for such a long time.

To anyone who happens to read this, and is one of those boys/girls at 16 who have been through this horrible struggle, I hope to share your experiences and gain more hope into pulling through this traumatizing months. To everyone who have been a victim, i know what you can be going through. Even though I am struggling myself, I’m hear to say that

THEY ARE NOT AND NEVER WILL BE BETTER THAN YOU. YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY NATURE MADE YOU AND THE WAY YOU WERE BROUGHT UP. IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE THAT YOU HAPPEN TO COME ACROSS SUCH DISGUSTING BULLIES. THEY ARE NOT BETTER THEN YOU. ANY NAME THAT THEY CALL YOU CANNOT MAKE YOU WEAKER OR WORSE THAN WHAT YOU ARE NOW. THEY CANNOT REMOVE YOUR TALENTS OR YOU EXISTENCE BY MOVING THEIR LIPS AND MAKING SUCH HORRIBLE SOUNDS COME OUT. THEIR OPINIONS CANNOT DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON. YOU ARE STRONG. BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE, THESE ARE JUST WORDS ON A COMPUTER, BUT PRETEND THIS IS A VOICE. THEIR OPINIONS DON’T MATTER. YOUR LIFE CANNOT BE BASED ON THEIR OPINIONS. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE.

THERE IS AN END TO EVERY ROAD. I’M SURE OF IT. HOW YOU TRAVEL THE ROAD IS WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE, HOW YOU DEAL WITH THESE BULLIES ARE EVERYTHING. DON’T MAKE THEM BIGGER THEN YOU. THEY THINK THEY ARE, BUT THEY ARE NOT.

I’m going through these very stages as I speak. I hope that these 3 months can end, but I’m desperate. Please advise me into what to do during these three months. I will be SO grateful to hear from anyone that is going through or has been through this.

The best wishes in everything you do people. Be happy, stay safe, and good luck. the very best of it.

I hope i pull through this, and If i do, i will come back to this blog and share with you some more. =)

~Chris

Permanent Damage (A Personal Story)

When I read Kristy’s story below I just thought it all too familiar against the others as well. It begs the question, why do the same people get bullied no matter where they move to and what they do to try to prevent it? What is it that attracts a bully, or in the cast of Kristy, many bullies to us? Why are some of us targets? Certainly studies show a correlation between certain traits and being bullied. It doesn’t make it fair or easier to read stories like Kristy’s below, but we still have to figure out how to break the cycle that bullying can become before further permanent damage is done to us. ~Alan Eisenberg


I honestly can’t remember a time of when I WASN’T bullied. I can remember going to daycare at the age of 5 and being teased by the other kids for my overbite. And when I went to the care taker and told her what the other kids were doing she told me that those things were true and so she saw no issue with what the others were doing. This was only to be the beginning of my life and sadly still my life in the business world.

In elementary school I was teased, shoved, and bullied tremendously. I didn’t have a single friend, but how could I when I didn’t trust anyone. I had sand thrown in my face during recess, my lunch would get drinks poured over it which would result in me getting in trouble with the teachers because I refused to eat my food. I would get balls thrown at my face and knock off my glasses and make my nose bleed. Time and time again I would go to teacher, principles, and counselors and no one would help me. I can remember one day my mom came to my school to record some of the things that were happening to me and even still the school staff didn’t see any wrong doings. They continued to blame me for the incidents.

Sadly I quickly began to believe them.

Then in fifth grade my family moved to Kentucky. I thought it as a great chance to start fresh since no one would know who I was or my past. That dream faded nearly as quickly as it started.

Not only were the students teasing me but I had to deal with my teacher as well. She wouldn’t give me my assignments, so I struggled to pass. And because my grades were slipping I was in trouble at home as well. And my parents never did want to believe me that a teacher would withhold assignments from a student.

I dreaded every year valentines would come along. Those little cards for class were horrible. My parents always made me get a box and write nice stuff to my classmates because it was a requirement that every student give one to every student in the class. When I got my bag it would only have a handful and the ones that were in there were anything but nice. They would have ugly pictures drawn of me to match harming words. Then when students saw that they got a card from me they would say across the room horrible things and act completely disgusted. All the while the teacher sitting and not doing a thing to stop it.

