About This Website

Contributors

Alan Eisenberg

Founder / Contributor 

So, what is Bullying Stories: Dealing with bullying from an adult perspective about. It’s actually been 28 years in the making for me.  I felt  it would be cathartic for me (and hopefully for you) to share my personal stories of a childhood of being bullied with you to both let go of it. So many feel they are alone in what happens to us when we are bullied. But, it happens to the majority of us and it’s something that we should address and try to solve as a group. You can read my personal stories on this site. Just click here to view a list of them and stories others have submitted.

With this blog, I am hoping to collect your stories and start to share in what I believe to be the long-term effects that being bullied or being a bully has on us as adults. This isn’t the kids perspective, but an adult perspective on how those informative years affect how we are as adults today: our fears, our attitude, and our memories of childhood. I am also sharing information I find about solving the bullying issue to help keep readers informed and pass on information that may help you. What started in 2007 as a small little website has become more of a crusade for me. I have a strong interest as an adult in helping others work through the issues being bullied creates. I originally didn’t plan to continue past sharing my stories, but have been encouraged to continue to bring information I find about solving the bullying problem to you.

Here’s a little about me. I was born in 1968 and grew up in Maryland, Massachusetts, and Virginia.  I have had a successful career as a visual communications expert, web and video producer/programmer and writer. During my younger years from 6-14, I was bullied pretty bad, particularly during my years in Lexington, MA. While that ended long ago, I have found that the long-term effects of those important years do not leave us, but stay in our subconscious. In doing extensive research to prepare this website, I have found that I am not alone and the long-term effects of bullying into adulthood are common issues. While I don’t harbor bad feelings about my life, I do find that there are certain aspects of my personality and reactions that I believe are due to the years of bullying I dealt with. I have worked through most of my issues and hope to help others overcome the effects of bullying in their lives. It is my dream to one day do this on a full-time basis as I find more and more I want to help others and try to have stricter laws and support programs created to beat the bullying issues in our schools and work.

I hope you will be willing to share your story about your experience with bullying here and maybe you will also want to be in the documentary. Please feel free to send me your story at bullyinglte@gmail.com if you would like me to feature it on the site. It is my hope that, by sharing the experience of bullying here, we can help ourselves, and others learn to cope with their experiences and know they are not alone.


Kate Cohen-Posey, MS LMHC LMFT

Contributor

After obtaining my Masters degree in 1973, I began practicing as a professional counselor in central Florida. Driven by a desire to provide clients concise information, I started writing booklets. One topic could not be covered in a pamphlet: Bullying. It seemed that every child I saw, sooner-or-later, brought up problems with peers. My own core issues were being replayed before my eyes. The long-term effect for me of being the target of anti-Semitism and rude remarks was a deeply instilled less-than/better-than mentality that rendered me mute in many social situations.

It was only when I could hide behind my professional persona that I began to change. I studied various treatment approaches with a unique slant born of my own issues. For instance, a common hypnotic ploy is to say, “Do you know how soon you’ll discover … your eyes wide shut?” For me this became, “Do you know when you’ll find that… kindness is the new cool.” In hypno-speak this is called a double bind because whether people answer yes or no, they are agreeing that they will discover kindness is cool.

I began developing a set of skills taken from hypnotic grammar and strategies for dealing with oppression (sexism, racism, ageism, and so on) that young people could use. This lead to the publication of my first book: How to Handle Bullies Teasers and other Meanies. By a near miracle John Wiley & Sons discovered booklets I had been writing on other topics, called me, and said, “We think you’re the author we need.” This proposal birthed 3 books: Brief Therapy Client Handouts, Empowering Dialogues Within, and Making Hostile Words Harmless. Publishing and counseling led to speaking engagements at the Florida Partners in Education Conference, Keys to Safer Schools Conference, many other conferences for professionals and interviews on radio, TV, and for magazines. Like Alan Eisenberg, my dream is to help victims of bullying and to teach skills that empower people in the face of subtle harassment that laws cannot touch.

My site was nominated for Best Education Blog!

145 thoughts on “About This Website

  1. I just wrote a blog on what we, as a family, did to help our son with bullying. I would be interested to see what you would add to that. Please feel free to add information as parents need to know.

  2. Thanks so much for your input on my blog. If you ever want to put any additional ideas, please do so as it is such an important topic.

  3. Hey Alan,

    This is great! I’m so glad you started this blog -it is very educationsl-these stories are so touching and have seriously elevated my awareness to this insidious problem. I will help however I can.

    Feel free to post your insights on my blog, as well, http://www.leesinsights.com

    Best wishes!
    Lee

  4. I just came across your site. I have a story about my now nineteen year old daughter. I would love nothing more than to help educate young people. I’m afraid it will leave life long scars as well. We watched a beautiful, athletic young girl slowly become a young woman with zero self esteem and many other issues as well.

    • Well, as I told my son if you give in to this bully, he wins, stand up for yourself because if you end up killing yourself he wins, you lose. We will never see you grow up, never see you again to celebrate birthday’s, Christmas, fun time, your room will be empty forever. This is not an option for me as your mother, so how are WE going to take care of this problem? The next day I enrolled both of my sons into Karate. My son was never bothered again, never needed to use his skills because it gave him the confidence that he needed not only there but also from home. And very happy that my son is the type of boy at that time who could talk to me about anything and so pleased that he did that day. Because too many of our people do not speak up, they feel it is their problem, they should handle it on their own, NO it is a family problem, too many die because of being bullied. And that is so sad. So you people speak up
      If your parents tell you it is your problem reach out to someone who REALLY cares and there is always someone out there that does!!!!

  5. This is the story of an eleven year-old boy in fifth grade. He is one of the tallest boys in his class. A hard-working student with an audio-processing learning disability, which limits his ability to comprehend what is verbally communicated in class. This learning disability presents a daily challenge and has resulted in low self-esteem.

    This eleven year-old boy has good athletic ability. He loves to participate in various sports as a way to rebuild his self-esteem.
    After laboring in class most of the morning, recess is an opportunity for him to leave his learning disability behind and participate in athletic activities that free him from his classroom limitations and allow him to feel a sense of value.

    A fellow fifth-grade student who is relatively short, but very self-assured is also sports-minded. He is an average athlete who is very physical in game competition. He compensates for his small stature by being aggressive. He is the middle child of a family of five children. He has an older brother who is also aggressive, but not athletic.

    This smaller student is surrounded in school by four other students who generally are submissive. The small, aggressive student dominates the other four and leads them with a combination of intimidation and reward. If they do as he asks they get rewarded. Otherwise they are redressed or excluded from activities.

    The larger athletic boy is not part of this gang of five. However, he wants to play with them during recess because they are more athletic than many of the other students. Frequently, the fifth grade recess includes a active game of basketball with both the gang of five and the tall boy who has the learning disability.

    During these recess activities, the small-statured aggressive leader of the gang of five finds an opportunity to tease or embarrass the taller student. Typically, this attempt to emasculate the taller student starts with an abrupt change of the rules of the game they are playing. Then, as the situation builds, an aggressive confrontation occurs where the small student works to make the bigger target uncomfortably self-conscious.

    The end result is usually a string of threats and name calling by the gang of five orchestrated by their self-confident leader to cause a painful loss of dignity to the larger student. The taller student wants to turn and run away from the humilitation. Instead he remains in the game as his self-esteem plunges because he so badly needs the athletic release before returing to the classroom to struggle with his learning.

    The school observes this regular activity and periodically invites the small and tall boys into the office to ask them the source of the trouble. The tall boys describes the events in a factual manner. The smaller boys quickly blames the entire situation on the taller boy and tells the principal to ask his gang-of-five followers for conformation of his side of the story, which they promptly provide, or face retribution.

    The long-term implications of this daily ritual have had a decidedly negative effect on the tall student. His self-esteem continues to decline while the smaller bully is feeling increasingly confident as his conscious effort to hurt a fellow student provides pleasure from the others pain.

  6. I am now an adult and I was bullied 5th through 7th grade by my best friend I didnt know why they always picked on me when I first met her she was so sweet we were best friends about halfway through the school year she started making fun of me in front of everyone saying I had a big head big forehead and from then on she and everyone else called me forehead I would break down and cry teachers would find me in the bathroom it was horrible I thought about hurting myself and I was so selfconcious my mother would always say hunny they are just jealous of you but I didnt beleive her why would everyone be so mean if that was the reason they continued to bully me she would come to school and I would be talking to other girls and she would call them all over and tell them all to not talk to me or look at me this would go on for days I also recall onne day in 6th grade I was outside and I was cold so a boy from school gave me his jacket to wear when she got to school she saw me when the teachers were not looking her and another girl came over to me and told me if I didnt take it off they would never be my friends again and I had to tell the boy I didnt like him so I did well the next day she was wearing his jacket but what could I say I was scared of her this continued untill 7th grade I was so unhappy my mother told me over and over that they were jealous of me but I thought that was impossible she was cute more matured than I am now in adulthood I thought it was rediculous untill one day we were at a party it was 8th grade I didnt go to school with her anymore but we would still hang out at other places they were the only friends I had well at the party this older guy was hitting on me telling me I was going to be so beatiful when I got older so ofcourse she went over to him and just sat beside him and started flirting then she kissed him and when she did he looked at me like omg I do not agree with this so when we wnt to the bathroom I told her and she brokedown and started apologizing to me saying that she sorry for all the hurtful things that she has done in the past that she loves me im a good freind and that she has always just been JEALOUS of me….. I was like what wow! I can believe this my mom was right she has never done anything hurtful to me since then and to this day we are still freinds 13 years later best freinds at that but I still have self esteem problems I have very bad anxiety I dont like people to look at me and I never put my self out there and I beleive its to do with all the bullying for those years I dont thin I will ever be the way I was before it started even though im older I understand and know why it happend its still has scarred me

  7. Thank you for sharing your story, Heather. It was brave of you. It is hard to have to tell these and relive them, I know. Keep writing if you feel there is more to say.

