My Bullying Days: A Victims point of view

When I read this story, what I found interesting is how much the impact of the teachers in each year had on the author. It continues to remind me of how important teachers and administrators are to helping resolve the bullying issues going on. While it is not just on the teachers and school administrators shoulders, they play a big part in seeing the activity and noticing the signs of bullying. But everyone needs to notice when a child is acting differently and play a part as a community of support. ~Alan Eisenberg


The Names and place in this story have been changed to protect the identities of such persons.

Wow how pathetic im writing this. I’m so dumb! What is wrong with me? Why don’t I have friends? No one I text answers me! Not even a good friend I had, Barbara. Not even the classmates at Oakwood, from Berea forget it they get my texts, they read them and ignore. But when they do it goes something like; “You’re so annoying! Don’t text me no one likes you!” Sadly I can handle being treated like crap. So here is my story of me, Matthew.

First I started off in preschool but then elementary or then happy old kindergarten! Coldenham Elementary the school I spent 6 years at. Im not going to lie and say, how great it was going to school there. It was more like you joined a group of kindergartens to survive. Luckily I had an advantage my sister went to school there and my friend was Jake McGinnis I knew him well then and he had friends who became my friends. At recess we would play a game we made up called “Boys Group” we would have meetings under the slide. The girls would have their own group. We al believed in cooties still. This game went on till 3rd grade. It was Mrs. Hyman’s class she was not very nice. I loved to play with the kitchen set and blocks. I only got in trouble once. It was nap time. I was at a table with Jake McGinnis, Emma Everdeen, and Rae Franklin. I said something to Rae it was like how would you like if I pee in your face. It was silly she cried and so did I when Mrs. Hyman sent me home with a note. On the bus I sat in seat 5 it was the cool seat. I put the note in my bag at the bottom. When I got home I threw my bag down by refrigerator and ran to my parent’s room. They had a TV and to feel better I watch a show, Ed, Edd, & Eddie, it was a show I wasn’t allowed to watch because it used the word “Stupid” a lot and to a 5-year-old boy I had no self-control not to watch. My mom found it and talked to me I cried and fell asleep in her bed that night. When I got back that Monday to school I don’t remember but I must have felt scared and awkward. At the end of the year we had to sing songs about Hawaii or tropical themes we wore leis and green.

In first grade I was in Mrs. Scarlet’s class. Luckily Jake was there as well. Now we didn’t go under the slide because that was the kindergarten playground. Now we meet at the jungle gym. Now the girls would chase us, I would like it. I would even annoy them to chase me. Mostly my first crush, Emma Everdeen, she left that year. Mrs. Scarlet had a prize box were you earned tokens. She had animal plates on her wall were we would meet to say the weather every morning. I remember show and tell I brought in some seashells from Point Pleasant Beach. I also remember drawing a huge picture of the “Cat in the Hat” she taped it to her window, and I remember always looking in the morning on the way in and seeing the paper taped to the window. Ever sense then for a few years I looked in that direction.

In second grade I had Mrs. Clark my favorite teacher. She still is. She had a wall that opened to Mrs. Scarlet’s room every Friday she read a story to both classes. She had a piano were she played and we sang we gotta pig in the parlor. I took lessons and even played for my class. She had a chart where u get a green token if u did a good deed a yellow if u did something wrong and a red if u were spoken to twice about something. If u got 4 green u got a prize a bookmark I think. She also read a book about a hawk. She read my favorite series the boxcar children I loved it. We had recess on the black top and our club was disappearing they played tag a lot. Cooties were going I had a new crush Brianna Lim she lived 5 minutes from home and I invented her to my birthday party. I remember I felt so good when I made up or brought the push game to school. I sold them or made them for people to trade. Once I was with a group of kids in class talking and Mrs. Clark yelled I quickly pretended I was getting a drink. When she said my name I almost cried but then she picked up my folder which some how was in the trash. I don’t know who threw it away. I was so relieved but embarrassed. Jake was still in my class not a best friend but a friend. I don’t remember the year but Daniel was a friend who was in the group. He would pretend with me we thought if u went in the grass u would die so once we through a ball around and it went over the fence i don’t remember who got it but we were scared. The black top had been painted so there was a water stream painted on and we pretended it was the way to the base. The group base we were spies the boys group or then or maybe 3rd grade our own boy’s team.

In 3rd grade I was in Mrs. Graymans’s class she wasn’t my favorite teacher. We were in the new wing of the school by the music room and art room. We still sat at round tables and not desks. Jesse was at my table the first time. For math I had Mrs. Jones I wasn’t good at math so she was for the lower groups it went Mrs. Hayfield as the smartest kids them Mrs. Grayman and Mrs. Jones for the middle lower kids and for the really behind kids, Mrs. Crowley. The boys group was gone but I tried to carry it on with Daniel now the boys were playing Basketball or tag. Now the line between girls and boys were begging to mix. The UN cool nerd girls played tag while the others had there own tag or square a game were you bounce a ball side to side. I remember I hated gym starting that year. I hated kickball and pinball. They would make fun of terribly mostly when you had to climb the rope.