Then came middle school. This is when things started becoming more physical for me. These three years are a complete blur. I have tried to block most of it out. But I do remember on graduation day having to be escorted by security guards because of threats that I had received. I do remember though that I would have to run home after getting off the bus for fear of getting caught and getting beaten. I remember one time even I wasn’t as fast as I had hoped and got taken down by 5 other kids in my neighborhood and having a whole cans worth of silly string shoved and held in my mouth. They wanted me to swallow it but I refused and took the beating instead.

High school was without a doubt my most frightening time. By this time I couldn’t go to my parents and family for support because even they had stopped believing to the fact that my teasing was this bad let alone still continuing.

I am probably the only person who has nearly failed PE, not by choice. I can remember one day in particular very clearly. It was a requirement for us to change into our gym clothes before class started. I had gotten teased while dressing with the other girls so I started going into a bathroom stall that was in the changing room. I couldn’t even get relief for this. One particular girl that I was terrified of came very loudly stomping up to the stall I was in. I quickly locked the door but I could sense the evil look on her face just on the other side. She ordered for me to come out or I would suffer the consequences. I was petrified. What could I do, if I came out I knew I would surely get it. But if I stayed where I was I stood somewhat of a chance. So I stayed where I was. I was shaking I was trapped. Then the next thing I knew she had kicked the locked door open. It slammed against my face with a hard thud. Then she left me there laying on the floor with my head up against the toilet. I went out to tell the PE teacher what had just happened with blood gushing out of my nose and my face cut up and he only told me that what is done is done nothing he can do about it now and that he saw no issue. I shouldn’t have been in the stall in the first place but changing out with all the other girls. Needless to say I never went that changing room again.

I have permanent hearing damage because on a daily basis for four straight years I had trumpets blasted in my ears.

And on my very last day of school, at my very last class. My band teacher who I had all through high school came up and told me, exact words, “I’m happy to see you go because you were my least favorite student of all.”

I figured that when I left school and into the business world that the bullying would get better. But I’m still waiting for that moment. I’m still harassed on a daily basis. Even as far as being sexually molested at one of my jobs.

Now the way I cope with it is by emotionally shutting down when it happens. It is all I can do.

~Kristy

aeisenbe:

Here is quick access to a guest blog I wrote called “A Pacifist’s Anger” at the “Bully at Ambush Corner” website.

Originally posted on BULLY AT AMBUSH CORNER:

Today, I’m pleased to host my guest Alan Eisenberg, well-known founder and author of the blog, Bullying Stories: Dealing with Bullying from an Adult Perspective (www.bullyinglte.wordpress.com). Alan also does presentations on bullying and is working on a documentary called Bullying: Long Term Effects.

Just as research shows that the effects of divorce on the children involved are serious and linger long into adulthood, it is also revealing that the effects of being bullied also linger and cause difficulties. Bullying Stories has been instrumental in providing a safe place for adults to share their stories of being bullied and, hopefully, to help vanquish the pain.

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A Pacifist’s Anger by Alan Eisenberg

“Why are you acting so angry?” is a common question my wife asks. While I consider myself a pacifist, I find that I can also be angry. Inside, I feel the anger and rage and want to understand…

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Bully Documentary In Theaters March 30th

A new documentary movie called “Bully” is being released. The movie is set to premiere on March 30th in theaters around the country. This powerful film takes an in-depth look at the bullying crisis taking place in this country. This movie looks to be a no holds barred view of the problem taking place in our schools and communities and looks to be  a must viewing for our schools and kids.

The only issue looks to be that the MPAA wants to give the film an “R” rating, basically making it a movie that will be unavailable to be viewed by those under 17. This would effectively ban the movie from being viewed in schools. Currently, the filmmaker, which is the The Weinstein Company, is trying to have that changed. You can learn more about the petition to change the rating at the Care2 site.

Again, the movie will be released to theaters on March 30th. Here’s the preview of the movie:

Originally posted on Bullying Stories:

Jasmine at Onlinecolleges.net shared a blog article they posted on 15 famous and successful people who have shared their stories of being bullied. This helps us all by sharing our stories and hearing from “famous” people that they also went through some tough times.

Bullying can make a student want to stay home and never go back, opting instead for online college courses. While these may be valid for many fields of study, being bullied is not a valid reason to do one. Bullying can leave long-lasting scars that taking classes from home can’t fix.

A few examples from the article include:

Michael Phelps (Olympic Swimmer)
In 2008, Michael Phelps earned respect worldwide for his performance at the Beijing Olympic Games, as he earned the title of greatest Olympian ever with his all-time record for most individual gold Olympic medals, a total of nine. And although he has been called…

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