    • I’m at tv producer in LA for a national talk show and we’re looking to educate viewers on cyberbullying. We have a wonderful expert coming on to help anyone who is in need of advice on the topic. If you’re a mom of a teen who is being bullied, or you yourself are a teen who is being bullied, please send an email to: talkshowtv2010@yahoo.com for more information. This is a great platform to educate viewers on what cyberbullying is, how to stop it, and to hear stories from real life people who have gone through it, or are going through it.

  8. im chantel and i am i gr.9 i have benn bullied all my life since kindergarden ive been known as a disease and people wont go near me… it hurts to see some1 laugh in your face and worse when u cant stop it. my family has tried everything from talking to the bullys parents to confronting the school to self defence i would like to know how to stop being bullied it has gotten so bad i visit a familycouncilor daily. i look through my clothes for a half and hour thinking will they leave me alone if i wear this? i change my hair i wear make-up i try everything and it doesnt work its hard having a sister whos so pretty and me be the ugly one i now believe iam ugly because of bullying i have no self- esteeme

    • hi in my middle school and highschool yrs i never found a way to stop the bullying but i thnk you are very brave because you have contacted a counsler i never did i jut delt with it myself i litterly threw up every morning b4 school started for yrs because i was that upset about attending the only thing that has helped for me is age and no more school im only 24 so still young but i realized that it wasnt me there was anything wrong with it was them they did it to make them selves feel better i see that now and i also know now that they were jealous of me im very attracive and always have been and i never saw it i always thought i was the ugly girl but i now know i wasnt and i was even more and stil am more beautiful on the inside and im above all of that jealousy and mean spirits stay strong live above it your hell will soon be over i know you are special and a much more beautiful person than them thats why this is happening to you god is just testing you stay strong

  9. I was not only bullied but I was on the bullying side too. I was jealous and wanted to be cool so I bullied. When I was bullied however, I came home crying everyday and I still remember those days where i felt like if i died, no one would even care. THings were hard those days, and although everything has worked out, I will never be able to forget those days. If you would like more details just contact me.

  10. Great blog and best of luck with your documentary. I’m just about to launch an open source mobile bullying incident reporting tool.
    I was bullied like many kids and created this tool to ensure all schools could have access to it. It’s free and encourages schools to create a bullying policy.
    Schools are welcome to pilot the software prior to the release date. Just make contact through the website. http://bullyproof.frontlinesms.com

    FrontlineSMS:BullyProof
    Open source mobile bullying incident reporting system

    A new social innovation. A tool to help reduce bullying which enables students to report anonymously and schools to respond instantly to bullying or cyber bullying incidences. FrontlineSMS:BullyProof software is available free to all schools and organisations that have an existing policy on bullying. Be great if you could post the slideshow here on you blog. I can provide you with the link.

    Thanks

    Brendan

  11. i am writing a blog for the first time which talks about my experience of when I was bullied and how I overcomed it after 3 years

    • Your feedback means a lot to me. I have tried to keep everyone informed about what’s happening to solve bullying while also trying to put a human face on the problem. I am so glad to hear that you feel it is a worthwhile site.

  12. Thank you for creating this excellent resource. There is a lot to be said about having a place to share stories becsuse the tremendous shame both children and adults carry about this trauma makes many people/places seem unsafe. I am particularly interested in the correlation between history of having been bullied and the development of chronic/serious disease in later life and plan to research this.
    All the best to you

    • I have put up a few articles on this website about that subject. They can help lead you to more research and answers. That is definitely part of the Long Term Effects that I also believe happen due to chronic bullying.

  13. My son created a facebook Group on Bullying. he has been on ABC-6 & NBC-10 in philly and also in a few newspaper and on line blogs. He also started a web-page also called The Equality Project. If you get a chance Please email me and I can give you more info and my sons email. I am sure he could share a lot of stories with you
    Thank you

  14. I’m so glad you started this blog! School bullying is nothing new and was once considered a character-building rite of passage for our children, but now it is seen for what it is–a form of victimization and abuse. As a children’s author, I do a lot of school visits and invariably the students and I end up talking about their bullying experiences. Bullying is by no means harmless and it can leave lasting psychological scars. You might want to add my book Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity, and Put-Downs to your list of books about bullying.

    • I took a look at your book and it looks like a good addition to the books listed here. I’m happy to add it. Thank you for your effort in the battle to end bullying.

  15. Thanks for checking out my book and I agree that this is one of the best bullying blogs out there. It gives me hope when I see the issue of bullying receiving so much public attention instead of being buried and avoided. Thanks for doing all you’re doing!

    • Thanks, Adam. And to you also, success as you work with your Dojo to help children and, I assume, adults gain confidence through the teaching of martial arts. For, by teaching confidence in ones self, you are teaching them confidence in their ability to defend themselves against bullying attacks.

  16. I can’t wait to have my daughter read these stories! When you are in 5th grade, advice and comfort from Mom doesn’t hold nearly as much weight as similar stories from strangers. I’m hoping she will gain confidence and comfort in knowing she is not alone . . . I certainly have. Now I can finally take a step forward and really help her. Thank you!

    • Thank you, Taylor for saying that. Certainly that is what this website is about. While as parents we work to be there and comfort our children, sometimes we forget that we also shelter them to protect them. That is certainly a natural instinct.

      By sharing these stories and the myriad of stories you can find on the web authored by others, we help our children to understand that they are not alone and that others have dealt with the issue of bullying. That is step one in the larger issue of bullying prevention.

      Your feedback means so much to me as I work to help others through this website and other future endeavors.

  17. I agree with you, Taylor. That’s why bibiotherapy is so wonderful! All the stories in my book are based on true experiences related to me during my school visits, and what I couldn’t get over was how totally open and candid the kids were. They held nothing back, and some of them had been through some pretty excruciating experiences (and survived). My book is dedicated to a 12-year-old Minnesota boy who, unfortunately, did not survive. That’s why I love sites like this one–because the issue is being talked about and faced and people can receive the support they need!
    Sandy

    • Thanks, Sandy for sharing your thoughts and I agree with your biotherapy comment. Your book “Hot Issues, Cool Choices (a 2008 Mom’s Choice Gold Award Recipient) is a excellent book for those parents and teachers looking for solutions and help supporting issue of bullying. I’d recommend it for those looking for a good resource.

      It’s amazing that the kids were so open with you on your visits. Telling stories when they are young must be easier than having adults recount their stories.

  18. I think you’re right–that kids are a lot less inhibited than adults. I know I wouldn’t be quite so open to share my pain the way these kids were. Thanks for giving us a forum to share our ideas!
    Sandy

  19. Message
    Subject: RE: School Bullying
    Posted By: jessie tompkins
    Comment:
    as an employee of the Montgomery Alabama Board of Education, I reported gang bullying and threats against me and other students and nothing was done. Actually the Board voted to fire me after I filed a police report, I further went to the media after the police report went missing. To complicate things, the Alabama Education Association (AEA) the states teacher union quit during my hearing.

  20. I just checked out your website and it is brilliant. Having been bullied at school myself, I became interested in the subject again after my granddaughters friend was being bullied at school. I put together 2 books for children that are being bullied, using adult self-help techniques that are encapsulated into a story. These were the methods I used to ensure that my children weren’t going to have the negative school experience that I did and they work. In fact I use this method everytime I go into a meeting! Check out the free report http://www.empowermentfoundation.co.uk

  21. This is an awesome blog/site. I am also looking into starting a blog/site of my own, and bullying is going to be my #1 priority. I hope I can make it as well read and comprehensive as yours.

    Bullying and suicide is something that hurts my heart. I’ve never been bullied or have been a bully, but I have been suicidal. Also, as a teacher I was able to help a student who came to me crying because she almost killed herself because of bullying. I thank God she felt comfortable enough to come to me for help, and we were able to work through it.

    Now with everything that is in the media about bullying and suicide, I feel I can’t just sit around complaining about it. I want to be pro-active in showing educators, parents and students how hurtful and fatal bullying can be.

    I hope to get to know you better and maybe work with you on this horrible epidemic plaguing this generation of kids (ie the cyberbullying).

  22. Thanks, Lisa, for your positive feedback. I’m sorry to hear about your suicidal thoughts in your past. I am glad, though, that you have been able to help others within your job and care.

    The more of us that take up this cause, the better. I am happy to share and work together with you. Feel free to contact me any time.

  23. goood work! At least it helps moms to explain to kids that it was not somethng wrong with them that they were bullied. Also that we can cope … also preventing bullying… talking to teachers will help. In Indian schools teacher observation to save a situation is hardly noticed or rewarded.

  24. Including teacher intrvntion strategies to tackle bullying in schools in the teacher education courses would help so much. Pupil tr contributions of their own experiences wd add to curriculum transanction and development on the issue.

    • Hi Jessie. I looked over your links and can you further explain about how this case relates to bullying? I felt the story is very sad and tragic, but didn’t get the clarification I think you were looking for. Does this tie to the case you mentioned before, other than that some of the people caught were involved in both?