In 4th grade I was in Mrs. Shinn’s class and so was Jake. Jake then was very rude and annoying. It was true if you said a bad word you were cool. The drama at recess when a girl cried because her boyfriend broke up with her was very stupid. It was spreading boyfriend and girlfriend I honestly wanted no part of it sure I had a crush or two not real I now know. They were Kylie Murphy and Barbara Mates. I even told Kylie I had a crush on her in 5th grade, told her I liked her in 4th. Barbara liked me I liked her but she was the boyfriend girlfriend person. I remember the first day of 4th grade; I wore a black t-shirt with a skeleton hand playing guitar on it. The room was upstairs near the bathrooms. They had desk together to make 4 to a table that day I was the table with the 2 new girls, Kylie Murphy and Becca Crawline. I think Trevor Visconti was at the table, I don’t remember. Kylie was wearing a white shirt and white pants and a sparkly hair pin. Becca had a white blouse and a brown skirt. I remember during class I asked her where she lived and normal get to know you questions. Her breath stunk terribly, I remembered. They were very nice girls though. At recess girls and boys now played together and raced each other or played on the jungle gym. I enjoyed the swings. In gym it was kickball and baseball both of which I was terrible at. The teasing was very annoying. Andrew Salem was my friend I remember once at gym we were sick and he dared me to sing the I Love You, Barney song the, naughty version. I couldn’t say no I really wanted a friend so I did and he giggled when I said a bad curse word. They had an advent for boys called “Me and my Gal bowling”. Where the boys brought there mom’s bowling it was fun me Andrew went together and so did Clinton Irish. We all played quack deli oso a hand game.

How can I forgot 5th grade…I can’t let me say I try to forget it but I can’t and now as a reminder I type these memories. I started off just starting 5th grade, how exciting just one year till Middle School! I was in a great class with a wonderful teacher that everyone wanted. Mr. Crafter was the only male teacher at Coldenham and the funniest. The first day is hard to remember I just remember look around the class room and spotting the new kid, Cassandra Pierce who was chosen as my study partner. I thought out of the other students I get stuck with the new girl! She was nice though she became one of my friends and to her, her first in the school. I remember the biggest thing that year, Silly Banz. Everyone had at least 50 but I had 550! It was amazing how it caught on I traded with my two friends at recess always they were, Kylie Murphy, Shana Morse, and Barbara Mates. That year was good till January, which isn’t much of a year at all well but a few months. It started directly after Winter Break… As we all played on the jungle gym I was approached by my friends, I thought oh good we can play tag, Barbara said first something like, and “Why do you talk weird?” My reply was “I don’t! Do i…? Her friend Jane tagged in and said,

“Why are you so skinny?” I felted trapped…. I said a weak reply of “Im not.” Then Jen Denver tagged into it then as well “Why are you so ugly.” Almost in tears I just walk up the jungle gym ladder up to the slide. I’m caught they meet me at the other end of slide and Barbara says, “Pencil Stick” I knew what she meant from the recent conversation. She was calling me skinny in a rude way. I just walked away and stupidly said “No I ain’t!” Why oh why did I say ain’t? This made them all laugh harder. This is where the bullying begins. The following months were bad… My mother told

Mr. Crafter about the bullying and he was mad, at the students who bullied me. He spoke them in a clever way saying they don’t have to apologize but he recommends they do. Through their own guilt Jen, Jane, and Barbara came to me at recess while I played basketball they all said sorry. Jen with head down hopefully in shame and Barbara head high with respect and Jane who simply shuffled her shoes. I said “Thank You” They went their way and I my own. Jen and I were not friends again. Jane left to transfer schools in March and Barbara and I became best friends and we talked about the day she bullied me a lot and I have healed from it partly. All was good until June, you must think oh school ends in June, good! Well the 5th grade went on a 3 day, 2 night trip to Greenkill. I shared a room with some boys and my bunk mate Stanley Waite below me. We gossiped that night talking about girls and inappropriate things i never knew but learned that night. The hike on the second day was the worst. While on the hike a boy in my grade I didn’t even know the name came up to me and pushed me aside and said with a huge smile “Don’t Fall!” I was on a thin ledge when he pushed me I nearly fell to my death if there wasn’t a small tree I grabbed hold of. Later that day he threw my Kodak camera into a puddle. He then poured water in my bunk bed and took my clothing while I was in shower, forcing me to walk in the hall in a towel. He then proceeded to call me names such as, the rude inappropriate one P*ssy. Then later he called me do*che bag and a skinny B*tch. I couldn’t wait for this trip to be over. It was soon enough but when my mom was picking me up he tripped me and I fell down he laughed at me. I just cried to my mother how much I hated the trip. School ended then and I graduated from Elementary. I was so upset knowing that now Middle School would without a doubt be worse. In late July my parents confronted me and told me I had a chose they could send me to private school or I go to public school. No hesitation I said Private School. I applied to St. Joseph’s and Oldfield Fernabaugh School both in New York. I went to Oldfield Fernabaugh. I returned in November of 2011 to visit Berea but after that no. Im glad I chose Oldfield Fernabaugh. Barbara and I talked all through out 6th grade but it ended in the Summer of 2011, she just didn’t answer that day or the next. No one answer a few did answer they told me off with hurtful words and curses. The last one I texted was Ally Gomez whom I had known since Kindergarten, one day she told me that she didn’t want to be my friend and to delete her number. I asked why. No reply. That was the end of my Coldenham friends. I made my new better friends at Oldfield Fernabaugh. I started 6th grade that year yes with some bullying but that was put a stop too quickly. A teacher named Ms.Turner was a bully. I have a learning disorder called NLD so I learn different then others. She didn’t want to change a bit. It was a small class of hardly 10 and she cannot help 1? The headmistress did not like Ms. Turner’s behavior and gave her notice she was fired and must leave when the school year was out. I never saw Ms. Turner again and I hope never to. The next year 7th was perfect I had friends and wonderful teachers who helped and supported me and I was so happy. I start 8th grade in September I am confident I will be more independent and use my voice to speak up. So I hope you have enjoyed the story of ME!

I have survived it no more bullying to this point so this really isn’t a Story of a Bullying Victim but a story of a Bullying Survivor.

~Matthew