About This Blog
So, what is Bullying Long Term Effects and Bullying Stories Blog about. It’s actually been 28 years in the making for me. I am currently working on a documentary film about the long term effects of bullying. With this blog, I am hoping to collect your stories and start to share in what I believe to be the long term effects that being bullied or being a bully has on us as adults. This isn’t the kids perspective, but an adult perspective on how those informative years affect how we are as adults today: our fears, our attitude, and our memories of childhood.
I hope you will be willing to share your story about your experience with bullying here and maybe you will also want to be in the documentary. It is my hope that, by sharing the experience of bullying here, we can help ourselves, and others learn to cope with their experiences and know they are not alone.
I just wrote a blog on what we, as a family, did to help our son with bullying. I would be interested to see what you would add to that. Please feel free to add information as parents need to know.
Thanks so much for your input on my blog. If you ever want to put any additional ideas, please do so as it is such an important topic.
Hey Alan,
This is great! I’m so glad you started this blog -it is very educationsl-these stories are so touching and have seriously elevated my awareness to this insidious problem. I will help however I can.
Feel free to post your insights on my blog, as well, http://www.leesinsights.com
Best wishes!
Lee
Thank you for putting this site together.
JL
Have you done anything on preventing cyberbulling?
I just came across your site. I have a story about my now nineteen year old daughter. I would love nothing more than to help educate young people. I’m afraid it will leave life long scars as well. We watched a beautiful, athletic young girl slowly become a young woman with zero self esteem and many other issues as well.
This is the story of an eleven year-old boy in fifth grade. He is one of the tallest boys in his class. A hard-working student with an audio-processing learning disability, which limits his ability to comprehend what is verbally communicated in class. This learning disability presents a daily challenge and has resulted in low self-esteem.
This eleven year-old boy has good athletic ability. He loves to participate in various sports as a way to rebuild his self-esteem.
After laboring in class most of the morning, recess is an opportunity for him to leave his learning disability behind and participate in athletic activities that free him from his classroom limitations and allow him to feel a sense of value.
A fellow fifth-grade student who is relatively short, but very self-assured is also sports-minded. He is an average athlete who is very physical in game competition. He compensates for his small stature by being aggressive. He is the middle child of a family of five children. He has an older brother who is also aggressive, but not athletic.
This smaller student is surrounded in school by four other students who generally are submissive. The small, aggressive student dominates the other four and leads them with a combination of intimidation and reward. If they do as he asks they get rewarded. Otherwise they are redressed or excluded from activities.
The larger athletic boy is not part of this gang of five. However, he wants to play with them during recess because they are more athletic than many of the other students. Frequently, the fifth grade recess includes a active game of basketball with both the gang of five and the tall boy who has the learning disability.
During these recess activities, the small-statured aggressive leader of the gang of five finds an opportunity to tease or embarrass the taller student. Typically, this attempt to emasculate the taller student starts with an abrupt change of the rules of the game they are playing. Then, as the situation builds, an aggressive confrontation occurs where the small student works to make the bigger target uncomfortably self-conscious.
The end result is usually a string of threats and name calling by the gang of five orchestrated by their self-confident leader to cause a painful loss of dignity to the larger student. The taller student wants to turn and run away from the humilitation. Instead he remains in the game as his self-esteem plunges because he so badly needs the athletic release before returing to the classroom to struggle with his learning.
The school observes this regular activity and periodically invites the small and tall boys into the office to ask them the source of the trouble. The tall boys describes the events in a factual manner. The smaller boys quickly blames the entire situation on the taller boy and tells the principal to ask his gang-of-five followers for conformation of his side of the story, which they promptly provide, or face retribution.
The long-term implications of this daily ritual have had a decidedly negative effect on the tall student. His self-esteem continues to decline while the smaller bully is feeling increasingly confident as his conscious effort to hurt a fellow student provides pleasure from the others pain.
I am now an adult and I was bullied 5th through 7th grade by my best friend I didnt know why they always picked on me when I first met her she was so sweet we were best friends about halfway through the school year she started making fun of me in front of everyone saying I had a big head big forehead and from then on she and everyone else called me forehead I would break down and cry teachers would find me in the bathroom it was horrible I thought about hurting myself and I was so selfconcious my mother would always say hunny they are just jealous of you but I didnt beleive her why would everyone be so mean if that was the reason they continued to bully me she would come to school and I would be talking to other girls and she would call them all over and tell them all to not talk to me or look at me this would go on for days I also recall onne day in 6th grade I was outside and I was cold so a boy from school gave me his jacket to wear when she got to school she saw me when the teachers were not looking her and another girl came over to me and told me if I didnt take it off they would never be my friends again and I had to tell the boy I didnt like him so I did well the next day she was wearing his jacket but what could I say I was scared of her this continued untill 7th grade I was so unhappy my mother told me over and over that they were jealous of me but I thought that was impossible she was cute more matured than I am now in adulthood I thought it was rediculous untill one day we were at a party it was 8th grade I didnt go to school with her anymore but we would still hang out at other places they were the only friends I had well at the party this older guy was hitting on me telling me I was going to be so beatiful when I got older so ofcourse she went over to him and just sat beside him and started flirting then she kissed him and when she did he looked at me like omg I do not agree with this so when we wnt to the bathroom I told her and she brokedown and started apologizing to me saying that she sorry for all the hurtful things that she has done in the past that she loves me im a good freind and that she has always just been JEALOUS of me….. I was like what wow! I can believe this my mom was right she has never done anything hurtful to me since then and to this day we are still freinds 13 years later best freinds at that but I still have self esteem problems I have very bad anxiety I dont like people to look at me and I never put my self out there and I beleive its to do with all the bullying for those years I dont thin I will ever be the way I was before it started even though im older I understand and know why it happend its still has scarred me
Thank you for sharing your story, Heather. It was brave of you. It is hard to have to tell these and relive them, I know. Keep writing if you feel there is more to say.
Good Morning ALL!
Animal Planet “Underdog to Wonderdog” is doing an episode on child Bulling. We are looking for families who deal with their child being bullied everyday in school. Please feel free to check our website at http://www.sharpetertainment.com or email me at keciabenson@yahoo.com for more information. We are looking for families in the NY/NJ area.