  25. These kids prior to being arrested for murder, bullied kids at school, Neco Bailey and Sam Giles were school bullies and made deadly threats daily against staff and student. see Article :

    http://blog.al.com/live/2009/11/montgomery_teen_party_shooting.html

    The results of bullying is that a student died and the problem of bullying for these two could have prevent the death of a student, if administrators had acted earlier and not ignored the problem.

    unlike the death of 15-year-old Phoebe Prince, who committed suicide, bullying and bullies kill…………………

  26. I am now an adult and I was bullied 5th through 7th grade by my best friend I didnt know why they always picked on me when I first met her she was so sweet we were best friends about halfway through the school year she started making fun of me in front of everyone saying I had a big head big forehead and from then on she and everyone else called me forehead I would break down and cry teachers would find me in the bathroom it was horrible I thought about hurting myself and I was so selfconcious my mother would always say hunny they are just jealous of you but I didnt beleive her why would everyone be so mean if that was the reason they continued to bully me she would come to school and I would be talking to other girls and she would call them all over and tell them all to not talk to me or look at me this would go on for days I also recall onne day in 6th grade I was outside and I was cold so a boy from school gave me his jacket to wear when she got to school she saw me when the teachers were not looking her and another girl came over to me and told me if I didnt take it off they would never be my friends again and I had to tell the boy I didnt like him so I did well the next day she was wearing his jacket but what could I say I was scared of her this continued untill 7th grade I was so unhappy my mother told me over and over that they were jealous of me but I thought that was impossible she was cute more matured than I am now in adulthood I thought it was rediculous untill one day we were at a party it was 8th grade I didnt go to school with her anymore but we would still hang out at other places they were the only friends I had well at the party this older guy was hitting on me telling me I was going to be so beatiful when I got older so ofcourse she went over to him and just sat beside him and started flirting then she kissed him and when she did he looked at me like omg I do not agree with this so when we wnt to the bathroom I told her and she brokedown and started apologizing to me saying that she sorry for all the hurtful things that she has done in the past that she loves me im a good freind and that she has always just been JEALOUS of me….. I was like what wow! I can believe this my mom was right she has never done anything hurtful to me since then and to this day we are still freinds 13 years later best freinds at that but I still have self esteem problems I have very bad anxiety I dont like people to look at me and I never put my self out there and I beleive its to do with all the bullying for those years I dont thin I will ever be the way I was before it started even though im older I understand and know why it happend its still has scarred me
    +1

  27. Thank you for making this website. I feel so much less alone. Thanks to you and all the wonderful people who have contributed to this blog. Keep up the good work!

  28. Hi everyone,
    Great insight!
    I remember being bullied at school and how it affected myself. Years later and now 46yrs old i started work on a project. I was making an anti bully program to help primary school children. When i started this project i found myself right back there in school as a 10yr old. It was very difficult to revisit those memories yet one trip i needed to take so i could get that out of my head and into my program.
    It too was like what you described. It was very cathartic to get the feelings down and out of my head and into the real world.
    I’ve included the website to my anti bully program. Please feel free to go there as there are tons of free resources for teachers and children to use and learn. I recently added an anti bully book for kids which can be found by looking in the bottom right hand corner of the screen and by clicking on the boy with the red x through him. It give tips to children on how to deal with bullying issues.
    Once again a great post!

    http://www.wix.com/SpeakUpToYourTeacher/Order-page

    Johnny

  29. My daughter is a college student and is still being bullied. I think young adults today are just meaner that they used to be. Any idea what resources she can check out? It’s keeping her from fully enjoying her time at school.

    • I am so sorry to hear that bullying continues for your daughter. I have included many resources on the right hand side of this page in the links. Please use these as needed to find support and help for her. Also, I would hope that her college would have a counseling and student support center where she can seek help as well. I am wishing you and your daughter the best of luck in solving her problem.

  30. Kimberly, if you’ll allow me to offer some suggestions-

    1- She NEEDS to join some kind of social group (Scouts? Sports?) ONE TOWN AWAY from where you live. In otherwords, close enough to be practical, yet apart from the kids who are causing problems.

    2- She MUST read, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnagie. Its the classic text on human relations,and I re-read it every year.

    3- I’d STRONGLY recommend she get involved in some kind of volunteer work. It will raise her spirits like magic. When we are good to others, we are best to ourselves.

    4 – Enroll her in some HARDCORE martial arts classes. Forget tae kown do (its useless) and most other traditional arts. They take too long to get proficient at. Krav Maga, contact kickboxing, Brazilian jiu jitsu, MMA will deliver maximum results in minimum time.

    I do wish you well, and if you have any questions or if I can help, feel free to contact me.

    Adam Blum

    http://emergingcenter.wordpress.com

    http://www.totalbullysolution.com

  31. I had been arguing with my close friend on this issue for quite a while, base on your ideas prove that I am right, let me show him your webpage then I am sure it must make him buy me a drink, lol, thanks.

    -Murk

  32. Andrea :This blog site is fantastic!! Great job! I am working to encourage young people (tweens) to talk about bullying, and hopefully prevent it as much as possible. One tool I am using – with FANTASTIC feedback I might add – is the new novel called Strike One! by Andrea Prostko. It is about 3 boys that go to school together – one is a bully, one is his victim, and the third is the bully’s friend that watches and must decide how to react. The book is a great tool for teachers and parents, and the kids love it!! It has started some great dialogue about how we treat others and the consequences of our actions…I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!!

    • Hi Andrea. Your book sounds very interesting. If you would like, I have reviewed a few books on my site and would be happy to read and review it here for my readers. Feel free to contact me if you would like.

  33. Hi,

    It’s nice to see there are blogs on bullying.I would be interested on sharing my story if you’re going to be making a documentary about bullying and looking at bullying in the workplace. I have been bullied in the workplace by two different school directors and two school principals and have observed it a lot as well in my work as a teacher in international schools overseas. Such schools seems to attract an inordinate number of bullies.

    I have to admit that I was also a bit of a bully myself in my childhood, but fortunately now I am the defendor of the bullied in the workplace, as well as a victim or target.

    By the way, I am trying to start my own blog about bullying, but I want to focus on bullying in the workplace. There seem to be more sites than there were 3 or 4 years ago but not a whole lot of blogs for individuals to share their experiences and feelings. Do you have any suggestions?

    Let me know if you need my help. Would love to hear from you.

    Liz

  34. I am older now but in grade school I was bullied, seems strange to spit on his grave, I wanted to do more but his kids visit his grave and its all good enough.

  35. Someone needs to get TV writers to stop glorifying bullying and showing it to be acceptable behavior. Three of the worst, in my opinion, are Sean Spencer on “Psych”, Delko on “CSI Miami” and Tony Dinozo on “NCIS”. These guys all abuse people around them and get angry when anyone treats them the same way. When kids see their parents watching this behavior without comment, they consider it to be acceptable. If the writers consider this to be normal, I certainly wouldn’t want to spend much time around them.

    • Interesting observation, Carl. One of the issues with how TV does things is that it shows life, including bullying. The problem is many of the “kids” or “cartoon” shows glorify bullying. Shows such as “Family Guy”, “Simpsons”, and many of the Disney shows even have themes and characters that are bullies. While some try to emphasize the wrong behavior, many just have the character act they way they do, without consequences. It’s certainly an interesting discussion point.

  36. Given the past week, I can’t imagine being alive in American and not agreeing that the time has come to address bullying for what it is: physical and emotional abuse. There are zero tolerance policy for guns so strict in post-Columbine schools, that a Florida student was expelled for a year for bringing a toy gun to school. What would happen if schools and parents adopted a zero tolerance policy on bullying? We live in a world where new behaviors can be taught… sadly many have been born of tragedy… post Columbine, post 911, what is now acceptable in schools and airports has forever changed. We can stand up together against the outdated notion that bullying is acceptable, or a normal rite of passage. Bullying now includes cyber-campaigns where kids are no longer safe in their own homes, and privacy isn’t private. We must embrace a new standard and expect people to responsibly use technology. If we don’t, we help victims lose hope.

  37. RE: Zero Tolerance

    Jael, every attempt to declare war on a social problem has met with dismal failure. All of them. Consider the wars on: drugs, poverty, homelessness… can you think of one success? NO.

    Bullying and social cruelty are huge issues, but endorsing zero tolerance is one of the WORST solutions. Its another instance of a once free and independent population happily enslaving themselves with the chains of fascism.

    You mention the 6 year old who was expelled for having a clear plastic toy gun in his bookbag. EXPELLED! Does this seem reasonable to you? To me, its inexcusably insane, and abuses like that happen every single day in America. Zero Tolerance gives otherwise harmless dolts unlimited power to exercise and abuse their stupidity.

    I think its sad that you choose to identify yourself as a “victim”. I have no expectation that the human species will adopt a new standard of behavior in order to give you “hope”. There may be a chance you can accept whatever hand you were dealt and move forward without self-pity or complaint.

    http://www.totalbullysolution.com

    • Spoken like a true bully Adam. Read between the lines of everything you have written here.

      It’s YOUR fault you are getting bullied, you need to accomodate the bullies (go to another town to join a group!!!)

      Lean to be assertive (become a bully)

      Learn to use violence as a routine method of solving social problems (go to martial arts schools to learn how to physically attack others)

      Bullying is a big problem but….

      The really problem is all you “victims” who refuse to see that you aren’t really victims, you just need to toughen up.

      Adam, I suggest you read Mark Twain’s story, “The War Prayer” where the real meaning of what is said in the best of intentions is exposed in all its ugly, painful reality. It’s an excellent lesson in self awareness, and the lack of it.

      • @ Adam,
        We are talking about young children here who are still learning social skills just to deal with normal everyday things.
        So I disagree with the self pity/complaining comment regarding victims of bullying. Do you really understand the impact that bullying has on a young child’s mind and life?
        It is very easy to type those words you wrote but try saying that to a parent face to face who’s child has taken their own life because of bullying behavior towards them.
        Children do not choose to be a victim. They are selected by the bully. As for zero tolerance and you saying that it is one of the worst decisions ever made, again you are completely wrong. NO child should have to suffer any form of bullying and if zero tolerance is what is needed to help combat this serious life threatening problem it should be enforced asap. One child’s life lost because of bullying is one too many to me.It should never be allowed to get to that level in the first place.
        Johnny

        Website: http://www.wix.com/speakuptoyourteacher/order-page

      • Wow, Tom. Let’s get some clarity

        I’m not blaming the victim at all. Anyone can find themselves in a horrible situation through no fault of their own. I’m saying that we all choose what meaning to attach to those circumstances no matter how bad they are. Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist who survived the death camps of the Holocaust..and he makes that exact point in his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”.

        In no way do I think there’s anything wrong with the victim, either. And by getting away from the one’s who are causing the problems, they can meet other people, make new friends and get validated.

        I also suggested reading, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” – a classic on human relations that’s sold over 15 million copies globally. Yes, I support people getting along – not exactly a radical position.

        Let’s define our terms. ” Assertiveness: A type of communication that consists of sharing wants and needs honestly in a safe manner. This presumes respect for the boundaries of one’s self and others, which boundaries include the physical self, possessions, and relationships. It also presumes an interest in the fulfillment of needs and wants through cooperation.” ~Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assertiveness (Are you suggesting its healthier to be submissive? Or belligerent?)

        I wonder if you can understand the difference between an aggressive attack and a ‘justifiable use of force for self-defense”. I believe that every creature in nature has the right to defend itself. I’ve been traning and teaching martial arts for almost 30 years- and you really don’t have a clue what they’re about.
        I’ve seen it literally hundreds of times – kids who train in martial arts develop more self-discipline, project more confidence, and show better judgment.

        I’ve worked with scores of kids who were being bullied, and I helped them completely turn their situations around. Not through “violence” but by learning to master themselves.

        Johnny-
        As children, we have very little control over what happens to us. As adults, we do. The ‘self-pity’ comment was directed at adults who cling to pain over events long past that can’t be changed. To me, compassion is helping move a person out of their suffering .Passing laws doesn’t do that… group sing-a-longs don’t do it either.

        Zero Tolerance policies have been studied extensively- the reality is that they dont work. They have been documented to cause more problems than they solve. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero_tolerance#cite_ref-2
        School anti-bullying programs have a jaw-dropping rate of failure as well. http://www.wce.wwu.edu/Depts/SPED/Forms/Kens%20Readings/Violence/Bullying/Bul%20Effectiveness%20of%20whole%20school%20antibullying%20programs%20Smith%202004.pdf

        I’m just citing the facts.

        * When did overcoming adversity become a bad thing in America?

    • Jessie Tompkins I really enjoyed reading this article, the Montgomery Public School System in Montgomery Alabama…apparently , refuses to address the documented evidence I presented …..of bullying against students and teachers………Bullying was so ba…d… at Fews Alternative School that students would bring weapons to school and the administration would cover it up………….
      The Southern Proverty law Center in Montgomery has develop some educational programs to address violence and bullying. But I am concern that people aren’t going to see bullying as violence , that results in death and long term emotional abuse.

      1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqalhZ7jNxc&f eature=related

      2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=457KMceLrxw

      these same kids ( Sam Giles, Neco Bailey, Jhvarskey Lewis ……….) Killed or shot a total of seven people after my evidence was presented to law enforcment and the school board.

      3. http://www.wsfa.com/Global/story.asp?S=11488979

      These kids would bully students and teachers daily and the administration would look the other way.

      • Adam said…

        Johnny-
        As children, we have very little control over what happens to us. As adults, we do. The ‘self-pity’ comment was directed at adults who cling to pain over events long past that can’t be changed. To me, compassion is helping move a person out of their suffering .Passing laws doesn’t do that… group sing-a-longs don’t do it either.

        Zero Tolerance policies have been studied extensively- the reality is that they dont work. They have been documented to cause more problems than they solve. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero_tolerance#cite_ref-2
        School anti-bullying programs have a jaw-dropping rate of failure as well. http://www.wce.wwu.edu/Depts/SPED/Forms/Kens%20Readings/Violence/Bullying/Bul%20Effectiveness%20of%20whole%20school%20antibullying%20programs%20Smith%202004.pdf

        I’m just citing the facts.

        Adam,
        Teaching children martial arts also does not deal with their bullying concerns. It could possibly give a child the potential to physically react to a bully situation which is not something a child should be encouraged to do.
        As to your reference about sing along to a song.
        I assume that this is in reference to the song on my anti bully program.
        Music is just one aspect of the program and music whether you agree or not Adam does help children.
        It builds confidence and team work in children whilst also building stronger relations between teacher and student. Music has been proven many times over to help children learn no matter what the subject may be and that is a fact that you seem to struggle to accept.
        Please re visit my website again Adam and see the children from Canada performing,look closely at the reaction from the children at the very end,they are very aware of what bullying is and very confident about what they can do to stop it. Those same children,17 in total performed this song in front of 2000 people the following week at a concert and received a standing ovation for their efforts but more importantly Adam those same children within three weeks of using the program six of them felt safe enough to come forward and speak up about bullying issues to their teacher and the ripple effect from those children speaking up has now filtered through the entire school. All the children in this school now understand that victims will speak up about bullying and that can only be a good thing. To me it is always about encouraging those children suffering from bullying to find a way of speaking up and if music is what helps them do so then it can only be a positive thing for everyone concerned.
        Johnny

        Website: http://www.wix.com/speakuptoyourteacher/order-page

  38. I also wrote a blog about bully. I do not have kids yet. But, I plan to have someday. I fear my kids will be bullied. I remmember I was bullied during high school, but I did not consider too serious like these kids of today.

  39. You might share it, it’s your choice but a compacted version of our bullying story is here http://redhaircrow.com/2010/10/06/bullying-a-preventable-epidemic-a-personal-journey/ After having a child assaulted and bashed in the head with a locker because bullies questioned his gender or sexuality in 6th grade (!) and it was beyond unacceptable especially in that the school his attended was dismissive of the many, many occurences of daily abuses. We’ve spend 3 years fighting a daily battle against such behaviour and finally found a school and principal within the same school system who was pro-active and responsive to stop bullying. Amazing the former principal was so dismissive and patronizing even though my son survived a suicide attempt after severe harrassment. That so many schools continue to dismiss these very real and epidemic numbers is irresponsible, disgusting and fully into culpability for their lack of attention.

  40. As I am also writing a blog about bullying I am very interested in all of this! Bullying is one of the most terrifying things that can happen to anyone! Take a look at my blog and see for yourselves what I have been coming accross! It’s scary!

    aoifefinan.wordpress.com —> thats the link to my wordpress page!

    Yours,
    Aoife Marie x

  41. Lets address the real Problem: why we are missing the mark on bullying.

    By Mucheru Njaga

    Author of Patch: Assumption is a crime.
    I was a bully.
    I didn’t plan on being one. In fact, before then, I was a victim of bullying. As a freshman in a all boys boarding school, I along with all of the junior students served at the behest of the “Prefects”, a small group of senior students. They ruled our school with a heavy hand and had more powers than the teachers. They bullied us physically and mentally , once we had to jump on our knees, other times they banned us from wearing pants and limited us to shorts to serve as a constant reminder to who we are. Verbal humiliation was an everyday occurrence as well.

    Four years later, I became a “prefect”, a bully and part of a system I once despised. We would raid the freshman area in the middle of the night and make them follow whatever we ordered them to do at 2am or face severe punishment. We called them names in front of the dinning halls and used them as practice dummies during rugby games.

    All of this was acceptable – condoned by the school faculty at the time because the “Prefects” were seen as the guardians and mentors of the young students. Today the danger of bullying and its impact on our society is finally shaking many people awake. Many groups and organizations have made significant steps in our fight against bullying but there seems to be a growing number of bullying related deaths in America and the world.(STATISTIC)

    So where’s the disconnect? Why are we letting this happen?
    Where does bullying start?
    In our efforts to address this growing problem, we tend to focus more on the end result of bullying rather than why it starts. The kids we recognize as bullies and vilify as the aggressors could easily be our very own children or next door neighbor. In other words, for every victim, there is a perpetrator, and I set out to find out what turns a lovable kid or teen into a bully. For the last couple of years, I compiled a case studies I believe could be a catalyst in our bid to stop bullying.
    Throughout my entire experience, I noticed the common motivation behind bullying is fear. As a victim, I was afraid to fight for what I knew was right and as a bully, I feared loosing the tight grip of power I held. It is this fear that keeps things status-quo and continues the cycle.
    The same basic principle plays out in schools today. Bullying is almost always a direct or indirect by product of fear. “Fear” of being labeled, “fear” of being uncool, fear of being seen as weak. Most of not all instances of bullying are rooted on fear. Sadly, it is this fear that prevents kids from living a free life, where they are free to be different, to be gay, to love a certain kind of music or activity, to be themselves.
    So how does true change take place?
    Define bullying with your kids and talk it out: For teens public perception has a substantial influence on their daily decisions. We need to clearly explain to kids what bullying is, how to spot bullying tendencies within themselves and how to avoid acting them out.
    Take away the cool factor:
    Show kids that bullying stems from fear, and we could effectively render bullying as an “uncool” deed. The largely successful anti-smoking, “Truth” campaign and the anti-drug, “Rise above the influence” campaign ads help significantly reduce those habits among young people. A well executed marketing campaign endorsed by a popular teen celebrity that showcases bullying as an unacceptable act can help garner attention for the cause.

    Be aware of tendencies towards bullying developing in kids:
    Educators, parents and children alike must be able to recognize the signs and symptoms of bullying before the problem gets out of hand. If there is a widespread understanding that fear is the underlying emotion perpetrator of the bullying cycle, those who observe a child who exhibits signs of fear and insecurity can spot a problem early on and raise concerns.

    Encourage self reflection:
    Talk with children who are bullying others and encourage them to consider their behaviors. Often, another problem is bubbling beneath the surface and it is necessary to determine the rot of the behavior in order to fix it. Since this self-examination can prevent those problems form manifesting into something more harmful, the earlier it takes place, the better.

    Promote open communication about bullying problems:

    We have to change the way kids view talking to adults and authority figures about bullying issues. Kids are often worried about “snitching” and the negative perception of telling adults when they are having these types of problems. We must convince them that it is brave courageous and admirable to put an end to the situation instead of remaining silent.

    Mucheru Njaga is the author of “Patch: Assumption is a crime”, a young adult novel based in his personal experience with teen bullying that encourages debate and discussion among teachers, parents and students.

    http://www.patchthebook.com
    http://www.mnjaga.com

  42. Glad I found this site, there’s a lot of excellent information here. You know, I think a lot of people have experienced at least one bullying incident in their lives, but it’s the long-term systematic abuse that really tears the heart out. I’m not sure that a lot of people realize the damage done…many of us don’t “outgrow it”. In addition to suicide and depression, many have had their lives practically ruined by it. They (we) never recover our confidence or self-esteem. We bury our pain in drugs and alcohol, choose the wrong partner because we’re convinced that we’ll never get anyone better, tolerate abuse because we think we deserve it. And, as a cartoon here on the site illustrates, many of the bullies don’t “outgrow it” either. They’re out there name-calling and spreading hatred and devisiveness. We need to become a kindler, gentler nation, or risk coming apart at the seams.

    [URL=http://lumen-thebullyingblog.blogspot.com/]bullying blog[/URL]

  43. i am a boy who see people getting bullied all the time. What i feel about this happening is that i feel sorry for the person being bullied

  44. dont laugh at me
    dont call me names
    dont get your pleasure from my shame
    in gods eyes were all the same
    some day well all have perfect wings
    dont laugh at me

  45. Hello! Is it Okay if I ask something kind of off topic? I am trying to view this page on my new iPad nonetheless it will not show up properly, do you may have any options? Thanks in advance!

    • I am not sure why it won’t show up on your iPAD correctly, but have heard similar stories about the iPAD from others. Have you tried just subscribing to the RSS for this site on the iPAD? I would guess that that would work.

  46. hi i am in 10th grade and i am 15 years old, i am doing project on bullying because i feel like its a big issue going on around the world.i was going through your website and it has been very helpful but i would like to find any programs/workshops or anyone that i could interview, i would be very pleased if you can reply as soon as you can
    or if i can get anymore research from anyone from here xD

  47. Online survey re bullying treatment best practices. The Bullying Prevention Project (BPP), a non-profit organization dedicated to reducing incidence of bullying, is compiling best practices for inclusion in a free, online handbook for professionals working with children to reduce aggressive and bullying behavior. BPP will be very grateful if people experienced in working with children on these issues can assist this initiative by taking a few minutes to complete a simple, seven question online survey at the following link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/X88MYCC.

  48. How Ironic I was a Air Force brat and we moved to Lexington Ma in 1969, I went to the Adams school I was in the fifth grade. I would have to walk down the hill from Lexington ave, and the name calling and abuse would start on the way everyday. I would lay awake every night dreading the next day’s abuse. We lived all over the world but New England was the worst place on earth too be a transplant. It does effect you for life.

  49. Bullying in school has reached epidemic proportions throughout the world. To help combat this we have just had anti-bully week in the UK. I’m an adult and also a teacher who still remembers being bullied at school and I have my own concerns with anti bully week. Please try to think back to when you were 9 years old and how you felt at that age. Anti-bully week as admirable as it is is simply not enough, In fact I would go as far to say that it is more hurtful to a child suffering from bullying to know that we as adults only care deeply enough to help them one week out of fifty two weeks a year with this serious problem that can be life threatening to them. One weeks grace from being bullied is how a child sees it no matter how well our intentions are. Children want adults to pay attention to bullying behavior every day of the school year and not just one week. A bullied child may spend anti-bully week worrying about what is going to happen the following week. The same child will welcome one weeks grace from bullying for sure but deep down they also know that it will be wiped from memory the following week on the playground when it’s back to business as usual for the bully.
    That is exactly how I see it, knowing that I was one of those bullied kids and only someone who has been bullied can truly understand how that feels inside, no amount of board meetings are going to help change this situation until children are actively involved in those meetings and adults actually listen to what children have to say before making any decisions. No bullied child cares about how many qualifications you have or how clever your words are spun on this issue. All the child wants to know is when are you going to stop me from being bullied and who do I turn to at school who will actually step in and stop it! Address those two key issues for children in school and you have a fighting chance.
    Look at it from a childs point of view… Lets say a child falls over on the playground and graze their knee,the response from an adult is instant! We instantly DO something to help that child but yet when an adult see’s bullying take place there is always a pause, it should not be like that. We should respond instantly in the same way as a grazed knee because that is how a child see’s it. No one wants to see a child suffer but the reality for the child being bullied at school is.. You just saw me being bullied and did nothing about it. How hurtful is that for a young mind to process? We teach our children to do the right thing/help each other and yet they see adults turn a blind eye to bullying when they really need us to step in. As adults we know that this is not always the case ,not all adults respond this way because it is simply untrue but to a child suffering at the hands of a bully they will not see it that way at all. I know I didn’t!
    As I was developing my own anti-bully program I already had lots of information to draw upon from my own experience of it and I also spoke with lots of children about bullying. I also come from a large family and one nephew and niece that I spoke to gave me so much information that it was like I had been transported back in time to when I was at school. They were telling me the exact same things kids were saying and doing on the playground over 30 years ago! Another very important thing which is easily overlooked by schools in general is that if they did actually stop bullying in school the children’s grades would naturally improve! They would improve ten fold because the child no longer sits in the classroom engrossed in their own worrying thoughts about what is going to happen to them once the bell rings. Their minds are free from all those worrying thoughts so they can focus on their school work. Yet we waste so much time and money focusing on statistics when the answers are right under the principal’s nose. Stop the bullying behavior! There is no quick easy fix to this problem because without all the teachers being on the same page and making a stand stepping in every time they see bullying behavior it will continue. Teachers also need to get back in touch with their own childhood to really understand how this problem seriously affects children’s ability to learn. Think like a child,see it from their point of view, listen to what is important to a child for them to be able to speak up so the teacher can step in and begin to help them. My program is a whole school program. Everyone is involved and no one is left out and it is created for children to work together with teachers. Bullying behavior is what I look at addressing in my program and once teachers realize that it is this behavior that needs their attention the more chance we have of seeing kids running home from school all excited to tell their parents of how great it was at school today instead of running home in fear because they are being chased down the road by a school bully.
    Johnny

    website: http://www.wix.com/speakuptoyourteacher/order-page

  50. Thanks so much for your work. I find this website very healing. I was also bullied in Lexington…long, painful story. I am very interested in your documentary and would be most interested in collaborating with you.

  51. I read the story and other related ones in the Boston Globe. It is so good for victims of bullying, like me to see other victims of bullying come forward as adults. I have not started to explore this site and am hoping that I find people with bullying experiences like my own. In my case, my bully was my mother, and her bullying went on well into my adult life. Self-diagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder? You bet. I blame her and my aloof and problematic father for my pathological shyness, my social awkwardness, and my decades of social and emotional isolation. I know that I am unlikely to get even an apology from my mother, let alone any kind of acknowledgment or effort on her part to help me now as I face my current struggles. All I want is validation for my experience and practically enforceable legislation that prevents other parents and adults from doing to other children what mine did to me.

  52. And I forgot to mention the one other thing that I blame my mother (and my problematic and disengaged father) for — decades of lost wages. Decades of social and emotional isolation and decades of lost wages. This is what bullying does to a person.

  53. I speak to middle schools about how I was bullied in junior high and you are right Alan, it’s helpful to get it off your chest and it heals your own soul. I can’t tell you how many students have come up to me after a speaking engagement and tell me they were bullied. Glad I found your blog, looking forward to reading stories and hopefully post my own one day.

  54. Hello all,I would like to tell my story of how I was bullied for over 10 years. I find it a somewhat daunting task but will slowly undertake this painful but ultimately healing journey.

    I would love to get some feedback on how I would approach a school to speak about bullying prevention. I am not a shy person yet I have social phobia…Sue I understand perfectly your pathological shyness, awkwardness,isolation, etc. I have struggled with these issues for years and in some ways they seem to be getting worse, yet I know that the key to healing is to be and to share with others, to “come out of the closet” if you will. I have experienced a slow and systematic erosion of my dreams and ambitions, have largely held poorly paid jobs and have basically not really finished anything I start…

    • Hi Rosina,

      I am no longer pathologically shy and socially awkward, but I was for decades. I would force myself to go out and mingle and be with people, and I went in to teaching to develop social skills. But those skills have not translated into a career or good jobs. I have three degrees and never made more than about $35,000 annually — and that was only once. I am now unemployed with no job prospects and no unemployment. I don’t even know where to start.

      Volunteering? I do that all the time.

      I know that my parents did this to me. My father feels guilt, but my mother is a classic narcissistic who has no empathy. I saw her at Thanksgiving, and she said to me, “But you’re really doing so well.” That was in front of family, the children and in-laws of her sisters, so of course she had to present me as a success because she is in competition with her sisters. But it was also her way of denying that she had created a problem in anyway. And denial is another form of abuse.

  55. I’d had a succession of relationships, both personally and in business where I’d been bullied and mentally abused. I couldn’t figure it out, because I felt I’d always been doing the right thing by other people, but
    my actual experience was people wanting to take me down, either personally or financially. I heard about this process called PSYCH-K and felt straight away that I needed to do a session with it. I did a one hour session on self esteem issues. Well! Within a couple of days of doing this process, one person who had been giving me a lot of grief with abusive behaviour came to me and said “I don’t know what you’ve been doing, but it’s really rattling my cage and I need to look at my behaviour towards you”. Wow! That was great! But what was even better was when he tried to behave in that old abusive way again, I had this incredible inner strength that I’d never felt before and I knew through and through that his behaviour was nothing to do with me. It was totally about himself. It felt like his words just went straight through me and didn’t touch the sides. Previously I would have gone over and over in my mind how I really must have done something wrong and his upset was obviously my fault. The end result was that it seemed like his words and behaviour bounced straight back to him (energetically) because I now no longer took ownership of them. I was so blown away by the speed that this process worked with that I went and did the training and am now a PSYCH-K facilitator working with people all over the world with the help of Skype. I’ve seen incredible changes in people. One young girl I worked with walked in to our session with her eyes down, body closed over, arms crossed over her chest, and totally unable to make eye contact with me. After the one hour session she walked out, head high, looking me in the eye, arms by her sides, and energetic. I spoke to her mother the other day (a year later) and she is now in a happy relationship with a boyfriend who thinks the world of her, she is doing much better at school and generally a much happier person. The reason this process works is based on the fact that our subconscious mind directs about 95% of what happens in our lives. The problem is most of us don’t realise what we’re holding in our subconscious. We pick up all these ideas about how the world “is” from the time we’re born and we form beliefs that keep running like software in a computer. Scientists also tell us that our hearts put out the most magnetic energy in our whole body. So if we’ve got these underlying strong beliefs (heart energy because they’re strong feelings/emotions) about our unworthiness, that’s what’s going out to the world. They then draw back to us like magnets the very things we’re holding at our subconscious level. Once you change those subconscious beliefs you can expect to see totally different outcomes in your life. Check out books like “Spontaneous Healing of Belief” by Gregg Braden and “The Biology of Belief” by Bruce Lipton

  56. I feel like you could probably teach a class on how to make a great blog. This is fantastic! I have to say, what really got me was your design. You certainly know how to make your blog more than just a rant about an issue. Youve made it possible for people to connect. Good for you, because not that many people know what theyre doing.

  57. Thank you for being a voice for those you have been bullied. My daughter who has the sensory gifts of Asperger’s was bullied in fifth grade and inspired my mission to change the world one person at a time. I wrote a short novel that my son’s school is using in their character education program to teach tolerance and understanding of differences. Thankfully, my daughter’s school now helps us when problems arise, but I know others aren’t so lucky.

    I will be posting a link to your blog on my site and I plan to press your February 2010 story,Tips for the Bully Bystander « Bullying Stories. to include in a post I am working on today.

    • Thank you for your words and inspiration. We have a friend whose son has Asperger’s and we have seen what he has had to go through. It’s been very hard for him and he is a great kid. I am glad you seem to have a school that understands and helps. That is certainly one part of the solution.

  58. Pingback: Taylor Swift: That which does not kill me can only make me stronger | Gossip Gone Good

  59. I am a survivor of Bullying which carried on through my middle school and high school years. To this day, I struggle with the aftermath effects of this terrible journey. I have decided to write a book titled, Bullied: Daydreams and Nightmares. I have attached a snippet from one of the chapters describing a typical day during my freshman year. I hope to be able toassist and draw support from other survivors. It would be wonderful if you could print this story.

    Mike Sanz
    Bluffton, SC
    sanzeducate@aol.com

    Chapter 3
    Freshman Year: Daydreams and Nightmares
    The daily routine from hell was back in session. It was mid-March, as I glanced at the clock and prepared myself for another journey through panic, fear and anxiety. I worked really hard, as I did every day, to look positive until we got through lunch. My smile had worked well that morning and my practiced masculine “How ya doing”? elicited three responses before lunch. After that, it was about preparation and survival. The last period of the day always dragged as my mind waffled between absorbing the teacher’s information and designing the strategic stealth plan. I was up on the second floor, a good distance from my locker. I knew that I would have to think quick, move smart and keep my head down as usual.
    In one swooping motion, the hands of the clock hit 2:20, the teacher’s voice trailed with assignment reminders as I rocketed from the chair. I hit the door quick beating out the majority of the freshmen and made a clean turn to the right dodging the onslaught of my peers. My eyes focused, the legs fired, and I cleared the stairs without a hint of stumbling. The lobby and main staircase at Bishop Guertin High School resounded with historical perspective, philosophy and the ornate points of view of the Catholic faith. There was no time to embrace these spectacles now as I darted down the stairs towards the locker room. My goal had to be achieved; getting to the bus before anyone else.
    As I approached the bottom of the main staircase, I turned sharply to the left and faced the most challenging piece of my daily flight. Ahead lay the narrow, sharply descending stairs cluttered with bodies of numerous pubescent boys. Not all were faced with my dilemma. Many of the guys were relaxed, laughing and taking their sweet time rambling down the stairs. Today was more stagnant than normal from both a kinetic and aromatic perspective. I wanted to scream, “Get out of my way, let me breathe and allow me some peace”. Finally when it seemed like the bottleneck would not cease, I spilled out into the cafeteria framed by khaki green cement blocks.
    Seconds were cerebrally interpreted as minutes as I sprinted towards the left back corner of the café. Woven within the cement blocks, 700 lockers lay in waiting. In one deliberate motion, the right hand hit the combination lock as my left arm hurdled out of my corduroy sport coat. Three muscle memory turns, and the locker creaked open as my right arm cleared the confines of my coat. The nylon blue paisley tie, absurdly wide in width, was removed in a fraction of a moment and tossed on the hook. It shared time with the brown and yellow striper and the mega-sectional red, white and blue edition. I grabbed my so seventies winter jacket, brown with the fox fur collar, leather gloves and psychedelic stocking hat and booked it for the exit.
    The intensity of attaining my immediate objective had to maintain balance with the long range goal of looking cool and calm at all times. I caught myself as I passed through the doors leading to the parking lot and shifted into a calculated and brutally contained cantor. I was struggling to breathe and could feel my heart pounding. Ahead of me, spread out over a large parking lot was a cornucopia of transport vehicles. Standing tall and gleaming brightly among the sedans, (SUV’s and minivans waited twenty years in the future) the yellow chariot called my name. Picking up speed, I galloped towards the bus and hit the stairs hard and fast.
    I swept around the corner and slid heavily into the first seat on the right. Finally, I gave myself a chance to take a breath of air and experience a second of relaxation. Phase one of the afternoon obstacle course was complete. Several seconds passed before the next student jumped on the bus. This gave the bus driver, John, a moment to say hello. John always called me John because he said that I looked like John Lennon. As the kids pushed and stumbled onto the bus, I prepared myself for the fifty minute phase two of the journey. The tension again built up in my shoulders and stomach as I placed myself in the position. It was a tremendous struggle every day to become invisible. As the bus began to traverse forward I opened my book, focused all cerebral neurons on my hearing, and deadened my eyes.
    In a corner of my brain I held on to the hope that after three months out of site, the focus on terror would have ceased. The possibilities swirled. Would it include being pulled to the back and getting beaten up, igniting my books on fire, having cigarette ashes dumped on my head, or having my personal belongings destroyed? Therefore, you can see why every trip was a dangerous and panic laden trek for me. As I deadened my eyes my saving grace, daydreaming, took hold. On this day, my dream carried me to my dentist’s office. I was sitting in the chair enjoying a conversation with the dental hygienist, Doreen.
    We traveled without incident along our route from southern New Hampshire through several northeastern Massachusetts towns. At each stop another bully would prepare to exit. Maintaining my place in dream world, my breathing would come to a halt. As the antagonist meandered down the stairs, a sigh of relief would be accompanied by the thought that one less idea of torture existed on this particular ride. The return home was going as well as could be expected, until the rumbling began. I came out of my dream state when I heard the meshing of words that included “Big Bird”, “faggot”, “runt” and, “spit”. Eventually the words blended into the sentence, “Let’s spit on Big Bird when he gets off the bus”. Anxiety, anger, embarrassment, assessment and preparation all became entangled in my thought process. My stop was approaching and now it was clear what the plan was. There were ten kids still on the bus. Two were leading the charge, three others followed without blinking, two jumped aboard to protect their reputations and three sat and looked away. John, the bus driver heard everything and did nothing.
    John enjoyed stopping the bus on a dime and we were jolted forward by the quick pump of the brakes. I grabbed my bag, barely able to breathe as I initiated my launch to safety. I figured that if I jumped from the bottom step of the bus I could take two quick leaps and be out of spittoon range. Unfortunately, it had been raining and the snow banks were slushy and soft. My first jump landed me in a foot of water causing me to slip and bend backwards. I pushed forward hoping to hit the top of the bank and roll to the other side. As I hit the crest of the bank, I could hear the interfacing of gears as the bus moved forward. I also heard the taunting and the laughing as the cruel action took place. When my foot impacted the wet snow, I sunk to my knee in slush. My momentum carried me over the wet mound of snow and I rolled into a bitterly cold puddle on the other side.
    I stood, slowly, as my ears and nose still captured soft laughter and diesel fuel dancing on waves of sound and smell. I felt numb, not from the frigid environment but from the internal humiliation. I knew that I had been hit and I also knew there was nothing I could do about it. I checked and found that one lugee had caught me in the back and the other was disgustingly seeping into the cotton fibers of my hat. Picking up my soaked school bag, I turned to walk home with a sad grin protruding from my face. I quickly headed into my house, dumped my wet clothes, went into my room, and traveled back to my safe haven. My day dream continued until mom and dad got home. Small talk ensued, but I expressed nothing to suggest that bullying was part of my daily life.

  60. I was bullied throughout most of my years in school before I learned to fight and stand for myself and just wanna I love the purpose of this because till this day I hate it when I see kids getting picked on and i love to see people dealing with the issue

  61. It`s good to see that there is a place that give`s people validation and recognises the affect that bullying has on your life.
    I`m an Aussie, but one of my favourite quotes is from a great american man, Les Brown, ” Never let someone`s opinion of you, become your reality!”.
    I made the decision to be the man I wanted to be long before I heard this quote, because I knew better, therefore I had to be better, for my sake.
    Not better than anyone else, just a better me!
    But I didn`t do it alone, someone will help you see the best in you when you find it impossible, you just need to be willing to ask for and accept the hand of friendship and support.
    Please reach out to someone today, if they are unable or unwilling to help, reach out to someone else, don`t give up, you have value beyond your imagination, and this site show`s that there and good people willing to help!

  62. It seems like a good idea to make a blog about bullying stories. Some pepole don’t know what these victims are going through and we should pay more attention to the abuse that comes from bullying. n_n

  63. When I picked up my two (2) boys from nursery school they were at that time, their ages 10 & 11. My oldest son, while in the car going home, he said “Mom, I want to kill myself.” I said Son, hold that thought till we get home. My heart dropped, and 2 1/2 miles in my head I am trying to think how to handle this situation. Got home and sent my youngest son to his room to do his homework. My oldest son and I sat on the couch and I said, Okay, Why? He said Head down, I don’t know.” I said, Son, You just don’t burst out to me that you want to kill youself, then say I don’t know. So, I needed to turn this around. So, I said Okay, Son, how do you plan on doing it. He looked shocked!! I don’t know. I said no problem. Let’s start with hanging. His eyes got so large, I got him scared, You don’t want to do that because the neck breaks, the body jerks and too much pain. He said no, I don’t, I said good. Then I said, Okay, Do plan on shooting yourself. You might miss, then again, you might not. again a lot of pain. No I don’t want to. Then I said, Look in the kitchen there are 4 chairs 1 is empty because your not there. Look in your bedroom, it is empty because your not here, at this time, my son is crying and my youngest son came into the room and heard all this and was crying also. Not me. I sat firm and talked very firmly with him and birthday’s and Christmas can’t celerbrate,because your not here, sure we will bring gifts to your grave and leave them, not the same and what about the LOVE we have for you??
    Then I stood up, and said, NOW!!! I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF!!! His eyes met mine and said that he was being bullied at school. I sat down and told him, and said, who wins?? He does, you lose because he knows that he can do this to do and anyone else are you going to let him do this to you and your family, To you??? He does this because he is unhappy at home and he wants others to be unhappy as he is and that gives him power, Son, this person needs help and by you killing yourself doesn’t help the situation at all, he doesn’t care about you, he will pick on someone else and so on. Don’t let him win, you are the one who will win because you are the bigger person. We hugged (all 3 of us) the next day I enrolled my boys in Karate School. My son is now 6th degree Black. Very proud. He stands up for himself, that is the way it should be. But it is also very sad that a lot these children feel that they can not come to their parents and let them know what is going on in their lives.
    Too many children die because of these sick kids. My son is now 36 yrs.
    I felt that I needed to tell my story, I just hope that this will help. Our children need to speak up. Even if their lives are threaten, speak up. It can be stopped before it’s too late.

    • What a powerful comment, Janice. It is so terrible to have this fear as a parent. My son only recently said the same to me and it made me sick. All the love we can give them and they still struggle.

    • Janice:

      Yours is an incredible story. It takes a very strong and committed parent to do what you did thirty-six years ago. Martial arts were not an option for me sixty years ago when I had so much trouble with bullies. Karate and Judo were known, but they were exotic practices associated with the recently defeated Japanese.
      The big question is ,”What should a parent do about bullying?” When the bullying takes the form of physical assault, as it did for me, training in martial arts may be the answer. What you did with your son took tremendous courage.

      • Hello Dave,
        You question was “What should a parent do about bullying?” I have found out that talking to the boys parent didn’t do any good mainly because they didn’t care, so the next step was the
        school itself and start with the principle of the school, now of course the Principle will say that “Your chhild must of done something do cause this.” This is typical, this is what I got. I stand
        up for myself and my sons, so I told him to be very observernt of this other boy have someone watch him, take notes then get back to me, and don’t tell me you don’t have the time, because
        I can get someone in here from higher up to do it if you refuse. He did it, and the situation was taken care of. It was not a threat, it was a promise. My son is now 36 yrs. That other boy is
        in prision, if he got the help he needed back then, things would have been different.

  64. Aeisenbe,
    The important thing you need to remember IS that your son came to you!!! Yes, it makes us sick, and it is sad that OUR children have struggle because of sick kids that need love from their parents and not getting it. Question to you, Is how did you handle it and how is your son now??? And what is being done about the situation?? Please let me because I care. God Bless Your Family.

    • Hello Aeisenbe,
      I am very proud of my son for having the courage to come to me and let me know that someone is bullying him. It unfortunate that a lot our young people back then and even today try to handle it on their on mainly because their feely it is their problem or their parents are too busyor don’t want to be bothered, or if the child does tell the parent, the 9 out of 10 the parent will tell the child, it’s your problem, you deal with it. My children new from a very young age, their problems are my problems and that we can work them out together no matter what they are, and when they need or want to talk to me, I stop whatever I am doing, and give them my complete attention.
      This is what a parent does.
      Now, to answer your questions, my son is now 36 yrs. lst degree Black Belt never again bullied by this young man, I found out talking to that boys parent didn’t do any good, mainly because they didn’t care. So, the next step was to talk with the Principle of the school, now of course the Principle said that My child must of done somehing to have cause this. This is typical, so this is what I said. I stand up for myself and for my sons, so I told him to be very observent of this other boy and have someone watch him, take notes then get back to me, and don’t tell you don’t have the time, because I can get someone in here higher up to do if you refuse. He did it, and ther situation was taken care of. It was not a threat, it was a promise. We are talking about children here, children that want to come to school to learn, to become a teacher one day, or a computer science, and so forth, they don’t come to school to get beaten up. It is sad to say the other boy is in prision, if he got the help he needed, parents that cared, then things would have been different. My son is doing great, he is married now. Thank you for your concern and God Bless Your Family as well.

      • I had a similar experience with my son. He went to the principal to defend someone that was being bullied and the principal told him that if the boys who were bullying got suspended, he’d have to suspend my son as well for telling on them. WHAT? Sometimes it makes no sense.

      • Again, Janice, let me commend you for your forthright defense of you son and for your willingness to confront incompetent school officials. Today, schools that ignore and cover-up bullying and criminal assaults face the prospect of lawsuits and adverse coverage on the evening news, to say nothing of criminal prosecution when they violate the new anti-bullying laws that some states have. The boy who bullied your son is in prison because of a lifelong pattern of criminal behavior which began in your son’s school. Whether or not intervention could have helped him, his imprisonment underscores what I believe to be true about bullying – that it is a law enforcement problem when it involves behavior that would be criminal if committed by adults.

  65. I am in 9th grade. Back in 7th grade the people who i thought we’re my closest friends bullied me every single day at the lunch table. I was so close to suicide. I switched friends at the beginning of 8th grade. At the end of 8th grade i developed an alcohol problem because my mom critisized me and thought everything i did with my grades slipping was just me not trying. I was depressed but i didnt tell any adults. I thought my mom would of been mad at me. She found out about the alcohol thing at the beginning of 9th grade after i had stopped. I moved on to a caffeine addiction and then a pill addiction. I slept through every one of my classes this year (9th grade) didn’t do homework, was in my room as much as possible trying to get away from my mom. End of 9th grade I have now developed Intermittent explossive disorder (anger episodes) which happen whenever my mom ignores me or critisizes me or tells me to do something i already understand. And this all came about because some immiture kids bullied me 2 years ago.

  66. Hello Aeisenbe,
    Well, it seems to me that the Principal is a little afraid of the bullies himself.
    He himself can’t stand up for himself or any other innocent victim s in this case. I am sure The School Board would have a field day with him. This is what children do, they protect each other, this is what the PRINCIPAL is suppose to do HELP and SHOW the example of what needs to be done. If hhe is unable to do his job as the Principal, get someone that can. This is UNACCEPTABLE!!!! So, what did you do?? I need to know, I care!!

    • We sent a note to the school principle and subschool principle. It was the subschool one that made the comment. We told them we were disappointed with the blame on our son. I called him as well. In the end, it becomes an issue of how much you want to affect your child’s life at school. He ended up losing many long-term friends over the issue, but for us and I think for him, he is better for it, because he found another group of kids to hang out with for the rest of the year. I still think it sad that both in the movie Bully, and in the school systems, there are still administrators that “don’t get it” when it comes to bullying and how to handle the situation so it leads to an acceptable resolve. All this did was make my son distrusting of the school leadership and unwilling to deal with that kind of confrontation again.

  67. And this is what is so sad about this situation. IS WHO DO YOU TRUST?? Your son did the right thing, but yet got punished for it. Protecting another human being, that is what God wanted hiim to do. I am sorry for your son for what he had to go through. It seems to me the School System was protecting the bullies and not your son. Again, I will say, The school system are afraid themselves. What a shame. They would rather turn the other cheek when someone is being bullied, then stand up and do something about it. It seems to me that these students CONTROL the school and whomever they want. And that the school and the administrators throw up their hands and say ‘ i don’t know what do or i give up.’ LET’S BLAME THEM BOTH. i am sorry that your son lost many friend over this, but he is your son, he comes FIRST, and finding new friends will help him. They cry for help, but no one really listens, the listen, but do they really HEAR???? Take care, Aeisenbe and your family, I hope for your son that not every adult is like the PRINCIPLE!!! There are good people out there that will listen, hear you and will do something about it, no matter what it is, NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT. My father taught me at a young age ”SEE SOMETHING WRONG, MAKE IT RIGHT.” I do that. I stand by my father’s word and I fight, my sons (I have 2) do the same thing. My neice does the same thing, she will not put up with bullying in her school and she is 15 yrs., IT HAS TO STOP NOW. These are our children and too many of them died because these bullies that are unhappy themselves, not getting the attention and love that they need at home, so they are victims themselves, but that is no excuse to hurt someone else or see someone die because of him/her. I hope for a long and happy life for your son and your family and May God Bless You Always. Please keep me posted.

  68. I would like you to educate me on the laws that dictate the reporting of verbal abuse/degradation, physical abuse, bullying, and neglect if the abuser is and educator. In May 2007, I reported an incident where a special education student was verbally abused/degraded in a behavioral room to the point they exploded. Then they were dragged to a “padded room” like a wild animal. There was no monitoring of the student. I was instructed by the aide not to monitor the student. At some point, I became concern about the student and ignore the instruction andd checked on the student. The student was attempting to strangle themselve with their draw string on their shorts. The aide took care of it and covered the only window to the padded room. I wrote note to the teacher about the incident. I was a substitute teacher. When I left at 3:15 or later, the student was still in the room. The teacher or principal never contacted me. Two weeks later I was pulled into human resource and the school falsified a report blaming me for the incident. I recounted the incident with human resource and even put it in a certified letter. I told the superintendent and gave her a copy of the certified letter. I told the school board and provided them a copy of the letter. They covered the incident up. I feel they violated the state codes and federal special education laws, but no else sees that way. How do we protect or student, especially are most vulunerable student? How do we protect our teachers, whoever thet are, from this type of retaliation?

    This the short version if you go on endteacherabuse.org click on teacher stories and again on teacher stories and my name and you will see the years of fighting this injustice to me and the student. Yet, I’ve come to learned there is really no reporting criteria if this type of abuse happens in school only for sexually abuse. The Department Education has said it isn’their problem. The state superintendent said its a personal issue. The Spokane school district has a histroy of looking the other way when it comes to special education students. I can tell some horror stories. There are several of us around the state trying to change and bring attention what is secertly going on the halls of our public schools in Washington. Teachers are losing job or suffering worse fates if they report these type of incidents. My teaching career is over; now my really work is starting. What hurts the most is I found out I don’t have protection under the 5th and 14th for due process, not protected by any labor laws, or under the constitution. Even the student was denied due process and he did nothing wrong; the student didn’t deserved the abuse. I paid a big price by doing the right thing. Any information or guidance that would help strengthen our cause to change the culture of abuse and coverup in Washington state would be much appreciated.

    Norbert Leute

    A Man,veteran, and teacher without a country

  69. Bullied
    by
    Johnny Bob Taylor

    With Life long sorrows
    the sad bird sings,
    unable to fly,
    with broken wings.
    Bullied, made fun of,
    No tears left to cry.
    Beaten left to die.
    God please tell me Why?
    Bruises and nose bleeds,
    Constant insults.
    The Same Thing each day.
    Wanting to die.
    Always more than one,
    Taunts, burns, and stones.
    a new broken bike.
    No one gave a damn.
    Except the Elm tree,
    which held me high.
    There… Able to fly,
    On golden wings.
    Close these eyes to sleep,
    my Creator.
    Let me know the Sky.
    Oh Beulah Land.
    Where Time is no more.
    Where Pain is no more.

    I am grown now. There are scars physical and emotional which cannot be healed. My childhood was stolen by bullies. My teens and twenties were taken from me by bullies at school and in the Army. But I have survived.
    There must be laws and conferences to change all of this. It is not acceptable for one child to be left behind.
    I am available for guest speaking.

  70. I need help promoting my Kickstarter! I am hoping you will be willing do do so on your blog. The subject matter pertains!

    Camouflage

    The film Camouflage explores the mind of a mentally unstable twenty-year-old suffering from the consequences of bullying and sexual repression. The film opens with AUSTIN GRIFFIN in the midst of a mental blackout. His best friend, MATT, is bullied at a fraternity party because of his sexual orientation and it pushes Austin over the edge. Austin seeks guidance from his counselor, NOLAN, who advises him not to do anything rash. Austin ignores the recommendation, breaks into Tim’s dorm room, and waits for him to arrive. Tim enters; Austin confronts him about bullying Matt, and reveals that he has a gun. A KNOCK on the door. Austin gives Tim permission to open the door, he does, and Austin’s “girlfriend”, SAMAR, enters. After a brief altercation, a shooting occurs, and Austin is taken into custody.

    A Middle-Eastern FBI agent, AMIRA, interrogates Austin for a number of days. Over the course of the examination Austin becomes more disoriented, he experiences flashes of his past, and the audience discovers what ultimately led him to want to kill bullies on his campus. At the age of four AUSTIN’S MOTHER commits suicide in front of him, at fourteen Austin’s first gay experience results in his best friend committing suicide, and at the age of seventeen Austin starts to experience hallucinations and manic episodes. Austin cannot seek help from his father, GALVIN, so he decides to hide his sexual preferences and ailments in order to fit in among his peers. Upon his arrival at college, Austin seeks guidance from Nolan who advises him that it is time to face his true personality. This movie has potential with the R-rated audience with hopes that the film will initiate pertinent conversations between parents and their children.

    A little information about Kickstarter: Kickstarter is a website that many artists use as a funding platform for creative projects. It is an all or nothing crowd-funding site, meaning the creators of the projects ONLY receive the funds donated IF THEY REACH THEIR TOTAL GOAL. When a project does not reach their goal, the backers are not charged, and the project is not funded.

    Here is a link: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1017776074/camouflage

    Here are directions on how to use Kickstarter:

    1. Visit: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1017776074/camouflage

    2. Click the green box on the right titled “Back this project”

    3. Enter your pledge amount

    4. Select your reward

    5. Continue to next step

    6. Click “new to kickstarter” & fill out your information

    7. Put in your amazon password OR fill in info if new to amazon

    8. SUBMIT!

    I would really appreciate it if you would consider sharing my project! I am so excited to start working on it, and I am ready to make my first feature film.

    Thank you so much! Talk to you soon!

    Kyle T Cowan
    Actor/Writer/Director/Casting

  71. I have been reading alot of articles and blogs on bullying. I am looking for articles and research on Family bullying/Home bullying. This happens more than anyone wants to admit. I right now have a grandson that is a victim of this bullying from his father. He found no one listening to him including police and CPS of Pennslvania. He ran away and is now in Foundations of Bucks County with Depression and suicide statements. I called this facility and asked what education the staff had on this subject and first the lady didn’t even know of bullying than stated they have no comment on staff education. I know the Pennsylvania State Attorney General passed a law on this but who is being trained to recognize it… these cases are being passed as custody issues.. I don’t want my grandson to end up a statistic of bullying…. I need help.. I even called criminal lawyers who never even heard of bullying cases… If anyone can help PLEASE EMAIL ME ASAP!!!!!!
    Desperate Grandmother

  72. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back
    to your webpage? My website is in the exact same
    niche as yours and my users would genuinely benefit from
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    if this okay with you. Thank you!

  73. Hi I’m a Mum of a boy who is now 13 but nearly didn’t make it to this age. He was bullied when he was 10 so bad he attempted suicide but I found him in the middle of it he survived but the bullying gave him anxiety disorder which triggered o.c.d Obsessional compulsive disorder and lead to being medicated on Prozac which was a mistake to put him on, it wasn’t good for us but may be for some??? he also had to take something to sleep. I had to home school him for two very difficult years. Its bad enough that bully’s hurt one person but it has a ripple effect on whole families I had to leave my Job our marriage nearly broke up our daughter had to take a back seat for a long time, my son nearly died.

    We felt so alone and didn’t know how to help our son we all became very isolated my son has since recovered, a prayer I prayed everyday for two years he is off medication and in a new school he’s had to have a lot of therapy to get to this place. He has lots of great friends now but it was very nearly a different ending they did change who my boy was these bully’s, but he is coming back more and more each day.

    I have now written a book about that two years and about my own abuse as a child I haven’t the money to publish it yet but am saving I want to just help people not feel alone and talk about what worked for us and what didn’t.

    I love that we have this website It also helps you feel not alone I didn’t know about it till recently and wish I found it earlier so will put the word out Thanks Alan

  74. I hope you do not mind writing to you – but we came across your website and seen it has a list of resources. We have just over 1,000 articles published on bullying, an example of some include:

    http://nobullying.com/cyber-bullying-movie/

    http://nobullying.com/ten-internet-safety-tips-to-avert-cyber-bullying/

    http://nobullying.com/teen-bullying-and-depression-stories-solving-the-problem/

    We have a very active social community and have contributors to the website ranging from teachers to child psychologists. If you think that our website might be worthy of being included in this list we would be more than delighted. If you require any more information from us – do let me know. Otherwise thank you for your consideration and time.

    Best Regards,
    Ciaran Connolly.
    Co-Founder – NoBullying.com

  75. Thank you for sharing my insights, I hope it will help others. These children who are being bullied and the ones who are doing it, need to understand that they are victims also. The bullies learned it possible from their parents, OR seeing how one parent is being treated by another, getting out their anger to another child at school. So many reasons why these unfortunate children do this others is very sad, and worse of all is when one victim takes his/her life because of it, and it could have been prevented by SPEAKING UP!!!!! The signs are there, do not ignore them.
    Your child is worth you stepping in and helping.

  76. Hi, Allan. I love what you’re doing, here. I think stories are the absolute ANSWER. If we can listen to each other’s stories – and we’ve ALL got stories about how bullying’s affected us – then we can begin to empathize and maybe start to bring an end to the violence. To that end, I’d love to share a short film I wrote with you called LOCKER 212, that tells the story of a high school bully who gets his wallflower victim caught up in a conflict with school authority. If you’re willing to share it on your site… even better! Thanks for your time. Josh

  77. From my point of view, seeing anyone hanging from a shower head would pull you off, but my question is how many young man entered the bathroom saw you and left without helping, before the nice one helped you? I am impressed with this nice guy and did you ever become friends after that or just go your separate ways after high school? Just remember these bullies are nothing but cowards, have unhappy lives and enjoying picking on others to make them winners, but in the long run, they will lose because you will prove how strong you. Best of luck to you always.

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